milliways_bar | Happy Hour!

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Happy Hour!

There are many things Ned has yet to check off his proverbial Things To Do Before I Die list, and bartending at any sort of bar is one of them.

(But why not add a couple of extra points for uniqueness? Throw in a bar at the end of the universe, too.)

The Happy Hour specials are written in very precise, neat handwriting and reflect his day-job. It's hard to stray too far away from pie-making, it seems.

Tonight's Specials

Apple Pie in a Glass
American Pie
Mud Pie

He quickly gives the bartop a wipe-down, then turns to the bar space at large.

"Okay. What'll it be?"

[ooc: And the brains have officially decided they've had enough. Slowtimes for all, please! And thanks for tagging!]

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"I guess that's for the best? If they're beings that can only be found in black texts, that is," he says.

"True enough.

"Made my life thet much more difficult, though."

"Oh?"

"Well, most people aren't used ter some'un thet's nine feet tawll an' whatnot."

"... good point," he says.

"What about in your world?"

"Most people still dun't understand, an' the ones thet dew . . . that a little crazy."

"Ah."

So it's a bit of a lose-lose situation in some ways.

Ned makes a :\ face.

For everyone involved!

"Shame, I know."

"Well, there must be some upsides to being who and what you are," he says, opting to be - well, optimistic about it.

"I can understand advanced quantum physics, I know plenty o' spells, I can speak languages unknown tew man.

"And I can scare people. Trust me, bein' able tew make idjits run away is great."

He raises his eyebrows.

"All right," he says. "There you go. So it's not all bad."

He laughs. "I've had tew deal with way tew many fools en my life."

"A lot of people would say the same thing," he sympathizes.

But he never puts himself in that category.

Mostly because he doesn't feel he has the right to call anyone else a fool. He's simply not that sort of person.

"I'm nawt surprised."

"No, I guess it's not surprising. It's part of human nature to be judgmental."

"Et's alsew part o' human nature tew be foolish."

"I guess I can't really argue with you there," he says, though he still would not actually call any specific person a fool, himself.

Wilbur, on the other hand, is firmly of the opinion that willful stupidity is humanity's defining trait.

"Course nawt.

"Another American Pie, please? Thanks."

"Sure."

Ned, once more, sets to work, procuring another glass for Wilbur.

(And admittedly, he's pretty thankful to be doing something, as he hasn't got anything helpful to add to the 'people are idiots' subject.)

It is fairly self-explanatory, isn't it?

"Sew, whar're yew from then? Anywhar interestin'?"

"Not particularly," he responds. "Not unless you think small-town, cosy-city places are interesting. North Thrush is the name of it. Most people here, I noticed, have never heard of it before."

So he'll understand if it doesn't ring a bell.

"I'm from a small towen. Not thet cozy, though. More like spooky es Hell."

Ned doesn't find that particularly surprising, if he's going to be perfectly honest.

"Even by your standards?"

He laughs. "Nawt es much--but then I've gawt very high standards."

"I'm sure you must," he remarks.

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weirdwilbur.livejournal.com - 2009-12-22 23:38 (UTC) - Expand

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