Bob, Guardian 452 of System Mainframe (
mendanddefend_archive) wrote in
milliways_bar2007-02-22 05:45 pm
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Mardi Gras was two days ago. Yet Bob is still in his Hendrix costume.
Why? Because he likes it. Duh.
He's over in the corner, playing something that sounds like a bunch of random notes, but upon lengthy inspection will prove to be a psychedelic version of "O Canada."
Why? Because he likes it. Duh.
He's over in the corner, playing something that sounds like a bunch of random notes, but upon lengthy inspection will prove to be a psychedelic version of "O Canada."
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"You beens practicing, sounds like." He stated as he sat down and started playing along.
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Plus there was the whole 'stranded in the Web for the equivalent of 5 years' thing.
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He'd been stewing over the idea of starting a guitar workshop for those in the bar who wanted to learn how to play, or just wanted to jam along with the other guitar players. The idea came to him after he decided to give Rachel Grey lessons every monday. There were an awful lot of guitarists who probably would benifit to learn how to play fast, and well, he wouldn't mind meeting other people who liked to play as much as he did.
However, that was neither here nor there just at the moment, he just sat quietly and played loud.
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(Just don't tell the other dudes about it.)
Guess who was able to follow along just as easily and smoothly as ever? Oh yeah. You know it.
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Bob starts singing.
"Gold coast slave ship bound for cotton fields,
Sold in a market down in New Orleans,
Scarred old slaver know he's doin' alright,
Hear him whip the women just around midnight..."
How can such a good guitar player be such a terrible singer? It's one of the great mysteries of the universe.
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He takes the next verse,
"Drums beatings cold English blood run hot
Lady of the house wonderin's where its gonna stops
House boy knows that he's doin's alright
You shoulda heards him just around midnight"
Poor english aside? Not too bad.
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And all her boyfriends were sweet sixteen,
I'm no schoolboy but I know what I like,
You should have heard me just around midnight..."
He actually seems to be getting worse with every note.
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That was quite a feat.
Toki didn't seem to mind, just as long as Bob didn't stop playing, there'd be something to make up for his bad vocal work.
He smirked, playing through and straight into Toys in the Attic by Aerosmith.
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On the plus side, this means he won't be singing.
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"In the attic lights
Voices scream, nothing seen
Real's a dream
Leaving the things that are real behind
Leaving the things that you love from mind
All of the things that you learned from fears
Nothing is left for the years
In the attic lights
Voices scream, nothing seen
Real's a dream"
About halfway through the verse, Bar was helpful enough to send a waitrat over with lyrics.
The chorus wasn't that hard.
Scream it with me now!
"Toys
Toys
Toys in the attic!"
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Toys
Toys in the attic!"
Bob somehow manages to sound like several strangled cats.
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Leave it to Toki to find a way to make the best out of a situation. Especially when bad singing was involved.
"In the attic lights
Voices scream, nothing seen
Real's the dream
Leaving the things that are real behind
Leaving the things that you love from mind
All of the things that you learned from fears
Nothing is left for the years
Voices scream
Nothing seen
Real's a dream
Toys, toys, toys
In the attic"
Honestly, if Bob could go to a user world, Toki would be able to find a band for him with a voice like that. Really.
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In the attic
Toys, toys, toys
In the attic
Toys, toys, toys
In the attic!"
Nearby waitrats appear to be in pain.
Time for Bob to choose a song. How about a little U2?
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He could handle the other man's voice, he'd dealt with worse.
He was grinning up a storm. This was the most fun he'd had in a while. He'd forgotten the last time he'd actually had fun with impromptu jams. Usually they ended in fights, down Mordhaus way.
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"You don't know how you took it
You just know what you got
Oh Lordy you've been stealing
From the theives and you got caught
In the headlights
Of a stretch car
You're a star..."
Or maybe it's a good thing he's not here to hear Bob murder the vocals.
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"Dressing likes your sister
Living likes a tart
They don't know whats yous doing
Babe, it must bes art
Yous a headache
In a suitcase
Yous a star"
Maybe not.
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"Oh, no, don't be shy-yyy...
You don't have to go bli-i-i-ind...
Hold meeeee, thrill meeeee,
Kiss meeeee, kill meee-eeeeee..."
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"You don't knows how you got here
You just knows you want out
Believings in yourself
Almost as much as you doubts
Yous a big smash
You wears it like a rash
Star"
Honestly, the only thing that could possibly put a damper on his good mood is if a sulking blonde came up to them to drag him away. And that wasn't going to happen soon.
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Hands over his ears he
saidshouted, "Tokis! What is the hells are be you doings?!"no subject
Hopeful smile?
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Way to go. Skwisgaar had no words.
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"You doesn't knows what fun is. Come sits down and plays with us! You needs to relax." He looked over at Bob apologetically. Really, the blonde was just about the most buzzkill one guy could stand.
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