(no subject)

[mendanddefend_archive]

"Bar?" says Bob when he comes in to Milliways today. "Get me my acoustic guitar and the sheet music for..." He trails off, then shrugs. "I dunno, surprise me."

The music which arrives is for a song entitled 'First of May,' by somebody named Jonathan Coulton. Bob takes the music and the guitar over to a comfy chair and is soon merrily strumming away.

Bar didn't see fit to include the lyrics to the song. Anybody have the guts to tell Bob what he's really playing?

The lyrics and an MP3 download of 'First of May' may be found here. WARNING: EXTREMELY NSFW.

Comments

[mendanddefend_archive]

"Exactly." A beat. "Well, not exactly, some of the enemies are part of the Game itself, but a lot of the time? The User is fighting system sprites."

[re_mybrains]

"Christ."

He scratches his beard, shaking his head. "I feel like I oughta apologize."

[mendanddefend_archive]

Bob shakes his head. "You didn't know. And there's no guarantee that sprites even exist in your world. We've yet to find a reality other than our own where computers have sprites in them."

And it's kind of a moot point anyway since zombies aren't known for their l33t gamer skillz.

[re_mybrains]

"You've been to a lot? Of other realities, I mean?"

[mendanddefend_archive]

"A few. And some of my friends here have been scanning people's computers for beings like us. We haven't had much luck so far."

[re_mybrains]

"Huh. Are there a lot of you, in your reality?"

[mendanddefend_archive]

"Millions," says Bob. "Every system is a city, and the programs in it are people."

[re_mybrains]

"Man. Can you move between 'em at all?"

[mendanddefend_archive]

"Can and do," confirms Bob. "But I usually just stay in Mainframe. It's not much, but it's home."

[re_mybrains]

He smiles, a little ruefully. "Yeah, I get that. How do you move between systems? The Internet? Floppy disk?"

[mendanddefend_archive]

"Either through the 'Net or through portals. Most people don't have access to the latter, though."

[re_mybrains]

"Portals? Those are, what, like file transfers?"

(The mun, having now been exposed to Bob's canon, apologizes for Tom's insistence on contextualizing all this. Particularly since any second now her own relative lack of computer knowledge is going to start showing.)

[mendanddefend_archive]

"I... have no idea how it translates into User terms," Bob admits. "But portals allow you to travel from one point to another instantaneously. No ports, no getting around firewalls, you're just there."

(This mun advises you not to worry about it, as ReBoot bears about as much resemblance to actual computer architecture as the Star Wars universe does to actual space travel.)

[re_mybrains]

"Fair enough." He shakes his head. "Man. Instantaneous travel. That must be nice."

[mendanddefend_archive]

"Sometimes it is," says Bob. "It's not so great if you're trying to keep people out."

[re_mybrains]

"--Point. Hadn't thought of it like that."

[mendanddefend_archive]

Bob nods. "That was kind of an issue back when Daemon was still active..."

[re_mybrains]

"That was the virus we were working on, right?"

[mendanddefend_archive]

"Yes." Bob looks down, lost in thought. "She needed to infect the entire 'Net to complete her function. That meant she needed somone who could make portals so that she could infect closed-off systems. She needed me. Called me her 'messenger.'"

[re_mybrains]

Tom winces. "Wow. Charming."

[mendanddefend_archive]

"No kidding."

[re_mybrains]

A pause.

"You know, all things considered, I think I'm glad I wasn't thinking about it in such -- personified terms? Like. More pressure, y'know?"

[mendanddefend_archive]

"I... I guess," says Bob dubiously. "It's still hard for me to think of programming as not being personified. I've been to a system without intelligent programs in it, and it was creepy."