Returning post!

[scots_wolf]

[[From here]]

The door opens, and Urquhart and Moist come in, carrying several bags -- carpet bags, saddle bags, bags of coin, and a bucket of freshly caught fish.

Urquhart is wearing rough leather trousers, a billowy yellow silk shirt, and a huge double headed axe. He's got his arm around Moist, who is grinning like the cat who got not only one canary but a cageful.


Franz is jumping around them, barking cheerfully, happy to be with both his humans, and back in the place he knows best.

They are all in a very good mood.

Comments

[ostro_goth]

"That offended you, did it?" Teja says. "Why not just pay for the axe, and I shall leave?"

[morethanprops]

"No, you're boring me."

[scots_wolf]

That is when Urquhart returns from the kitchen, minus the fish, smelling slightly of baking, and carrying two glasses of the very best whisky.

"He's boring you?" he says, handing Moist his whisky. "What can I do to make him go away? Bare my bottom? Do you think the Goth will flee in horror?"

[morethanprops]

"Then he'd think you're vulgar and lecture you on that as well. He was bothering me about the axe that apparently he thinks we stole."

[scots_wolf]

"What a funny notion," Urquhart says. "We didn't steal that axe. Absolutely not. I borrowed it, with every intention to return it right about now. Seems he's already taken it back."

Teja shakes his head, and sighs. "I run a forge and accept commissions, and I forge weapons that are for sale," he says. "Why did you not think to just buy it, if you had need of it? For a presumably well-educated murderer, you are very stupid."

[morethanprops]

"Why buy it before using it? That would be a waste of money."

[ostro_goth]

"That is how it is done, silly boy," Teja says. "You buy a thing, you use it. Well, you do not -- you steal it, if you can. But I have caught you two with that axe, do not wish to know what you used it for, simply wish for my money, and then shall leave you alone."

Pause.

"And I most certainly do not wish to see any bared bottoms, at this point."

[morethanprops]

"How much would you charge for that axe?"

[ostro_goth]

Teja names his price; it is a very reasonable and solid price, perfectly fair, perhaps even a bargain for such a good axe.

[morethanprops]

Moist doesn't care that much about the axe. So he looks to Urquhart, he's the one who'd be using it.

[scots_wolf]

Urquhart reaches into his belt pouch, pulls out some coins, and thrusts them at Teja. "Keep the change!"

Teja looks at them, to check that they are actually at least as much as he demanded, then puts them into his own belt pouch.

"Thank you," he says. "Why did that take you so long? You could have been rid of me long ago. You are truly stupid."

Beat.

"Count, please do not damage these men's dog when you play with him; the poor animal should not be punished for the idiocy of his owners."

The cat, however, is fast asleep on Franz' paws.

Teja shrugs, and walks away.

"Huh," Urquhart says, sitting. "That was odd."

[morethanprops]

"Yes, he kept trying to make me buy the axe. It was tiresome."

[scots_wolf]

"Now I have it," Urquhart says, leaning it against the back of the sofa. "But why did he need to make such a production out of it? Silly Goth. He should get laid more."

[morethanprops]

"Because he can and doesn't know how to simply let anything go."

[scots_wolf]

"I wonder if he has problems reaching the pinnacle of pleasure because he can't let his self-control or his seed go," Urquhart says, deadpan.

He sips his whisky.

"To Goths going away!" he declares.

[morethanprops]

"And staying away,"

Moist clinks his glass and smiles, this is far nicer than discussing things with the Goth.

[scots_wolf]

Urquhart takes another sip of his drink, and relaxes with a sigh.

"It was a grand adventure, though!" he says. "Can you imagine how hard it was for me not to laugh when I'd sliced up the old lady's knitting, and she was going frantic over that? But who ever thought of attacking a big menacing barbarian with knitting??"

[morethanprops]

"I didn't expect her to do that. I thought when we came out that she was going to grab the poker."

[scots_wolf]

"Poor lady," Urquhart says. "It was hilarious, in hindsight. After all, I didn't want to damage her, just scare them."

[morethanprops]

"It was very effective. I enjoy the barbarian side of you."

[scots_wolf]

"Well, we can use it again," Urquhart says. "I got to keep the axe, and we are keeping the horse."

The disguise is effective, and the way Moist is turned on by it is somehow---

Sweet.

And a turn-on in turn.

[morethanprops]

"Yes, its good to have resources stored up. That horse is a great find."

[scots_wolf]

"Oh yes," Urquhart says. "He is very clever and cooperative. He'll eventually need a name, too."

[morethanprops]

"I'm sure you'll think of a good one."

[scots_wolf]

"When I kept a horse long enough to name it, I tended to give it a name in Arabic," Urquhart says. "But you probably have other ways of naming horses in your world."