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"Bar?" says Bob when he comes in to Milliways today. "Get me my acoustic guitar and the sheet music for..." He trails off, then shrugs. "I dunno, surprise me."

The music which arrives is for a song entitled 'First of May,' by somebody named Jonathan Coulton. Bob takes the music and the guitar over to a comfy chair and is soon merrily strumming away.

Bar didn't see fit to include the lyrics to the song. Anybody have the guts to tell Bob what he's really playing?

The lyrics and an MP3 download of 'First of May' may be found here. WARNING: EXTREMELY NSFW.

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First Ironhide; then Bob.

You'd think everyone was interested in a scientist's less-than-rational feelings.

OK maybe not quite everyone. Just the ones told about it.

"Nothing more than the sense of an 'ill wind blowing'."

Bob has some experience with such feelings.

"When did it start?"

Unfortunately, Rad was never programmed in such a fashion.

All this is new.

He explains that, after April Fool's Day, he had spoken with Rodimus Prime asking to check on the incept lying in stasis lock, to run some standard tests, but was denied, since Rodimus himself was satisfied that there was no reason to be concerned about their new comrade.

So instead it was merely to be an informal visit.

"That's about when it began to make itself known. Just as Rodimus had said, everything was operating exactly as it should.

Then it insinuated itself into my mental processors. Unlike all other times when things run normally, there was the notion that something was amiss. Something the scanners were not picking up on."

Bob processes all this and nods. "Do you have, I dunno, some sort of deeper scan you can do just in case?"

"Yes, though I think Rodimus would not take kindly to my doing such a thing. They've got every kind of surveillance device they could get to ensure nothing happens to the incept.

Security would know if I were poking around."

That serves to do nothing but unsettle him more.

"...and he won't accept 'I have a bad feeling about this' as a reason to do a scan," Bob guesses. "Hm. That is a problem."

A beat.

"How long has the incept been in stasis, anyway?"

"Little over one Terran month. He was incepted mid-August. It's now almost the end of September. We're keeping him in stasis until I can find a time for Ironhide and his universe's Autobots to come and visit, and name the incept in a low-key but very formal ceremony."

"Maybe you'll have to wait until he's out of stasis and really get to meet him," offers Bob. "Scans can only tell you so much."

Certainly not the most reassuring of statements.

Because it means playing the "By then, it may be too late" track in Rad's mind.

"True. Anything wrong with the incept would be too subtle to detect by any conventional means."

Bob nods, lost in thought.

"...I can think of some unconventional means, but I don't think it's anything you'd want to try without the incept's permission..."

There is some o_o going on on Rad's part.

"No. Especially since he's not in a state to give it."

Wouldn't hurt to try, once we bring him into full consciousness though.

"Exactly," says Bob. "I'd like to be able to help, but I don't want to invade his privacy..."

Still more of that o_o Rad's becoming good at despite the optical band.

"What did you have in mind that would require permission from the patient to do?"

"Going in," says Bob simply. "I've been inside a Cybertronian's systems before, so I know it's possible, and Glitch's sensors may be able to pick up something that your scanners missed."

Small wonder Bob wants the incept's permission.

Such a thing would, in human terms, be an extreme violation of personal space.

"How much are you able to make out of a Cybertron's system, if you've been inside one?"

It bears asking.

"...not a lot," Bob admits. "Your coding systems are entirely different from what I'm used to. But if I have some idea ahead of time of what should be there..."

Rad nods.

"At our cores, there is some programming we all share. Everything else is an addendum to said programming."

What Bob needs is...

"An example of said basic programming will help you."

"If you'd be willing to provide it, that'd be great," says Bob. "I'm still obviously not gonna do it without the incept's permission, but..."

"Understandable." Rad would object to being poked about like that, if he were in stasis lock. "You'll need a volunteer. A Cybertronian who is not in stasis lock, to be more precise."

Bob nods. "I'll ask around."

Actually, he was thinking of naming himself the volunteer...

"Someone is bound to be able to help. So. Good luck with that."

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