Happy Hour!

[evil_koala_626]

Many things pass with time. Financial debt, it would seem, is not one of them. The Landlord is, among a great many other things, apparently a patient soul but the children's fund can only stretch so far for one patron. Particularly when said patron isn't a child. Green houses don't come cheap, y'know and it would seem that furniture, crockery, cutlery and various kitchen appliances don't either.

Stitch peers with polite bemusement at the bill that has materialized beside his PB&J. This goes on for several moments. The paper is replaced with a small, white apron and a pointedly worded napkin.

"Naga takabah!" cries Stitch. "Stitch not-!"

The text swirls before congealing in to a new message.

Oh. Well then...


Have an alien in an apron perched on a stool on the serving side of the bar!

Specials

Good luck deciphering what the specials actually are given the alphabet they've been written in.

Comments

[balancingminds]

Charles is usually fairly good at languages, telepathy helps but he has no idea where to begin with the specials, "What language is that?"

The bartender does seem to fit the specials by being unusual and having a mind that he finds difficult to begin comprehending. He wishes to understand but doesn't immediately see connections like he normally does.

[evil_koala_626]

Stitch, who is in midst of drawing a large handle bar mustache on a photo of himself he's discovered behind the bar looks up at the question.

Charles is treated to a head-tilt as the bartender stuffles industriously in his general direction.

"Tantalog."



Oh, right.

"heh-ha-Hiiiiiiieeeeeeee."

[balancingminds]

"Where does it originate? Hello. Could I get a cup of tea?"

He's going to need his head clear for this conversation if the photo being vandalized is any hint. Though he does recall X thinking of this person so he must be fairly safe.

[evil_koala_626]

'Safe'. Oh, Charles. You're so cute.

Stitch's eyes narrow in thought.

"Kweltikwan?" Maybe? It's not something Stitch has ever given much thought.

On the man's request for tea, Stitch's eyes narrow further.

"Eh..eh..." A claw is raised. Just a moment, please.

Without waiting for a reply, the creature hops off his stool and begins bustling about behind the bar.

[balancingminds]

Charles positions himself so he can watch what Stitch is doing, his thoughts are not as helpful as they could be.

[evil_koala_626]

There's not too much to watch; Stitch scales the back counter, selects a mug, pours a fresh cup from the coffee machine and patters back to the stool.

The mug is set down in front of Charles.

Enjoy!

[balancingminds]

It looks like coffee was poured and Charles takes a sip, its good coffee, "I'm terribly sorry, but this is coffee. Tea is the one that's from a tea bag or tea leaves."

He gestures to the shelves of tea mixed in with the liquor.

[evil_koala_626]

Charles is getting a look.

"Naga. Is coffee." Who drinks tea when there's coffee on hand?

The mug is snatched out of Charles hands amidst some unintelligible grumbling.

It is returned in short order, its contents exactly the same with the small addition of a cheerful cocktail umbrella. There you go, Picky McPickerson-face!

[balancingminds]

He eyes the umbrella, takes it out and puts it into the lapel of his coat,

"Why can't I have tea?"

[evil_koala_626]

Stitch facepalms. There's no helping some people.

You know what? Fine.

The coffee cup is once again swiped off the bar top, pointedly downed in one long swig and tossed over the alien's shoulder.

Shortly afterward Charles will be presented with a paper cup of hot water. A Lipton's teabag is tossed up next to it almost as an afterthought.


There! And when you see him, tell that Earl Grey guy to shove it up his English Breakfast!

[balancingminds]

At Stitch's last thoughts, Charles laughs as he eyes the cup,

"Would a large tip help? I do like coffee."

[evil_koala_626]

Who the what now?

"IH!"

Stitch likes money!



It is entirely possible that the prospect of money has temporarily forced the reason he needs said money out of his head.

[balancingminds]

Charles rubs his forehead, he might end up going with a Scotch after this and pulls out his wallet,

"I've got a five and some twenties."

[evil_koala_626]

"Okay!"

Hope you've got some quick reflexes, Chuck. He's going for your wallet.

[balancingminds]

It's less reflexes and more seeing Stitch's plan that has Charles pocketing his wallet and taking two steps back.

Stitch gets a five, "Now tea, please."

[cutting_edgex23]

"Stitch," X says, slipping into a seat at the bar.

"[You are working.]"

Being able to speak Tantalog apparently helps. Somewhat.

"[It is okay?]"

