milliways_bar | (no subject)

CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board MAGICAL MYSTERY BAR VIRTUAL BULLETIN BOARD

CCG: BEEN A WHILE SINCE I OPENED ONE OF THESE
CCG: LOTS OF NEW USERS
CCG: THE WAY THIS WORKS IS KIND OF A FREE FOR ALL GROUP DISCUSSION
CCG: PLEASE NOTE THAT FOR EVERYONE'S SAKE I HAVE EXCLUDED OUR PAST AND FUTURE SELVES FROM CONTRIBUTING TO THE DISCUSSION
CCG: SO THE 'CURRENT' STUFF IS MORE OR LESS VESTIGIAL AT THIS POINT
CCG: NONETHELESS....
CCG: LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT, LET'S TALK ABOUT OUR PAST AND FUTURE SELVES
CCG: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THEM?
CCG: DO YOU EVER BLAME YOUR PAST SELF FOR YOUR CURRENT PREDICAMENTS?
CCG: OR MAKE DECISIONS IN THE PRESENT WITH THE INTENTION OF LEAVING THE PROBLEM UP TO YOUR FUTURE SELF?
CCG: IF YOU COULD TALK TO YOUR PAST OR FUTURE SELF WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?
CCG: NOT DUMB TIMELINE GAMES, I'M TALKING ABOUT PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS HERE
CCG: INSULTS, APOLOGIES, QUESTIONS, SHARING JOKES?
CCG: WHATEVER
CCG: ALTERNATE SELVES FROM CHOICES NOT MADE ARE ALSO FAIR GAME

[ooc: In and out through the day; feel free to tag in & talk among yourselves even if I'm not around!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

CCG: SOUNDS LEGIT, THIS CHECKS OUT
CCG: THESE ARE ALL PRETTY ORDINARY CIRCUMSTANCES ONCE YOU START FUCKING ABOUT IN THE TIME STREAM
CCG: ECTOBIOLOGY, DOOMED COPIES, FORKED TIMELINES, IDENTITY SPLINTERS, GHOSTS POSSESSING ROBOTS, MAGIC RINGS BRINGING BITCHES BACK FROM THE DEAD, JOHN FUCKING EGBERT
CCG: TIME TRAVEL: NOT EVEN ONCE

Edited 2016-05-30 03:04 (UTC)

CWW: Sometimes it just happens without my input, man. Like mold. Or straight to video sequels. Or karaoke!
CWW: Also this guy was unfortunately my BFF for a while, so it's not like I had a choice. Love me, love my time-traveling half cyborg bestie with a big gun and a messiah complex.
CWW: And I don't mean the 13 issue miniseries.

CCG: GOD, FRIENDS ARE THE FUCKING WORST THAT WAY
CCG: THIS GUY EGBERT
CCG: I COULD SHIT A MILE OF RAGESNAKE TO CHOKE HIM TO DEATH WITH
CCG: HE INVENTED A WHOLE NEW FORM OF TIME TRAVEL SPECIFICALLY TO INTERRUPT THE CLIMAX OF MY ENTIRE PERSONAL ARC

Edited 2016-05-30 03:24 (UTC)

CWW: That's rough, buddy.
CWW: Don't get me wrong, your turns of phrase are pure art, by all means continue. I only get to say stuff like that in the MAX series and rated R movies.
CWW: But why can't you just have another narrative climax?
CWW: You seem like you'd be a natural at 'Man vs. Himself'.

CCG: THAT NEVER WORKS, YOU NEVER WIN BOTH SIDES OF THAT
CCG: AND THEN LATER YOU HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN FROM THE OTHER SIDE, WHICH IS FUCKING EXHAUSTING
CCG: I JUST DECIDED TO REJECT THE 'RETCON' AND GET KICKED OFF THE MAIN TIMELINE
CCG: LIKE AN UNOFFICIAL VERSION OF MYSELF
CCG: THERE IS ANOTHER DOPE OUT THERE STILL WAITING FOR HIS CHANCE I GUESS
CCG: BUT BASED ON MY PAST EXPERIENCE I AM GOING TO CALL IT RIGHT NOW, HIS VICTORY IS GOING TO BE LANDING A PURELY SYMBOLIC BLOW AND / OR DEFEATING SOME KIND OF FOURTH TIER OPPONENT
CCG: LIKE SLAM DUNKING A GNOME OR PIXIE ALIGNED WITH THE FORCES OF DARKNESS BUT TOO CUTE TO ACTUALLY ROOT AGAINST

CWW: All I'm saying is, I've gotten retconned so much I literally don't remember which version of my past is actually true! No one does! Am I from Canada? Maybe!
CWW: Did I volunteer for mad science experiments? Probably! Am I a good guy or a bad guy? Depends on what day of the week it is!
CWW: But you can't let the editor get you down.
CWW: (Picture me throwing a supportive arm around your shoulders, here.)
CWW: You've got fans out there, man. Don't disappoint them! Someday Liefeld will stop drawing your feet like they are leaves. You won't have as many pouches. Your brain might be made of Swiss cheese, but you'll still have friends, and access to a lot of high explosives.
CWW: Get out there and carpe that diem!

