milliways_bar | (no subject)

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As usual, Ianto is sitting at the bar with a cup of coffee and his diary.

If one were to peek over his shoulder, one would see the words, "Today is my birthday" written at the top of today's page.

But one wouldn't do that, would one? It's terribly bad manners.

[tags of smallness: Maj. Evan Lorne, Billy Kaplan.]

[ooc: ~~Work-relate slowtime in effect.~~]

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"Well, good," Lorne says, grinning. "Hate to think I was imposing on your celebration."

"Yes, you and your cupcakes," Ianto says. "So imposing."

"Hey, you never know. Some people hate cupcakes."

Ianto makes a horrified face. "What's wrong with them?"

"Something very serious, no doubt," Lorne says with a Very Serious Face.

"Do cupcakes have violent tendencies?"

"Not that I know of. Why?"

"I'm trying to think of reasons why people would hate cupcakes, and the only thing I can think is that they were smacked around by them."

Beat.

"Joke."

"I figured, yeah," Lorne says, rolling his eyes.

"Actually, I was going to suggest some sort of traumatic experience too. Maybe they were buried under a pile of cupcakes as a child?"

"That would make sense. Nearly smothered by cupcakes . . . all that cakey goodness . . ."

"I'm sure it would cause deep-seated psychological issues," Lorne says, nodding sagely.

"It would have to be a lot of cupcakes, though," Ianto says thoughtfully. "To hold someone down. Or a very small child."

"It'd have to be a very small child to cause a trauma that deep, I'm thinking."

"True, true. Which now makes me wonder, how common is it for small children to be buried under cupcakes, for the dislike of cupcakes to be so common?"

Lorne shrugs. "I never said the dislike of cupcakes was common. I just said that there are people out there who don't like them. Somewhere. In the vastness of the multiverse."

Ianto frowns a little. "All right. New subject, then."

"Uh...okay." Lorne thinks for a moment. "So how old are you?"

"Twenty-three."

Just a baby, on the scale of things.

Lorne thinks so too.

"Damn," Lorne mutters. "Way to make a guy feel old."

"What? It's just my age."

"Yeah, I just...didn't realize you were so young."

Ianto sips his coffee. "Oh," he says quietly. "Yes, I suppose I am."

Edited 2008-08-20 00:14 (UTC)

"It's not a bad thing," Lorne says quickly. "Just...didn't realize it. There's nothing wrong with being young."

"I suppose it's good, that I don't come across as some kind of self-absorbed kid."

"Not at all," Lorne says. "You're...very mature for your age." He manages that with a very nearly straight face.