[evil_koala_626]

"Aloha!" replies the alien with a sly grin. He's on to you, X. Your scheme has been foiled.

At her question it's all forgoten in favor of ranting about pieces of paper and money and how it's not his fault and how much of a stupidhead Bar is. Eventually he gets around to how interesting it is back here. It will all be dilivered in his customary machine gun fire of enthusiastic jibberish.

"You okay?"

[cutting_edgex23]

"Yes," X offers, after carefully listening to all of Stitch's complaints.

"I am okay."

Beat.

"You can make a root beer float? For me."

This pause is a little longer.

"Without a mess."

[evil_koala_626]

"Ih!"

Stitch clambers off his stool and disappears from view for a moment before reappearing with an ice cream carton cradled in one arm. In His other hand he bears a bottle of A&W and in his other other hand he clutches an ice cream scoop and a straw.

All of this is dumped the bar's surface before he hauls himself up as well.

[cutting_edgex23]

"Purple is better," X offers, cautiously reaching out to pick up the curly straw.

"For a straw."

Just so Stitch knows.

[basic_powers]

...Tyler is just going to get this over with, he can't read that language, and he's hungry.

"...Iiii...don't understand the language the specials are written in." He says, standing up to the counter. "But would it be possible for me to get an order of chili-cheese fries, some japanese cucumber pickles, and a lime n' raspberry Mad Dog Smoothie, please?"

At least he's paying up front?

[evil_koala_626]

That sounds delicious.

"Okie daka!"


And belatedly

"heh-Hiiiiiieeeeeeeee."

Hi, kid who frequents the bar and whose scent trail has been all over the rafters for forever whose name escapes him!

[basic_powers]

"...Hi Stitch, it's been a while since we had a belching contest."

Hello furry alien creature who is NEVER, NEVER to meet Tyler's pet mouthful of angry teeth named Winston.

[evil_koala_626]

"Ih! Iki baba!"

This clearly needs to remedied now. Right now.

Two fountain glasses are hastily extracted. Sodas are retrieved. Pop rocks are added! THE BLENDER IS ACTIVATED!!







And the smoothie promptly erupts, spewing sugary goodness in all directions. It seems that in his excitement Stitch decided to forgo "The blender is covered".




"WHAAAAAARGARHBL!"

[basic_powers]

This? Right here? This is nothing new, when everything went into the blender without a cover Tyler pulled his jacket over his head as a splatter shield.

One does not survive three years of super-powered food fights without developing SOME kind of reflexes.

"Blender off! Cover on, THEN start."

[evil_koala_626]

Stitch flails blindly at the blender until, by sheer luck, a claw manages to hit the 'OFF' button. He blinks, wide eyed, silent and completely soaked.

After a few seconds Stitch smacks his lips a few times.

Hmm.


The remaining contents of the blender are poured in to a fountain glass and thumped on to the counter before Tyler.

[basic_powers]

"...Thanks," Tyler grins, easing out from the soaked jacket to grab the fountain glass.

"Almost afraid about what you're gonna do about the chili cheese fries and the japanese cucumber pickles."

...Almost. Stitch isn't likely, to y'know. EAT TYLER is he?

[evil_koala_626]

That would depend entirely on the percentage of Tyler that is made of cake.

As to the rest, that's easily solved. Stitch raises one finger in a silent request for patience.


"HEY!! " This is directed to an unfortunate waitrat who just so happened to be scurrying between tables. "Portaka gee iska! Maka maka!"

The rat flattens it's ears and chatters back in indignation, gesturing towards a recently filled booth.

Stitch gestures emphatically towards Tyler.

The rat glares before heaving a gusty sigh and heading back towards the kitchens.


There you go, Tyler! Problem solved!

[basic_powers]

Fooooood, not all that wise to belch on an empty stomach.

Hopefully the order won't come with a bit of irritate waiter fur in it.

"How come you're tending bar?"

[bring_a_sponge]

A certain Man in Black is bellying up to the Bar (which is saying something).

He might also be muttering something that sounds suspiciously like, "Abaga goopta chini braga."



["Well, this is gonna be a ####ing disaster."]

[evil_koala_626]

"Yu Porma dissy!" Stitch fires back.

These ears aren't for decoration, Zed.

[bring_a_sponge]

"DOOKA PORMA AFEEGA, YOU LITTLE CHOOTA!"Zed roars.



["You leave my mother out of this, you little--(well, it's not a very nice word)!"]

[evil_koala_626]

The alien waggles his eyebrows.

