milliways_bar | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

There's a chill in the air and snow on the ground, putting a certain Welshman into the mood for a particular flavor.

TONIGHT'S SPECIALS
Apple Pie Martini
Apple Cider Martini
Hot Spiced Cider

COFFEE
ANY WAY YOU LIKE IT

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

At the appearance of a tender Karkat moves his keyboard-hammering party to the bar. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU COOKING BACK THERE THAT SMELLS SO AMAZING?" he demands.

"Er. Apple cider?"

Unfortunately, he can't ALL CAPS.

It is a gift that takes time to develop, and the technique may render your voice permanently dark-grey. "OKAY, I DON'T KNOW WHY I BOTHERED TO ASK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS. CAN I HAVE SOME?"

"Of course, that's what I'm here for."

He fetches a mug of spiced cider, still hot enough to steam. "It's made from apples. You don't have apples where you come from?"

"NO. IT LOOKS LIKE IT IS MADE FROM MUSCLEBEAST PISS." He's drank worse things. "BUT IT SMELLS AMAZING."

"I don't know what that is, and I suspect I don't want to."

He's pleased it smells good, anyway. It should.

"CORRECT," he says, sipping from the mug. It is wonderful, and warms his sore hands at the same time. "HOLY FUCK THAT IS GOOD. I THINK IT IS WAKING UP SOME KIND OF APPETITE. I HAVE BEEN SLAMMING OUT THIS SCREENPLAY ALL DAY AND I THINK I AM ACTUALLY STARVING."

"There's also muffins," Ianto suggests. "They're not made from musclebeast."

"THAT WOULD TAKE SOME KIND... PSYCHOTIC EXTREME BAKER, TO ACCOMPLISH," he muses. "I WILL TRY THEM, I GUESS."

Ianto produces the basket of muffins, in all the usual variations: blueberry, chocolate chip, banana nut, poppyseed.

Karkat begins to tear into them indiscriminately.

(He has a surprising amount of table manners, really, for anything with hair and horns and fingernails like that.)

The banana nut begin to draw his fire more specifically as time goes by; his palate is honing in on protein.

Ianto watches this, with the same interest as someone watching a documentary about leopards and gazelles.

Karkat accepts this kind of attention as his due as a superior life form. When the muffins have solidified the hollow place in the middle of him he wipes his mouth and pushes the basket back; now he has a big pile of wrappers he is not sure if he should eat or not.

"Wow," says Ianto as he gathers up the wrappers. "One is usually enough for the average person."

He gets a tea towel to sweep up the crumbs.

"I AM NOT THE AVERAGE PERSON," he says, having decided to take it as a compliment. "AND I HAVEN'T EATEN YET TONIGHT."

"No, you're definitely not." Not unkindly. He's been in Milliways long enough not to be freaked out by all the things that are also people.

He picks his mug back up and glances back at the spindly-legged mobile laptop, balefully. He makes a clicking noise sucking at his teeth. "I AM TRYING TO WRITE A SCENE SET IN AN ALIEN MARKETPLACE. WHAT KIND OF SHOPS WOULD BE APPROPRIATE FOR A HUMAN WORLD? OUTDOOR STALLS AND TABLES, GOOD FOR A ROMANTIC SPOT OR A COMBAT SET PEICE."

He is thinking about a muffin stall, but that is just the last thing he saw working on him.

"Hm...a coffee shop, a book shop sometimes has bookcases set up outside, restaurants..."

"HMM. OKAY." He glares at the screen some more. "I DON'T REALLY HAVE VERY MUCH WORKED OUT ABOUT THIS PLANET, IT IS JUST THE LOCATION WHERE THE SNATCH HAPPENS. I GUESS I WAS IMAGINING IT MORE RUSTIC THAN THAT."

He doesn't sound bothered, just... thoughtful. "IT IS WEIRD HOW SOMETHING MADE UP YOU HAVE NOT CONSCIOUSLY SAT DOWN MADE UP CAN ALREADY HAVE CHARACTERISTICS IN YOUR HEAD."

It takes Ianto a moment to untangle that. "I think imagination will readily fill in the gaps."

"I AM NOT VERY USED TO USING MY IMAGINATION," he allows. "BUT IT SEEMS LIKE IT HAS BEEN GETTING IN AND WORKING ON THINGS BEFORE I THINK OF THEM, EVEN."

"When you're writing, that's supposed to happen, I understand." He waves his fingers in the general vicinity of his brain. "The subconscious doing the heavy lifting."

"PRETTY CREEPY," he says, which despite the sound of it is probably his way of agreeing. "BUT THERE PROBABLY ISN'T ANY REASON IT CAN'T BE A RELATIVELY MODERN PLANET THAT GETS CRASHED."

"I HAVE SEEN SOME OUTDOOR SHOPS SELLING COFFEE IN HUMAN MOVIES BEFORE."

"That is not made up," says Ianto with a nod. "It actually happens."

"IT SEEMS REALLY UNUSUAL AND EXOTIC TO ME, I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT. IT MIGHT WORK FOR THIS SCENE."

"It's quite ordinary on Earth.

"What sort of place are you from?"

"IT WAS CALLED ALTERNIA, IT IS WHERE ALL OUR YOUNG ARE RAISED. THERE ARE NO ADULTS THERE, JUST KIDS AND THEIR SPECIALLY-BRED CUSTODIANS."

"EVERYONE JUST KIND OF DID THEIR OWN THING, I GUESS SOMEONE MIGHT HAVE SET UP A SHOP LIKE THAT, BUT IT SEEMS DANGEROUS. IT WOULD BE RISKY TO HAVE THAT MANY TROLLS IN ONE PLACE AT ONCE, REGULARLY, WITHOUT SOMEONE IN CHARGE."

...many, many things to process there.

He goes with, "Yes, there would need to be someone in charge. To make the coffee and order the inventory and so on."

"YEAH, WELL, I MEAN SOMEONE IN CHARGE TO KEEP THE PEACE, PECKING ORDERWISE. ON A SHIP YOU MIGHT HAVE A LOT OF ADULTS CRAMMED IN TOGETHER BUT THERE IS A CHAIN OF COMMAND. A BIG BALL OF ANARCHY LIKE THIS WOULD BE A POWDERKEG WAITING TO EXPLODE WITH TROLLS." He waves a hand at the crowded bar.

"There's a pecking order here, too."

Mikey told him about it once.

"It's just less obvious here than most places."

"I HAVE HEARD ABOUT THE SECURITY HERE, THEY MUST BE CAPABLE OF SOME SERIOUS SHIT TO HANDLE THE KIND OF PEOPLE WHO COME HERE."

"I wouldn't cross them, no."

Says the guy who looks about as dangerous as an abacus.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only