(no subject)

[mendanddefend_archive]

"Bar?" says Bob when he comes in to Milliways today. "Get me my acoustic guitar and the sheet music for..." He trails off, then shrugs. "I dunno, surprise me."

The music which arrives is for a song entitled 'First of May,' by somebody named Jonathan Coulton. Bob takes the music and the guitar over to a comfy chair and is soon merrily strumming away.

Bar didn't see fit to include the lyrics to the song. Anybody have the guts to tell Bob what he's really playing?

The lyrics and an MP3 download of 'First of May' may be found here. WARNING: EXTREMELY NSFW.

Comments

[action_rad]

Never having heard of Coulton, Rad's as oblivious to the raciness of the ditty as Bob is.

"Didn't think you were into modern folk music—" Pause. "Didn't know you played guitar either."

[mendanddefend_archive]

"Oh, hey, Rad," says Bob, stopping in mid-bar. "Yeah, I got into it when I was still in the Academy. Playing guitar, I mean. I just had Bar pick music for me at random."

[action_rad]

Nodding, he asks, "What's it called? I've never heard that melody on the radio."

[mendanddefend_archive]

"'First of May.' I've never heard it before either, but we don't exactly get a lot of User music in my world..."

[action_rad]

"Should ask Bar if she'll give you some to take with you when you go back."

Which will probably result in much of the Awkward if she sends Bob home with anything like what Bob was just playing.

[mendanddefend_archive]

Indeed.

Bob looks thoughtful. "Maybe I will. So, how about you? What have you been up to lately?"

[action_rad]

'Really, Bob! There's kids in listening range!'

Yeah. Very much like that.

"Perusing Cybertronian archives. My instincts seem to think there's some kind of... Well. Probably not danger but something to create the sense of unease."

Pause.

"No luck at all."

[mendanddefend_archive]

That perks Bob's interest. Usually, a Guardian's 'instincts' kicking in mean that some majorly bad mojo is about to go down.

"Anything more specific than that?"

[action_rad]

First Ironhide; then Bob.

You'd think everyone was interested in a scientist's less-than-rational feelings.

OK maybe not quite everyone. Just the ones told about it.

"Nothing more than the sense of an 'ill wind blowing'."

[re_mybrains]

Okay, well, the mun can't pass that up.

It's been over a year since Tom entered and Bob briefly introduced him to the bar. Tom's looking considerably healthier than that night.

Bob . . . is still blue and chromey. Kinda memorable.

Plus, he has a guitar that's drawing Tom's not-very-discreet interest.

[mendanddefend_archive]

Somewhere around the second verse, Bob becomes aware that he has an audience.

"...hi. Have we met?"

All the brownish-pink faces tend to blur together a bit...

[re_mybrains]

"--Um."

Busted!

"Yeah, I think so. Uh, back when I first came in? About a year ago -- waving a gun, panicking about zombies?"

[mendanddefend_archive]

Bob thinks for a moment... "Oh, right, you thought I was some kind of zombie?"

[re_mybrains]

Wry: "Yeah, that was me. Hi again."

[mendanddefend_archive]

"Hi," Bob replies. Then: "You know, I don't think I ever actually got your name..."

[re_mybrains]

"--Oh, yeah, I think you're right." He half-waves. "Tom."

[mendanddefend_archive]

"Bob, Guardian 452 of System Mainframe." Bob sets the guitar aside so he can lean over and extend a hand to shake. "Pleased to finally meet you properly."

[a1enzo]

And look who else has once more smuggled his guitar in.

"Hi, Bob! What're you playing?"

Really good thing he doesn't have the lyrics.

[mendanddefend_archive]

"Something called 'First of May.' I asked Bar to pick a song for me," replies Bob. "Hey, Enzo. Have you gotten your grades back yet?"

[a1enzo]

Enzo shakes his head. "Tomorrow. I hope I did good. I know I missed some questions in Geography."

[mendanddefend_archive]

"Don't worry too much," says Bob reassuringly. "It's your first term. Nobody expects you to get everything right the first time."

A beat.

"Well, except for Professor Cathode. You'll have to watch out for him."

[a1enzo]

"You used to have him? Balun says his homework gives him headaches. Val says he's funny, though."

[mendanddefend_archive]

Bob nods. "Three terms. In a row. We were both sick of the sight of each other by the end of it."

[a1enzo]

"Yikes." And here Enzo was looking forward to new classes.

[mendanddefend_archive]

"Well, to be fair, it took me two terms to understand how he wanted citations to work..."