(no subject)

[calmhrtprevails]

The Bar produced an odd note today when Fawkes came up to return his latest book. He peered at it a while, then shrugged and made his way behind the bar. After some thought the specials sign went up:

Special Tonight:

Discuss philosophy, morality, or ethics with the Bartender
for five minutes
and your order is 50% off.

After a bit he added one more line:


No extra discount for extra discussion

"Bar's open," he rumbles, and settles back to see who's interested.

Comments

[whatsshakinpox]

The door opens, and in walks...hey wait a minute. Wasn't he already here? It's a semi-short alien with an oversized noggin and an advanced suit, currently putting away his latest blaster. He is heard to mutter the words "...must be around here somewhere..." before putting on a tag with the number '195' written on it, and hopping up to a chair. He does not see Fawkes yet.

[calmhrtprevails]

Hmm. Not any kind of creature Fawkes recognizes, but around here that doesn't mean very much. "Good evening!" the mutant calls out. "Can I help you?"

[whatsshakinpox]

"Yes, I- WAH!"

The alien turned, and Crypto-195 received the shock of his life and fell on the floor, for the moment. You could say that he was new here...and yet he wasn't, and...well...it's complicated. The point is, wow he did not expect to see that. He picked himself up and said, in his Jack Nicholson voice...

"No offense, but I'll pass on what you've been having."

[calmhrtprevails]

"None taken," says Fawkes. "You wouldn't react well to it anyway."

Crypto's got the Jack Nicholson voice. Fawkes just sounds like he ought to be screening calls for one of the Dukes of Hell.

[whatsshakinpox]

He got back up on his seat.

"No kiddin'. I can feel the radiation from here."

Namely, it was registering on his personal energy shield and his psychic senses.

"So what happened? Blisk? You don't have the spores, so..."

[calmhrtprevails]

"I don't know what Blisk is," says Fawkes after a moment of startled silence. "I was exposed to Forced Evolutionary Virus some time back, though. Is this kind of thing... common, among your people?"

[whatsshakinpox]

Blink. Okay, that's just...huh? Congratulations, you've confused him.

"Which part? And uhhh...what's this virus anyway? Never heard of it."

[calmhrtprevails]

"It's a virus developed by humans. Some kind of weapon, I think, or meant to produce super-soldiers of some sort," says Fawkes. "The way you spoke, I thought you were referring to a disease by its name."

[whatsshakinpox]

"Not exactly."

What? Another super soldier program? How many does that make now? They had to be dime-a-dozen at least. Still, it was not a disease he was referring to when he mentioned Blisk. Not an actual one.

"Blisk are alien beings, big ugly walking green crab things who like places with water. The live off of radiation and spread themselves with spores. It was a pain in the ass handling 'em on Earth, man. Now, they're all over the place!"

This version of Crypto did not live in a happy time.

[calmhrtprevails]

"Ah, I see," Fawkes murmurs. "While I've seen giant crab creatures that seem quite happy with radiation, they're called mirelurks, and they lay eggs. I doubt they're the same thing."

[whatsshakinpox]

"Ah, nope. They will infest other beings to transform them into their own. Doesn't sound like yours at all, unless they're REALLY good at hiding their ship on you...and planting fake eggs."

Nah, there wasn't any corralation between Mirelurks and Blisk. One look at this stocky errr...whatever he was...and Crypto could tell that he didn't come from his own universe.

"So, why's your place so rad-friendly?

[calmhrtprevails]

"Definitely not," says Fawkes. "I think someone would have said something."

At the question, he shrugs briefly. "A legacy of the past," he says. "There was an atomic war, two hundred years ago. My kind tend to be resistant to most radiation, so I ... tend to carry a heavier load than most."

[whatsshakinpox]

"I'm surprised the bar doesn't object."

Yeah, that is- Wait a sec...

"Two hundred years?!"

[forgottenmotley]

The Fool has only one question for the tender. "Why?"

[calmhrtprevails]

"Because I can't ask questions of a book," says Fawkes, in a voice that ... is pretty much the opposite of George Takei's.

[forgottenmotley]

"Yes you can," he says. He grins, bells ringing as he speaks.

[calmhrtprevails]

"Not if I want any kind of a meaningful answer," says Fawkes. "I would prefer to be able to discuss things, rather than let them echo around in my own head."

[forgottenmotley]

"And you think you can get meaningful answers from people?"

[calmhrtprevails]

"Perhaps," says Fawkes. "The only way to find out is to try."

[forgottenmotley]

"What will you try next if you don't get anything meaningful?" he asks.

[calmhrtprevails]

"Other people, I think," Fawkes says. "And then back to the books, most likely. While I'm here, anyway."

[forgottenmotley]

The Fool looks up into the air and then around himself and Fawkes and the rest of the bar. "Have you tried cats?"

[calmhrtprevails]

"I don't believe I've ever seen one," Fawkes says thoughtfully. "Are they much good at conversation?"

[forgottenmotley]

"They can be," the Fool says. Which is true, for a given value of conversation. "They're certainly very good at letting you know what they want."

Also true.

[calmhrtprevails]

"In that case," says Fawkes, "I shall look for one at the earliest opportunity. You have my thanks."