milliways_bar | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

A scientific experiment of the highest order is in progress. One which includes raspberry fudge, brie and crackers, and several different wines. Autor plans to get tipsy today, and he'll do it in style.

He'll also do it with help. Autor endures light ribbing by Sunshine, who has promised to stay with him and make sure he doesn't do anything foolish while even slightly inebriated--a serious concern of his, especially with a sprained ankle. She's keeping to tea today, just in case.

Autor raises a glass, his cheeks already tingling. He swirls the wine, as he has seen done before. Then he holds it up to his nose and takes a deep breath. "Ah, yes. This clean, buttery wine has a heady bouquet with oak notes, and a spicy aroma of vanilla and currant," he says, and takes a sip. "Sadly, it is broad--it has a full body aroma, but lacks any finesse to its taste."

Rae grins, sipping her tea. "Try harder not to sound like you memorized the book, Autor."

[OOC: Two pups, two muns! All threads will come after Rae and Autor's, when the boy is already tipsy.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Rae, are you corrupting this young man?" Jay grins teasingly, stealing a cracker.

"Oh, my gosh, you totally just stole my cracker," Autor says, and can barely get through the sentence without cracking up. "It's absolutely positively completely not Rae's fault this time, Jay."

His grin is horrible. "I bet you thought I was gonna say it was, huh? But nope, it's not, it's mine this time, and she's just the friend who's going to keep me from being a total ass. Right, Rae?"

"Hey, don't give the game away!" she grins at Jay, scooting out a chair in an invitation to join them. "I am absolutely not corrupting this fine, upstanding young man, and am only here for moral support and making sure he doesn't make an absolute fool of himself while he's, ah, 'tipsy.'"

Because those calculations Autor did regarding body weight and alcohol intake were totally bogus and she knows it.

Jay laughs and joins them. "And she appears to be doing a wonderful job at it."

"So, what has this experiment entailed? Other than some rather nice crackers."

"Wine," Autor says, sighing. "Delicious wine. And some whining, too, I think, but I don't exactly remember. It's just fun to say. Whine. Heh heh."

Autor hobbles over to Jay and slings a friendly arm across his shoulders. "Rae, did you know that this jerk can become invisible? I swear. He totally can."

"Far more wine than whine, amazingly, though one does lead to the other," Rae grins at them. "And tea, cheese and crackers, and muffins, all of which you're also welcome to."

"Invisible?" That makes her pause, grinning. "Gods, you think you know someone, and then you find out they can turn invisible. I'm terribly jealous."

She can't even manage a simple illusion.

"I've never been much of a wine drinker, no matter how much I can whine." Jay chuckles and steals another cracker.

He shrugs, making a play of trying to seem modest. "Mostly invisible, anyway. Enough to creep up on this one, anyway." He teases.

Autor snugs him. "Hey, it's not easy to creep up on me, okay? I am the ninja master, and can almost turn invisible myself by turning sideways. Because. I'm so skinny. Get it?"

His snickerfit is horrible. "But no, Rae, he has a special suit and a palm top computer and I bet it has the paint program and all sorts of different fonts!"

"I'm sure it has all the fonts, Autor," Rae assures him, dissolving into giggles again at her drink-addled friend. "All of them. He could write anything in them."

"I'm just terribly outclassed here, with all these potentially invisible, sneaky antics. I'll have to get you both drunk and feed Autor until he's no longer so terribly skinny, just to give me an edge in the competition," Rae says, offering Jay one of the pumpkin muffins with a grin. "Something to drink, Jay?"

"All the fonts. In all the colours." Jay chuckles, wondering how many Rae's had

"Hey! What are you being all modest about?" He pokes his tongue out at Rae. "I have bruises to prove you can hold your own!" The pumpkin muffins muffin is gratefully received. "I could go a beer."

"All of them?" Autor says, eyes widening, and voice dropping to a whisper. "Really? What on earth would you do with all of them? And can you really keep them all in one place? That's... That is nine kinds of messed up."

Then he rounds on Rae. "Why'd you give him bruises?" he demands, furrowing his brow. "Jay is a nice person who sneaks up on other people for fun."

Rae grins wryly, leaning in to hug the drunken scholar. "We were sparring, that's all. I normally don't bruise my friends."

"It's important to have all those fonts when he's out being sneaky, Autor," Rae says, grinning at the writer as she lets him go from the hug, her arm still around his shoulders. "That way, Jay is never out of sorts."

Because there is no wrong time for typesetting puns.

"You need good fonts when you're dealing with powerful person like Rae. Without the fonts, I'd be powerless."

Autor blinks at her. Twice. And then he cracks up. He laughs himself into a dizzy fit. "Ohhh my gosh, that is the best--Jay, did you know that Rae is a genius? She totally is."

He wraps his arms around her. "I wanna be as smart as you someday, okay? So stand still, and let me catch up to you."

Jay, however, arrests his attention. "What? What? The fonts are the source of your powers? How--but--that makes absolutely no sense. None, whatsoever. Does your suit have fonts added to it?"

Rae orders Jay a good beer from a passing waitrat, and another pot of tea for herself. She may have only had tea, this evening, but Autor's drunken delight is still rather contagious.

"You can't just whip out some comic sans and think it'll do any good, you know," Rae chuckles, turning to grin at Jay. "I knew I should have brought some white-out or an eraser at least to our sparring match. So many fonts can be overwhelming."

How do you choose, for one thing?

"How do you know that's not how I make myself invisible? By changing my fonts to match the background. And neither of you has ever seen me whip out my Bold Gothic."

"Why are you telling us all of your secrets? Not like I don't appreciate it, but damn, sir, you might not have anything left and pretty soon I'll learn how to change fonts, too, and replicate the effect and oh, my gosh, that is the best idea--Rae! We need to write that down!" Autor babbles, clenching his hands into fists at the shock of his realization.

"Quick, Autor! Your notes!" she says with a grin as she offers him the sheet with his preliminary experiment notes, and a pen.

This is far too entertaining.

"Ah but who said I'm sharing all my secrets? You know nothing of the terrible battle verbs, or the nouns of power. It's not just the fonts on their own."

"Rae, you are the best. The best," Autor declares. He scribbles something unintelligible and turns to Jay, pen poised.

"Ooooh. Please tell me, Jay," Autor says. "You can absolutely trust me; I won't tell anyone. I'm so good at keeping secrets. Like how I actually don't know how old I am because I spent over a decade reliving the same day."

Then he wrinkles his nose. "You know what's a terrible battle verb? Undulating. It has two 'u's and is generally a skeevy word."

"He did say that without fonts, he'd be powerless," Rae stage-whispers to Autor. "This may be a feint.... Which is a very good battle noun. For battling."

Rae can't help but play along, grinning.

"Though, if you want a terrible noun of power to go with that battle verb, it would have to be ululation."

Skeevy for all the same reasons.

"There are lots of powerfully skeevy words." Jay grins, dropping his voice low as he leans in. "Licentious, voluptuous." He rolls his voice into a purr. "Satyric."

He's being a terrible tease but he wants to make Autor blush.

It works. "Shiva wept, Jay," the boy whispers, blushing up a storm. "Those words are terrible, and you should be positively ashamed of yourself. Also your voice is doing a funny thing which is making my cheeks warm and you should stop that, too."

He rubs said cheeks, scrubbing them pinker. "And Rae! You would join his side? But he's a cad!"

"It's all the S's and U's. Salacious," she opines, nodding sagely. "Salubrious. Sanguinity."

Jay ruffles Autor's hair, "I know, I'm a terrible cad but it's so much fun."