The door opens on the sounds of screams and gunfire, the smell of smoke and explosives; Carmine Zuigiber, war reporter-at-large for the
Weekly World News, slinks through with the poise and
sang-froid of a supermodel on a runway, smiling to herself at a job well done.
"Excellent," she says crisply, smile broadening as she realises where she is. "I could
kill for a drink."
(Or, perhaps, ensure someone
else kills for a drink. Just so long as there's blood and alcohol.)
But when she gets to the bar, what she gets instead of a cocktail is a note from Bar. She doesn't argue (mainly because the possibilities involved here have previously occurred to her), instead removing a small gold lipstick bullet from an undisclosed location and using the reflection from a three-pint glass to freshen up her perfect lipstick while she considers her options.
That done, she uses the same lipstick to print the specials on the board:
SHOTS FIRED TONIGHT:
151 Ways To Die
Snakebite
Kamikaze
Four Horsemen
ANYONE WHO CAN OUTDRINK ME GETS ALL THEIR DRINKS FREENever let it be said that War doesn't have her rewards, after all. (Or that she's subtle.)
Job done, she perches on the bartop, crossing her incredible legs with the faint rasping noise of denim-on-denim that can, nonetheless, somehow be heard across the room, and
grins.
"Come and get 'em, boys!"
Or girls, of course. But she's always found her appeal is greater with the lads.