milliways_bar | (no subject)

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[ Sandford, 20 March, 1987: Happy Birthday, Sissy Skinner. Warnings for, er, references. Can you guess to what? ]

A pub is a great place to wind up in when you're having a crappy day. Voluntarily winding up in a pub where it logically would be is even better. Involuntarily winding up in a pub where your house is supposed to be is not so good. Involuntarily winding up in a pub full of animals where your blessedly animal-free house is supposed to be is even worse. It's not the same as being dumped or mocked or seeing off your vehicular baby, but it's definitely not good for one's mental constitution.

Color Simon Skinner, age 37, very WTFBBQ.

Any patron, fuzzy or non, is welcome to tell the tall guy at the door where he is.

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"Milliways Bar, end of the universe." She tosses her head in the direction of the Observation Window. "Totally not a joke, either."

Skinner looks in that direction.

And damn near inhales his entire cigarette in one go.

Chloe snickers.

She's really not the person you ought to meet first on your first trip to the end of the universe.

"Okay, unless you're dead already, I'd recommend not doing that."

"Doing what?" he replies, turning to her with that "WTFOBSERVATIONWINDOW" look stuck on his face.

"Choking on that cigarette of yours."

"I quite enjoy smoking," he says defensively.

"Yeah, and I don't have a problem with that. The whole choking bit though?" Chloe shakes her head. "I don't recommend that."

"I am not choking."

Chloe laughs. "That whole inhaling thing when I showed you the window? Seriously, that's not choking?"

"It was inhaling." There is a difference!

"Whatever."

That smirk is totally still there.

"You aren't one of those anti-smoking health freaks, are you?"

She shakes her head. "I'm from Metropolis. You'd have to be insane if you really think that that's going to be a possibility some day."

"Metropolis? Never heard of it."

"You've never heard of Metropolis?" The expression on Chloe's face comes close to wincing. "Please tell me that you've been living under a rock."

"I have been living in Sandford."

"Quaint little English town?" Chloe wrinkles her nose. "Couldn't you do better? London? Edinburgh at least?"

Skinner gives her that "I'MMAKEELU" look.

It is made even more demonic when he suddenly retrieves and lights another cigarette.

"I," he begins, emitting a puff of smoke, "happen to love Sandford. Dearly. More than London or Edinburgh or any of the other towns you bloody tourists only think of."

"Okay, okay," Chloe responds, putting up her hands in defense. "Calm down. I was just saying."

"Well how would you react if someone insulted your city?"

"You do realize that there's a difference between a city like Metropolis and a small town like...um, what was it again?"

Simon lets out an exasperated sigh, scratching his forehead in irritation.

"Sandford."

"All right. Sandford then."

"Yes, there is a physical difference between a village and a city. I presume this is why they are not called by the same name. However, one can grow as attached to a city as they can to a village."

He stops just short of saying "so there."

Chloe has a tendency to rub people that way. It's her specialty.

But instead of arguing more, she just shrugs and turns back to her laptop.

"Whatever."