milliways_bar | (no subject)

(no subject)

Asar-Suti comes downstairs and sits in his usual chair by the fire, with his usual coffee pot and mug. And his usual book.

He reads about the cunningness of dragon.

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"But that's the truth! That's how I feel! That is what brought me here, basically, and that's why I---"

Why I exist in the way that I do? What was it that Meg had said.

"Is hurting him? But - but - but I have changed so much so he might like me again and---"

He is going about this all wrong, Asar-Suti knows.

"Please don't yell at me, I'm very sorry and very, very confused and it hurts like my netherworld never did," he finishes lamely.

Unfortunately, all that has rather annoyed Tye.

"Gods, get it through your head, he never loved you like that! You were his god, he respected you and aye, he loved you, but in the way any disciple loves his god! Do you think he wants to be the sole reason for your being here?"

Asar-Suti almost visibly winces away from Tye's anger.

"I know what we were! You were never there, and he will hardly tell you the good parts now, will he? And I know that we will have to be something else here if we are to be anything at all - because we are equal here now! And he is the reason for my being here, because I love him! My love for him has changed very far from what it was back home, when I was a god and he my main disciple, my most brilliant and brightest, and my best beloved - but I feel it in here, it is real! I wouldn't say any of this now, though, if you hadn't asked me. I can wait, you know. Decades, if I have to."

Asar-Suti almost shouts with pleading. It is never a good idea to start yelling at somebody who's already angry at you, but then, Asar-Suti doesn't really have all that much experience at fighting with people he really likes.

Tye shakes his head and stands up.

"He doesn't want you to wait, Asar-Suti. He doesn't want that with you anymore. It's best if you get that into your head as soon as possible."

"He wanted it back home - at least the version that we had back home, and then he changed his mind. Who says he's not going to change his mind again? What kind of lover would I be if I gave up that easily?"

He stands as well and looks into Tye's face. "Would you just give up and go away if Aidan said he didn't love you any more?"

The moment it's out of his mouth he realises that it was totally the wrong question.

Tye's eyes go hard and cold.

"I have nothing more to say to you, Asar-Suti. Just remember that Lochiel is important to Aidan, and both of them are important to me. Do not hurt them again."

He turns to leave, and says one last thing over his shoulder.

"People change here. He's changed, for the better. Don't you dare jeopardise his healing."

"I wont - I wont! I won't do anything, just wait and do nothing. You hate me now, do you?"

He sinks back into his chair, almost trembling. The idea of Aidan and Tye hating him is surprisingly unpleasant. And to think how everything he had achieved went so totally down the drain within a single week.

"I don't hate you. I'm very angry with you, especially with your gods-damned obtuseness, but I don't hate you."

Yet, he thinks but doesn't say. And goes back upstairs.

Asar-Suti looks after Tye and feels very unhappy and desponedent at having 'pissed off one of the little bouncy ones' after all. And here he was, hoping Aidan and Tye might become friends with him...

He pulls up his legs, puts his arms around his knees, drops his head on them and starts crying his eyes out with general regret, despondency and a good deal of self-pity.

Luckily, the bar is rather empty and the chair faces the fire, away from the room.

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