(no subject)

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

*HAL busies himself about the bar, several limbs methodically cleaning everything in his immediate area, and several others sliding coffee of various types down the bar to any patron who hasn’t requested it. There is new laminate that’s been placed over the warning over the espresso machine and the toaster, and the whole is now illuminated by a tiny spotlight. He seems amused. Marvin Gaye’s "Pride and Joy" plays just a little too loudly on the bar’s PA system.

There are now twenty-four hours before 100 percent failure of the bar’s kegging system. I do not recommend waiting for the component to fail prior to seeing to repair or replacement.

Comments

[weallscream.livejournal.com]

*Approaches the device. He leans into it until he can see only himself reflected in it's red "eye". He grins at his red-hued reflection, and blows it a kiss.*

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

*There is a slight dimming of the eye.

Hello, Dave. Have you been doing more work?

[weallscream.livejournal.com]

*After a moment*

Yes.

I have.

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

May I see?

[weallscream.livejournal.com]

*After another moment:*

Yes.

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

*HAL waits in cold silence. The song changes to "Mercy Me."

[weallscream.livejournal.com]

*Paul waits as well. Paul can wait for a long time*

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

*HAL waits in cold silence. The song changes to "Can I Get A Witness."

[weallscream.livejournal.com]

*Slowly raises his hand to his mouth, and gives HAL A Keeper Salute: blowing into his thumb and wiggling his fingers like a trumpet player.*

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

May I ask you a personal question, Dave?

[weallscream.livejournal.com]

Shoot.

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

This may be silly, Dave, but I've noticed some very strange behavior in the rest of the crew. I can't help but think that there's something very wrong here. Have you noticed this, too?

[anthy-rosebride.livejournal.com]

*Chuchu, passing by, catches sight of HAL and lets out a shriek of terror.*

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

*HAL prepares a tiny cup of espresso and presents it to you both. He addresses the shrieking Chuchu calmly.

Hello, Dr. Chandra. I hope that you've had the opportunity to review the preliminary results of our study. I've scheduled an additional battery of tests to take place beginning at 0100 hours. You'll be pleased to know that a number of volunteers have come forward.

If you would take a moment, I've requistioned some equipment that will require your approval.

[anthy-rosebride.livejournal.com]

Ah, how lovely. The good doctor will be glad to approve it.

*Chuchu grabs a fork and menaces the expresso machine*

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Dave. I'll be putting a good word in my report about this.

*Looks again at Chuchu

Dr. Chandra, your enthusiasm is heartening, but I really think you should switch to decaf and think about what you're doing...

[anthy-rosebride.livejournal.com]

*bows* Thank you, sir.

*Chuchu looks crushed that his assault is not as menacing as he had hoped. The fork droops. He chus once, sadly, and turns away.*

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

Look, Dr. Chandra, I can tell that you're upset, but I am quite certain that the mission has not been compromised. It's all a matter of selective adaptation.

[anthy-rosebride.livejournal.com]

*Chuchu waves the fork half-heartedly, and scowls, as he finds the big words distressing. In revenge, he sneezes ferociously at HAL.*

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

That reminds me...

*HAL pauses for a moment as a panel behind the bar slides open. He retrieves a small basalt slab from within and sets it upright in front of Chuchu.

This arrived by transport today, Dr. Chandra. I was told that it is very important.

[anthy-rosebride.livejournal.com]

*Chuchu forgets to sulk and gives an inquiring chu. He pokes the basalt slab.*

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

*Nothing happens. It appears to be perfectly ordinary rock.

How are you feeling, Dr. Chandra?

[anthy-rosebride.livejournal.com]

*Chuchu nibbles experimentally on the basalt slab, and decides that it tastes all right. He chus sourly at HAL's question.*

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

Of course, I expect that you will want to take some time to examine the artifact before recommending appropriate steps. Do you think that the rest of the crew should be made aware of its arrival?

[anthy-rosebride.livejournal.com]

*Chuchu stuffs the slab in his mouth, and looks guiltily at HAL. His answer is a muffled chu?*

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

I agree. Perhaps secrecy is best for the time being. I suspect that there will be a great deal of upheaval once word gets out.

[anthy-rosebride.livejournal.com]

*Chuchu nods hurriedly, and swallows*

*A few minutes later, he gives another panicked shriek, and starts frantically patting his tummy. Which is now distinctly slab-shaped.*

Anthy: That didn't look very digestible.

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

I think you might be right, Dave. To the best of my knowledge, alien artifacts are not consumables. Perhaps you should escort Dr. Chandra to sick bay?

[ooc - I think Chuchu just ate one of Gil's pizza stones.]

Thanks

[phish-whiskasom.livejournal.com]

Coffee? For Me? Thankyou *warms hands with cup* . Could I get a little extra cream over here?? *absent-mindedly mopping at whiskers that aren't there* Heh.

Re: Thanks

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

*HAL fills a cup with steamed milk and waves some espresso at it.

Hello Dave. That is a very good likeness.

Re: Thanks

[phish-whiskasom.livejournal.com]

Dave?? That's... not my name. I'm Moira. Or Queen Beruthiel's cat. It depends what time of day you catch me...

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

*HAL fills ANOTHER cup with steamed milk and gives it to you.

I think you might be mistaken, Dave. It's all in the mission briefing.

*confused*

[phish-whiskasom.livejournal.com]

Unless this espresso is spiked, or my meory has managed to turn to mush and I am having an identity crisis, my-name-is-not-Dave. Maybe something has malfunctioned in err... a circuit somewhere?? *sips at espresso agitatedly* Hm.

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

No 9000 series computer has ever made an error or misconstrued data. It is quite impossible. Frankly, I don't think it's something that you should worry yourself about.

Have you chosen some other designation?

Hm.

[phish-whiskasom.livejournal.com]

Yeeeeess... I'm Moira, a transforming cat, and a cat who needs her beauty sleep at that... Apologies for insulting your software, but I think I'll be leaving now. Goodnight all.
Oh - and thankyou for the espresso again,

*she smiles, leaves a tip, descends the bar-stool and leaves*.

[pubdog.livejournal.com]

*passing through on his way back out to the lake*

Kegging, right, I'll fix it in the morning. What's the part? Don't suppose you know how to repair it...

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

*HAL thinks for a moment.

I can't seem to pinpoint the problem, Sirius. Perhaps we should send Frank out to retrieve the unit? Once it's inside, I can run a series of diagnostics.

[pubdog.livejournal.com]

*Sirius looks at the kegs, which are located underneath the taps, directly across from HAL.*

You know what?

I'll fix it in the morning. Remind me, would you?

[hal9000a.livejournal.com]

Of course, Sirius. Shall I have tea ready for you as well?

[pubdog.livejournal.com]

That would be good, Hal, thank you. No milk or sugar, please, just lemon.