milliways_bar | (no subject)

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Hurley sits at the bar, staring at the door back to the island.

Is he allowed to be just 'Hey guys, I found a magic bar in my cave, lets all go get a meal and a shower!'? Or... how does he explain how he suddenly seems to have showered?

Hurley suddenly realizes he has to keep 'magic bar in my cave' a secret.

And he's going to need to get dirty as soon as he gets back.

Which should probably be soon.

Since they might be worried about how long he's been gone.

Crap.

Hurley pouts and eats a leg of fried chicken. You know, for breakfast.

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"...oh crap, I'm dead," Hurley says.

No, you're not, says Death.

I know these things.

Hurley doesn't know what to say for a moment.

"So, like... you're him, then?"

I'm me, Death corrects.

Yes, he adds.

"...Does this mean I'm gonna die?" Hurley says, really hoping the answer is no.

You are going to die, Death confirms. This is because you are mortal.

Does he sound reassuring? He wants to sound reassuring.

"...soon?" Hurley says.

Soon in the grand scheme of things, Death says. Definitely within the next century.

Hurley pauses for a second.

"Dude, how are you talking?" he asks. "You don't have any lips."

You are sitting in a tavern at the end of the multiverse, eating the magically produced corpse of a chicken that was never alive, and talking to the Grim Reaper, and you want to know how I can talk?

Death will never understand humans.

I don't have vocal chords or lungs either.

"...my chicken was never alive?" Hurley says, pouting at his chicken, now.

It is still a chicken corpse, Death points out. All the physical components are there.

"So... like... Vegans could eat this chicken?" Hurley says.

No. It is, after all, still meat.

"But, like, guilt free," Hurley says. "Cause it was made with magic."

If guilt is what urges one to pursue a herbivorous diet, Death says thoughtfully. I never thought about it before.

"I don't really, either," Hurley says. "Mainly cause... I like chicken."

I like it in curry, Death offers.

Hurley pauses again.

"Dude, so... you eat?"

Sometimes.

"...you're gonna get peeved if I ask how, aren't you?" Hurley says.

I don't get peeved, Death remakrs. I don't have the glands.

Which isn't an answer.

"You really suck at giving direct answers, you know that?" Hurley says.

That was a direct answer to the question you asked.

Hurley nibbles at his chicken, thoughtfully.

"So is there a heaven? Cause... I'd guess you'd know, right?"