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[not-inkansas.livejournal.com]

There are a lot of things that Col. Miles Quaritch has gotten used to seeing on Pandora.  A non-exclusive list includes large animals grabbing his men and eating them; men suffering from all sorts of new and deadly poisonings from the native wildlife; tall blue creatures shooting arrows that can occasionally knock through bulletproof windows at just the right angle and speed; and all sorts of other things which we need not go into detail about here.

One thing he is not used to seeing is the Mess Hall transformed into a bar.  It might occasionally devolve into being a pigsty in his opinion (particularly if whomever has KP isn't on the ball or is looking for trouble), but a bar is...quite unexpected.  So as soon as Col. Quaritch comes through the door into a very unfamiliar room that is in place of a very familiar one, he draws his gun and reaches for his breather unit.

"What the hell sort of joke is this?"

(Tinytag: Miles Quaritch)

Comments

[hallelujahpilot]

Ohshit, goes Trudy Chacon's expression. She's off-duty, but still in her flightsuit, and, leaving her peach on the table, springs to her feet with a salute.

"Milliways, sir!"

...yeah, she's just going to hold that salute until he a) looks less likely he's going to shot something (like, say, her) and b) returns it.

(she probably hasn't done such a textbook-perfect salute since leaving the USMC, to be honest)

[not-inkansas.livejournal.com]

Quaritch takes a moment to process that response before returning the salute. It does, however, get returned in due course. You can bet your bottom dollar that it is not what he was expecting to hear.

"At ease, Chacon." He pauses for a moment further, considering that response. "Is this a hallucination? And if not...what, exactly, is 'Milliways'?"

The Colonel has a rather perplexed look on his face; it should be noted that his gun is still drawn and he is visibly on guard.

[hallelujahpilot]

Chacon clasps her hands behind her back, back still ramrod straight.

(and she was juuuuust getting used to being the only one from Hell's Gate here, too)

"Nosir, no hallucination. Unless we're both gone crazy, sir." Which may be a distinct possibility, given their posting. She quickly moves on. "It's a bar, sir, in some kind of time-and-space vortex. No time passes while we're here, and all kinds of different realities can walk through the front door.

And the first drink is free. Sir."

[not-inkansas.livejournal.com]

Quaritch looks at the door for a second, and then back to Trudy. "Time-space vortex?" He looks some combination of perplexed and frustrated. "Don't tell me some idiot from corporate came up with this." With the budget that RDA has and the amount of money they spend flying sips to and from Pandora...it wouldn't surprise him. "And...what do you mean by 'all sorts of realities'? You mean Augustine might get in here from whatever planet she lives on, too?"

[hallelujahpilot]

She's torn between smirking at his words and looking horrified at the thought of Augustine appearing.

"Oh, God, I hope not, sir."

Okay, maybe slightly more horrified than not.

"I mean, uh, there are folk from Earth here, sir, but it's an Earth from way back. Mostly from early twenty-first century. And other people who ain't never heard of Earth, except for here. People still in plate armour. That kinda thing."

[not-inkansas.livejournal.com]

Quaritch laughs. "Plate armor? You've gotta be kidding me. And...who's never heard of Earth?" The confusion and frustration have given way to amusement...and perhaps the suspicion that he's somehow been locked up in a nuthouse.

Which in some sense isn't as crazy as it sounds, considering...

[hallelujahpilot]

Laughter is good. He's not the kind of CO to laugh and then tear her a new one. Slowly, Chacon starts to relax. A bit, anyway.

"People from different universes. Or planets, maybe, not sure how it all works. They certainly never heard of Pandora before."

[morethanprops]

There's a certain timbre of voice that someone gets when they're used to being obeyed, Moist's grandfather had it and this man has it in spades.

So Moist tenses and completely drops all the playing cards in his hands and then he notices the gun.

He takes a few long breaths as he reminds himself that his grandfather is far away and this man is not him.

[not-inkansas.livejournal.com]

"Well?" Colonel Quaritch looks like he very much expects an answer. And for certain values of 'very much', extraction at gunpoint is probably not out of the question. "This was a mess hall this morning."

Nothing personal; he's just a bit on edge. You would be, too, if you just walked in from a planet where every living thing not from your home planet seemed to have you on the menu.

[morethanprops]

"Its Milliways."

At least he's able to keep the sir off, he's been traveling on his own for over a decade, this is foolish.

[not-inkansas.livejournal.com]

Quaritch blinks at that response. "What's that supposed to mean?" The word obviously means next to nothing to him.

[morethanprops]

"The Bar at the End of the Universe, sir. I don't know anything more than that."

Moist starts collecting his cards and winces at himself, he's better than this.

[not-inkansas.livejournal.com]

Quaritch doesn't look any less confused. He's got a lot of unanswered questions, but one does jump to the top. "So this is not a hallucination?" he asks, rather slowly.

[7twistedwishes]

The businesswoman looks up from her file folder and martini, perusing the newcomer. "None... this is not hell, and not a joke, dear."

[not-inkansas.livejournal.com]

"Then what is it?" a certainly irate Colonel asks. "There isn't a bar within four light years."

Do pardon him; he's new here.

[7twistedwishes]

"Oh, you are not within four light years of anything." She offers a nice, friendly smile. "Welcome to Milliways, the Bar at the End of the Universe. You stepped into a crack of reality and slipped out of it."

[not-inkansas.livejournal.com]

Quaritch looks at her like she's lost a few marbles. "You're sure this isn't some joke being played by the eggheads down the hall?" Or by the planet outside, he doesn't add.

[7twistedwishes]

The Devil grins... delighted so. She gets up, and offers a hand to the man. "Let me show you what I mean?"

[not-inkansas.livejournal.com]

Do understand...Quaritch is in a room that shouldn't exist on a planet full of plants and animals that want to kill every human being there. As such, he gestures for her to show him...but remains out of physical contact. "Go ahead."

He sure looks like he's not up for any jokes to be played on him.

[electro_kinetic]

"It's not a joke, it's a bar."

Being a relatively small-framed girl, Noriko is very easy to look over, extraordinary hair color aside. But she doesn't flinch at the gun or the man holding it; those she's seen a lot of lately.

[not-inkansas.livejournal.com]

Well, her odd hair color certainly makes Noriko stand out from the crowd. "Yeah, but there's not supposed to be a bar here. It's supposed to be a mess hall." Quaritch looks...rather not amused by the situation.

[electro_kinetic]

"Milliways likes to show up in weird places like that."

Nori still moves quickly and often, like she's afraid of someone getting too close to her if she stands in one place. "You're okay if you can still see the door you came in."

[not-inkansas.livejournal.com]

Quaritch looks back and finds that he does, in fact, see the door. This causes him to step over and glance back through it to find that yes, in fact, he can still see the hall he walked in from. "Does it do this often?" he asks.

[electro_kinetic]

"More often than not, least for me."

She blinks at him and peers around the door he's looking into.

[not-inkansas.livejournal.com]

Great. Just what I need. He's dealing with supply shortages at times, manpower shortages all the time, and now? A bar that randomly appears. "Great. Just great."