milliways_bar | (no subject)

Half a shrug, and easily: "Somebody's got to. And I reckon you got more'n enough to worry on."

He sobers a little, at that.

"I've been trying not to," he says, and it's probably obvious he's not talking about the exam.

It's obvious, and she studies him for a moment before saying lightly, gently, "That's somethin' you're not all that good at. Figure we both know that."

"It's kind of ironic. Figuring out how to rescue Kitty was what I fixated on, back when ... "

He's picked up his fork again, turning it in his fingers. He's still ignoring the remnants of his salad.

"We needed a plan, we needed data on the prison, we needed this, we needed that. And all this time we could have just walked in and walked out with her. Except that she won't come."

Kaylee...doesn't understand that. Had it told to her, but doesn't get it.

Because when you try to hold the government accountable, you always make sure you've got somewhere to run to afterward. You don't leap into anything you don't have a reasonable chance of getting out of.

...unless you're Mal, and you're not entirely sane at the moment. But that's beside the point.

Very quiet: "Do we know that her feds aren't makin' her feel that way, somehow?"

Simon looks up a little sharply at that, and the fork stills in his hand.

But the momentary tension is gone almost as soon as it appears, and he shakes his head. "If she'd seemed at all ... not in her right mind, it would be different."

"But she didn't." Questioning.

Shaking his head again: "She didn't. Rational, coherent ... sarcastic," he adds with a half-smile, there and gone. "Fully aware of the implications of her breaking out. And of her staying there."

He puts down the fork again; almost tosses it down, as though wearied by it. It makes a little ringing noise on the plate. "She's made a reasoned decision. Which isn't to say I don't disagree with it vehemently, it just ... it means I don't have the right to sedate her and carry her out by force."

That's when Kaylee's eyebrows fly up about six feet, and she sits back a little in her chair.

"You'd have the right any time else?"

"...shenme?"

"That's just a little violent, don't you think?"

For a moment he doesn't say anything.

Then: "If she were incoherent. Not recognizing people. Or if there were some solid reason to believe that someone else was playing with her mind, and that's why she was resisting being taken out. Then there might be room to argue for it."

Kaylee picks up her chopsticks again, takes her napkin out of her lap, and puts it on the table. She rests the chopsticks on top.

She's not quite sure why she's reacting this way. It's only --

It's scary.

"But she's not," he finishes, lifting one hand and letting it drop.

"So there isn't even that, as an alternative to leaving her there."

She nods.

It's just that -- well.

With Mal it's one thing. With Jayne, it's not a big deal at all.

It's very rarely that Kaylee ever glimpses that side of Simon.

And when she does -- she doesn't like it. Not at all.

Barely audible, to the table: "They're going to be sending her somewhere worse."

One word, wary, hesitant:

"Where?"

"It's called Prison 42. It's ..."

(I don't want to go back to that place)

"Apparently it ... affects people who spend any length of time there."

Carefully, Kaylee says, "That don't tell me very much."

"Affects their state of mind."

A beat, and Simon gives a sigh that says why mince words? and says, low and quick:

"It drives its inmates insane."

Kaylee visibly pales.

"And -- she won't let -- "

"You see why I was considering the sedative." His voice is dry, with some effort.

It's hard to tell whether or not she does see it; his words and his tone have shut Kaylee up pretty effectively.

Only a few people are better at making Kaylee feel young and stupid.

(One of them is his father.)

He knows that look, by now.

"...ai ren, I'm sorry, that's not what I ..."

"Forget it." Low, and toneless. "It's fine."

He's not okay, and neither is she. It comes out in bad ways. She knows that.