milliways_bar | (no subject)

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Two Men in Black come walking through the Door, and for once it's the taller one who looks cranky:

"Another one? What do you mean, 'They made another one?'"

"Like I said," the rounder one growls. "They made another one."

"It's been ten years! How the hell could they make another one?"

"Easy. They piled up a stack of cold, hard cash, and threw it at everybody in sight."

"Huh," K ponders. "Did they get everyone back?"

Zed shrugs. "Everybody who matters."

"Those two are even older than we are! Are you telling me they built a movie around those two gray-haired--."

"--Balding--."

"--Wheezing, decrepit--. Hell, my guy's got to be older than dirt by now."

Zed gives K a long look. "Let me buy ya a drink. Then I got to tell you something...."

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Ray watches the whole thing before sucking a long, hissing breath between his teeth. "Well," he says. "That's just prime, isn't it."

K sighs and glances at Zed. "You know if we'd deported Barry Sonnenfeld after that last one, like I asked you to, we wouldn't be having this problem."

"What do you want from me?" Zed growls. "He was a refugee. The Imperatrix of Bulbus II pulled the arms and legs off the last guy who did a profile about her. So Sonnenfeld goes and does an expose about that weekend fling she had with Neeble. Even *I* didn't want to see what woulda happened to him if I shipped his ass back there."

"I'll take your word for it," Ray says. "I have enough trouble following the politics of three species and five machine intelligences back home. I don't suppose there's a chance this one will flop at the box office and sink from sight?"

K shakes his head. "Memorial day opening. Might sink like a stone, but we'll have five months of heavy promotion before that happens."

He nods to Zed. "Better give the Liberty Torch another test flash next week."

"Ugh. My sympathies," Ray says. "I'd say 'it could be worse', but then I'd have to establish exactly how."

Zed frowns. "Hang on. 'Machine intelligences.' Don't tell me the Transformers are freeloading off your planet?"

"Those guys are worse than a brother-in-law with a gambling habit and fifteen girlfriends."

"No, four of them are human-built," Ray says. "Two from Knight Industries, one in India running most of the Sriharikota Launch Program, and one in Alaska doing environmental monitoring. The fifth is Ecto, and she's only half Cybertronian."

"Never mind him," K thumbs at Zed. "He probably thinks Optimus Prime owes him fifty bucks too."

"No," Zed shakes his head. "He pays up. It's Fury and that damn Time Lord who're the cheap sonsabitches."

K waves him off. "How is the old girl these days?" he asks, apparently meaning Ecto.

"Doing pretty well, actually," Ray says, opting to stay as far away from anything to do with gambling Time Lords as possible. "The SEC keeps trying to offer her a job in the auditing division. They've been keeping track of her investments and figure anybody who's capable of avoiding breaking all of their regulations at the rate she trades probably knows the law better than any of them ever will. She's turned them down several times, but they keep coming back."

"Don't tell me you guys are actually keeping up with your rent," Zed rumbles.

"Maybe you oughta have her buy the EPA," K adds with a good-natured smirk.

"We're managing," Ray says. "Ecto's been investing her allowance- mostly in alternative energy research and promising technology companies. She's got a vested interest in there being something useful to run engines after the oil runs out. Peter just thinks she's trying to lull the EPA into a false sense of security."

Zed grunts. "I'd put Agent B on it--have him come up with an alternate energy power plant--but whatever that maniac came up with would probably put her into orbit the first time she engaged it."

"...Yeah," K adds. "I think we'd all like to avoid that."

"Don't think I don't appreciate the thought, but I think Ecto wants to do this the hard way," Ray says. "Especially since if the people she's backing come up with something workable, it means she'll be raking in a percentage of the profits once it gets brought to market. She plans for the long term."

"You're telling me she's working on a plan that could make Venkman rich?" Zed asks. "You ever consider what that guy would do if he had serious cash?"

K shudders.

"Ecto's a United States citizen with her own Social Security number and fiscal identity," Ray says. "The money she's investing is her allowance. Any profit that comes out of the alternative energy research is legally hers. Venkman doesn't see dime one unless she decides to give it to him."

Both Men in Black heave sighs of relief.

"I need another drink," Zed growls, and Bar obliges.

K still has plenty of his drink left, but he nods in agreement with the chief and takes a long sip. That was a close one.

"Say, what time's it back on your Earth? You make it through Hallowe'en all right?"

"Mid-December," Ray says. "We pulled through this year. Things got horrific during the Dias de los Muertas, but New York City's still standing and functional, which is more or less what counts."

"Damn right," Zed agrees. "If you've still got Five Boroughs the end of the day, then that's a win."

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