milliways_bar | (no subject)

Tye comes downstairs. He does not look particularly happy when he sees Asar-Suti.

Asar-Suti, still a bit caught up with the dragon and generally associating Tye with pleasant things only, waves to him, smiling happily.

"Hello, Tye!" he calls out; the bar is fairly quiet, and he doesn't have to shout at all for Tye to hear him.

Tye walks over, less than cheerfully.

"We need to talk, Asar-Suti."

Asar-Suti looks up at Tye with a suddenly very sinking feeling.

The harper seems very serious. Is this about Lochiel, or about the Aidan-and-Tye mentioning, or something else entirely?

"Do we?" Asar-Suti says stupidly. "Can I offer you something to drink depite it?"

He puts down his book and makes ready to listen, rather apprehensive.

"No thank you."

Tye sits down and sighs. "I'm not particularly happy with you right now, I think you should know."

"I fear I can see that from your face," Asar-Suti says. "And I probably deserve it."

He looks at Tye apprehensively, hoping Tye will tell him right away. If he has to name his transgression himself, there is always half a chance he will name the wrong one that Tye probably didn't even know about.

"Two reasons. First of all, it's in no way your business to tell anyone about the relationship between Aidan and myself. Whether or not we keep it a secret is our business, and just because we don't feel we should go out of our way to hide what we feel for each other does not give you the right to tell people we're lovers. You have no idea what our relationship is, and no right to insinuate to people that neither of us has even spoken to that we're sleeping together. What we have is for us to name, and for us to tell who we wish to tell when we wish to tell them. Not you.

"Secondly, and I know you're going to argue with me on this, it's not right for you to be telling all and sundry that you and Lochiel were lovers. It implies things that he'd rather people didn't think about him, and it makes him uncomfortable knowing that you're doing it."

Asar-Suti winces - that second one was unexpected.

"About the first one, I am really sorry. Lochiel said something to that effect already. I'm not going to do it again, all right? It's just that I - that I like and admire you two a lot and saw no point in --- but it's of course yours to say. Of course."

He then looks up at Tye. "As for the second point, we were - at least that is the best way that people can understand what we were. I know it was totally different to what others might think 'being lovers' entails, but still..."

He tries to look serious and collected. This is not really Tye's business, any more than Aidan-and-Tye are his own?

"You have an odd way of showing that you like and admire us, spreading our private business around like that."

Clearly, Tye is very displeased about this.

"As to the second point - Lochiel does not see it that way. He and I talk a lot, which you probably don't know, and I know a lot about him, the way he thinks. He sees what you two had as the relationship between a god and his disciple, not lovers. That word entails equality, to him. Not to mention the fact that he might not be entirely comfortable with half the bar knowing that you used to have sex with him, or did you not think of that? Not that you seem to be thinking of anyone but yourself."

It is Tye's business, because Lochiel has become a very good friend, and when Lochiel is upset, Aidan gets upset.

"Did he ask you to tell me so?"

Asar-Suti feels rather betrayed; having Lochiel send somebody whom the former Dark God admits to respecting and listening to in order to administer this large dose of pain is truly hurtful. In addition to the sudden shame of suddenly realising that Lochiel has told Tye everything, and that the harper now must rather personally resent him.

"And no - that is my business as well, and mine to talk about, really. But if it only makes him angrier at me, I will of course stop that as well. After all, there are enough things to live down already before we can make up in any way. Because I'm not just thinking of myself - I think of him, and how he can heal best!"

"No, he didn't ask me. He'd never ask anyone to do something like that. And clearly you're not thinking of him, if you think that talking about it will help him at all! Gods, how would you like it if he went around telling everyone that he spoke to that you'd raped him while he was alive? You're being so bloody obtuse, you can't even see that telling everyone you meet how much you love and miss him and how you're so upset that he doesn't love you back is hurting him!"

"But that's the truth! That's how I feel! That is what brought me here, basically, and that's why I---"

Why I exist in the way that I do? What was it that Meg had said.

"Is hurting him? But - but - but I have changed so much so he might like me again and---"

He is going about this all wrong, Asar-Suti knows.

"Please don't yell at me, I'm very sorry and very, very confused and it hurts like my netherworld never did," he finishes lamely.

Unfortunately, all that has rather annoyed Tye.

"Gods, get it through your head, he never loved you like that! You were his god, he respected you and aye, he loved you, but in the way any disciple loves his god! Do you think he wants to be the sole reason for your being here?"

Asar-Suti almost visibly winces away from Tye's anger.

"I know what we were! You were never there, and he will hardly tell you the good parts now, will he? And I know that we will have to be something else here if we are to be anything at all - because we are equal here now! And he is the reason for my being here, because I love him! My love for him has changed very far from what it was back home, when I was a god and he my main disciple, my most brilliant and brightest, and my best beloved - but I feel it in here, it is real! I wouldn't say any of this now, though, if you hadn't asked me. I can wait, you know. Decades, if I have to."

Asar-Suti almost shouts with pleading. It is never a good idea to start yelling at somebody who's already angry at you, but then, Asar-Suti doesn't really have all that much experience at fighting with people he really likes.

Tye shakes his head and stands up.

"He doesn't want you to wait, Asar-Suti. He doesn't want that with you anymore. It's best if you get that into your head as soon as possible."

"He wanted it back home - at least the version that we had back home, and then he changed his mind. Who says he's not going to change his mind again? What kind of lover would I be if I gave up that easily?"

He stands as well and looks into Tye's face. "Would you just give up and go away if Aidan said he didn't love you any more?"

The moment it's out of his mouth he realises that it was totally the wrong question.

Tye's eyes go hard and cold.

"I have nothing more to say to you, Asar-Suti. Just remember that Lochiel is important to Aidan, and both of them are important to me. Do not hurt them again."

He turns to leave, and says one last thing over his shoulder.

"People change here. He's changed, for the better. Don't you dare jeopardise his healing."

"I wont - I wont! I won't do anything, just wait and do nothing. You hate me now, do you?"

He sinks back into his chair, almost trembling. The idea of Aidan and Tye hating him is surprisingly unpleasant. And to think how everything he had achieved went so totally down the drain within a single week.

"I don't hate you. I'm very angry with you, especially with your gods-damned obtuseness, but I don't hate you."

Yet, he thinks but doesn't say. And goes back upstairs.

Asar-Suti looks after Tye and feels very unhappy and desponedent at having 'pissed off one of the little bouncy ones' after all. And here he was, hoping Aidan and Tye might become friends with him...

He pulls up his legs, puts his arms around his knees, drops his head on them and starts crying his eyes out with general regret, despondency and a good deal of self-pity.

Luckily, the bar is rather empty and the chair faces the fire, away from the room.