Gabriel Tam (
gabriel_tam) wrote in
milliways_bar2009-10-05 09:06 pm
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After receiving Simon's wave, Gabriel had immediately arranged with Mark to not only reschedule the previously-planned dinner engagement but also to clear the last meeting of the day from his calendar.
As a result, he's able to arrive at Milliways early.
(He's not worried. Not exactly. Still, requests like this from Simon are rare enough to make him wonder.)
Gabriel takes a seat in the armchair by the fireplace and requests a cup of coffee while he waits.
As a result, he's able to arrive at Milliways early.
(He's not worried. Not exactly. Still, requests like this from Simon are rare enough to make him wonder.)
Gabriel takes a seat in the armchair by the fireplace and requests a cup of coffee while he waits.
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"I have, though. Late last summer -- or was it early fall?" Gabriel frowns, thinking. "Anyway, whenever it was, it wasn't that bad, all things considered."
He shrugs.
"I'll admit it took me a few weeks to feel like myself again, which is longer than I'm used to, and Vincent and your mother both insisted I take all sorts of additional treatments and medications throughout, but really--"
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He stops. Makes himself stop. And breathe.
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There's something cautious about the way he says that, something that matches the concern that's visible as he looks at his son.
His next words make it clear that his alarm's not for himself.
"Simon. Ni meí shì bà?"
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And says: use that.
Quietly: "Have you ever heard of a Rim disease called the damp-lung?"
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"I can't say that I have, no."
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A long beat.
"It took me considerably longer."
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"... how much longer?"
Without waiting for an answer, he continues,
"You're all right now, though?"
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A beat.
"It turns out that the damp-lung is children's pneumonic bronchiolitis. Which I caught despite having been vaccinated as a child."
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"I wasn't aware vaccinations wore off."
His color is slowly returning, as the shock of hearing about his son's illness fades.
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A breath.
"Dad, do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"
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He meets Simon's gaze with a steady one of his own.
"Go ahead and say it," Gabriel says, quietly. "Let's have it clear."
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"I'm half your age and in very good physical condition, and I could have died." Quiet, and blunt. "Your own doctor's told you just how high the risk to your life is. He isn't exaggerating."
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Eventually, however, Gabriel's the one to break it.
"I know," he says, quietly.
"I've known for some time that since recovering from the attack, I've been at increased risk of ... certain complications."
Such as death.
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Simon looks profoundly unreassured.
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"But it's been two years, and frankly," he adds, looking slightly exasperated, "I think by now I'm aware of my own limits. I'll try not to push them too much, but what I'm planning is important."
A beat.
"It's very important, Simon. I want -- I need you to understand that."
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He's trying to tell himself that he's prepared for the answer to be yes.
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"Depends on who you ask, doesn't it?"
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"I'm asking you, Ba."
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"I know."
A pause. Gabriel takes a slow breath, then says,
"I don't want to die, Simon. I'm going to try very hard not to."
He holds his son's gaze as he adds, very quietly,
"But I will never, ever again fail someone who depends on me by turning away when it's in my power to do otherwise, no matter what the risk to myself may be."
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Swallows hard.
(In his head, very distantly: So that would be a yes, then.)
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"I'll talk with Vincent. Maybe there are some other precautions I can take. I'll do everything I can; I promise you that."
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His voice is very low, and pleading.
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A wry half-smile appears.
"Don't worry about me, Simon."
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"You do realize how futile it is to tell me that?" It's wry too, but at least somewhat serious.
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"So yes, I suppose I do."
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