Bartleby in his room

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

Waking up, whimpering rawly, from his nightmare, it hits with the crash of a moving car, and suddenly Bartleby realises. He remembers. He... he pulled a gun. He shot Ingress.

He curls into a tight ball under the covers, and screws his dry eyes shut, trying desperately to get rid of the memories and the nightmare, which are merging and twining around him, insiduously slipping into his brain.

Comments

[white-to-gold.livejournal.com]

*steps cautiously through the open door*

Bartleby? Angel?

[mnt_raph]

*Raph stays low to the ground. He doesn't take his eyes off Bartleby's bed, as he begins to collect his picking equipment.*

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

I...

[white-to-gold.livejournal.com]

*goes over to the bed*

*slips his glove back on and reaches for Bartleby's hand*

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

*his eyes fly open, and he pulls his hands away*

I hurt people.

[white-to-gold.livejournal.com]

I know.
I'm sorry I wasn't there. I was ill. Nobody told me.

I'm here now.

*takes Bartleby's hand. Firmly*

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

*Bartleby's hand lies limp and passive in the Fool's*

I... I've only just... is Ingress okay? *he suddenly looks frantic, clawing his way upright* Ingress. Did I kill here?

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

[OOC: "her", not "here"]

[white-to-gold.livejournal.com]

No... no, Angel. the child is alive and well. I spoke with Lady death. She told me that you gave her no cause to work that night.

But... tell me why.

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

There is no why. *his body sags* I'm just a... *obviously cannot think of words vile enough*

...fucking bitch.

[mnt_raph]

*Raph can't help but snicker from the corner*

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

*stares at Raph, eyes haunted*

[mnt_raph]

*This wipes the mirth right off Raph's face*

[white-to-gold.livejournal.com]

*is silent for a moment*

do you know why I'm here, Angel?

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

Because you're self-destructive. *Bartleby isn't focusing his full attention on the Fool, eyes flickering from side-to-side, looking at remembered horrors*

[white-to-gold.livejournal.com]

*laughs gently*
yes, perhaps. But always for a reason.

I'm here because I have to be. I'm here because you're needed. you. whole.

And I'm here because I want to be. Because...

*sighs*
just beacuse.
look at me, Angel. It's alright.

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

*Bartleby looks straight at the Fool, eyes holes filled with terrors* I've never been whole. I never will be.

[white-to-gold.livejournal.com]

few people are whole on their own.

I was part of something once. Not alone. It was good.

*strokes his fingers down bartleby's cheek*

it was very good.

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

I... Fool, what the hell are you doing? Why are you here? *glances to open door* Did Sirius let you in?

[white-to-gold.livejournal.com]

Sirius isn't here.

*blinks innocently*
the door just... came open. Raph and I had nothing to do with it.

and I should call you fool, I think.

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

Why are you here?

[white-to-gold.livejournal.com]

because you were alone.

I'll go, if you want me to.

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

I...

Help me.

[white-to-gold.livejournal.com]

*laughs in a way that is almost sobbing*

I will. However I can.
If you'll let me.

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

I... I remember... you'll get hurt.

[white-to-gold.livejournal.com]

I'm already hurt.
I want to be healed.

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

You think I can heal you? *tugs his hand away from the Fool, and stares at him with wide, half-mocking eyes*

Give me one thing I've done that's made you feel good about anything.

[white-to-gold.livejournal.com]

...
you smiled at me once.

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

*laughs shortly, breath hitching and fluttering sadly*

Yeah.

[white-to-gold.livejournal.com]

sometimes it's enough.
angel, I can stay if you want me to.


[ooc: sleep! I have to be a serious scientist tomorrow morning!]

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

One smile is enough? You're stupid, to give yourself away so cheaply.

[OOC: continue tomorrow afternoon?]

[mnt_raph]

*clears throat to remind them that he's still there*

Hate to break this up guys, but uh... I don't think folk 'round here will appreciate the two of us breaking in, and then one of us spendin' the night.

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

[OOC: *sobs*]

[mnt_raph]

[ooc: you know it's true]

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

*eyes suddenly widen as his head jerks up to Raph* I... *flushes*

[mnt_raph]

*Raph, who is armed, gives him a little wave*

Forget I was here, did'ja?

[white-to-gold.livejournal.com]

*smiles at the exchange*

come then, jailbreaker.
we must go.

[mnt_raph]

[ooc: yeah, that's what I figured.]

[mnt_raph]

*jumps to his feet*
Yeah, yeah yeah.

*dusts off his hands and exits the room*

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

Yes. *Bartleby seems to debate saying something, anything, but doesn't*

[white-to-gold.livejournal.com]

*laughs*
I told you, angel. You may not call me foolish. not now.

I'll come back. sleep well. try not to dream.

*lays a hand on Bartleby's hair for a second. Doesn't dare to kiss him.*

[ooc: real life permitting! *moans at depth of obsession*]

[watch-wait.livejournal.com]

*Bartleby is silent, his face suddenly shadowed again*

I... hope you do come back.

[white-to-gold.livejournal.com]

be sure of it

*slips out, shutting the door carefully*