Edited 2016-05-30 03:43 (UTC)

CCG: OKAY I FEEL LIKE ONE OF US JUST FELL NUB OVER SEEDFLAP OFF THE SENSE-MAKING SCUTTLELINKAGE
CCG: BUT SO MUCH OF THE REST OF WHAT YOU'RE SAYING SOUNDS RELEVANT THAT I'M WILLING TO CONSIDER THAT IT'S ME

Edited 2016-05-30 03:48 (UTC)

CWW: I get that a lot.
CWW: Except the part about me saying relevant things.
CWW: But that's the spirit! I've known alternate versions of myself to be pretty cool. Maybe Ryan Renoylds will take the starring role in your biopic someday.
CWW: But until then, wax on, wax off. I sense a training montage in your future, Daniel-san.

CCG: OH HOLY FUCK, HOW GOOD WAS HE IN THAT MOVIE WHERE HE HAD TO PRETEND TO BE MATESPRITS WITH HUMAN SANDRA BULLOCK TO BAMBOOZLE THE VERGEWARDENS?
CCG: THAT WAS MY SHIT

Edited 2016-05-30 04:12 (UTC)

CWW: It would have been better with Bea Arthur, but Betty White was pretty good.
CWW: And Sandra Bullock is always a human ray of comedic sunshine.

CCG: OH MAN, THE ONE WHERE SHE IS IN DISGUISE AS A PULCHRITUDE GLADIATOR
CcG: OR WITH HER PALE ROMANCE WITH THE DERANGED LADY CRIME ENFORCER
CCG: OH OH
CCG: THE ONE WHERE SHE DECEIVES THE ENTIRE FAMILY OF A CRITICALLY INJURED MAN AND YET *SOMEHOW* COMES OUT SMELLING LIKE CRAPWEEDS???

Edited 2016-05-30 12:13 (UTC)

CWW: That one always seemed kind of sketchy to me.
CWW: If you're going to insert yourself creepily into someone's life, you might as well just go full kidnapping. It's more honest.
CWW: Wait, pulchritude? Are you talking about Miss Congeniality?
CWW: How many dictionaries did you swallow?

CCG: THESE ARE THE HONEST, NORMAL WORDS OF A SEASONING OF THE DIRT GUY
CCG: WHERE A HIGHBLOOD WOULD PITHILY SPIT NOISE ABOUT A 'TABLE' OR A 'SINK' I PREFER THE SIMPLE 'NUTRITION PLATEAU' OR 'ABLUTION CATARACT'.
CCG: BUT APPARENTLY HUMAN CASTE SYSTEMS DON'T WORK THAT WAY

CWW: Never mind, it's hilarious. Please continue. Tell me another one! What do you call an ironing board?

CCG: TROLLS DON'T HAVE FUCKING IRONING BOARDS
CCG: OR IF WE DO I STALWARTLY REFUSE TO BE AWARE OF THEM
CCG: WHY SHOULDN'T YOUR CLOTHES HAVE WRINKLES IN THEM? THEY'RE MADE OF FABRIC
CCG: IF YOU DON'T WANT THEM TO HAVE WRINKLES THEN MAKE THEM OUT OF A MORE DURABLE MATERIAL
CCG: BUT IF YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO MOVE FLEXIBLY AND FREELY, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE WRINKLES BECAUSE A WRINKLE IS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS WHEN A THING BENDS
CCG: AND IF YOU THOUGHT I COULDN'T GET PISSED OFF ABOUT IRONING BOARDS, BUDDY, YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER GODDAMN THING COMING.
CCG: I AM LIKE THE TROLL MICHAEL JORDAN OF BEING A SON OF A BITCH

CWW: My outfit consists entirely of spandex, leather and body armor, so as far as I'm concerned, ironing boards happen to other people.
CWW: How about...basketball?

CCG: WHICH ONE IS BASKETBALL?
CCG: IS IT THE ONE WITH THE RING AND THE MANDATORY DANCE BREAK?
CCG: I SAW THAT ONE IN TRAINWRECK
CCG: I GOTTA SAY, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY ALL THE OTHER DRIBBLESMITHS DON'T JUST TACKLE THE GUY WITH THE BALL
CCG: SEEMS LIKE A MISSED OPPORTUNITY
CCG: OR LIKE HOIST ONE OF THEIR NUMBER UP TO PROTECT THE RING AS A RING MONITOR
CCG: THESE ARE JUST LIKE BASIC IMPROVEMENTS I CAN SEE IMMEDIATELY, I'M NOT EVEN AN EXPERT

Edited 2016-05-31 00:00 (UTC)

CWW: Maybe you should check out Space Jam.
CWW: It's the crowning achievement of basketball movies.