Oh he missed you, Zed. You're fun!

"Thirsty?"

When Stitch grins from ear to ear, it's no mean feat.

[bring_a_sponge]

See this?

This would be Zed's skeptical face.


"...Why?"

[evil_koala_626]

"Bar is sleeping! Is my Milliways! Stitch special!"

[bring_a_sponge]

Zed's heard a lot of alarming things in his life, but that wins by one hell of a stretch.

"Oh, you're special all right."

He lurches to his feet. "And if you think I'm leaving you in charge of this dump, you're out of your goddamn, fiendish little mind!"

[evil_koala_626]

There are those who would have let Zed get all the way through that threat without interjecting.

Stitch opens fire with the soft drink dispenser somewhere around "Little."

"TOOKIBAWABA!"

[bring_a_sponge]

SPLOOOOSHHH!!!

Yup. Right in the kisser.

Zed would be roaring in fury, but he's too busy spluttering and gasping and flailing about. Until he manages to catch a breath and--

--Launches himself over the bar at Stitch.


It's a very impressive sight, all that mass in motion.

Probably not going to end well, though.

[evil_koala_626]

For a split second, Stitch peers upwards at the oncoming rage train with eyes as round as dinner plates. Zed's awfully spry for a guy his size.

The momentary surprise costs valuable dodging time. Stitch throws his hands out, catching Zed's bulk and transferring the momentum behind it in to propel the MiB agent in the direction of the shelves and shelves of alcohol behind them.

[bring_a_sponge]

NO STOPS ON THE RAGETRAIN, WOO WOOOO!!


There is a Bar-rattling CRASH!!, followed by an impressively long avalanche of shattering, smashing glassware.

Tinkle, tinkle....

But wait! Now an arm jabbing out from under the big pile and grabbing Stitch around the neck!

Cue evil Zed laugh. "Gotcha!"

[evil_koala_626]

Stitch squawks in alarm.

And then retaliates by licking Zed square on the face.



Ew, that beard tastes awful.

[bring_a_sponge]

"Mmmrrawaawyayayhhhah!!" Zed wails in horror and dismay.

(Zed's pronunciation is excellent, but you really don't want to know what that means in Shyriiwook.)


The Man in Black is also recoiling but he's a little late in letting go as his arm whips around....

WARNING!! WARNING!! FLYING STITCH ALERT!!

[cutting_edgex23]

Fortunately X and Stitch have a long history of friendship and mayhem. This was, in some small part, why she was moving toward the noise rather than away.

Even if she were not on Security . . .

Anyway. The flash of blue fur in the air has X turning to face it even before it impacts with her sternum. This way she is well-positioned enough to grab Stitch by his scruff even as his momentum knocks her back and sideways.

Good thing an upright barstool was there for her to catch herself against.

"Stitch."

She looks down for a fleeting second, then back up.

"Zed."

Beat.

"It would be better to stop. Now."

[evil_koala_626]

"Eeeeeeaaaaaaa-OOMPH!"

Stitch's scream is cut short on impact as he collides with...someone. Someone who smells of cordite and root beer and cats and blood.

"Not doing nothing!" exclaims Stitch despite all evidence to the contrary. It's like a reflex.

[bring_a_sponge]

Zed and Stitch have been building up quite a chronicle of carnage themselves.

Right now, though, he's just heaving himself back on his feet and dusting off what sounds like several pounds worth of broken glass. (Of course, the Suit is as pristine as ever.)

"X. Thank the Danoob Celestials. For a second there I thought the Big Bastard'd finally gone off His rocker and left him in charge."


It's Milliways, after all. Crazier things have hap--no, wait. No, they haven't.

[cutting_edgex23]

X does not sigh.

At either of them.

"I do not know the Danoob Celestials."

Beat.

"They will help you both clean up? The mess."

This is accompanied by a very direct look, first at Stitch, then at Zed.

She is not planning on negotiating.

[evil_koala_626]

"Gaba?! Oongatish mista! Gaba ika ta-"

It's around this point that Stitch's indignant swinging twirls him to an angle where X's stare is actually visible.

...


He'll get the broom. But he won't like it!

[bring_a_sponge]

He's not getting the broom.

But, ok, fine. He'll get a rag and start mopping up.


grumble, grumble

[cutting_edgex23]

X will supervise.

And by supervise, she means make sure Stitch and Zed do not start fighting.






Again.

She will probably also dispose of the trash. Unless Stitch wants to eat it.