(no subject)

[yinyangwizard]

The elves, Seimei has decided, have become something of a problem.

He has observed that destroying them only makes the problem worse, so he is trying a different approach.

That's why he's setting up a small Shinto shrine in a booth. The housing of the shrine looks like one of those dioramas you put a miniature Nativity scene in. It's adorned with miniature Christmas decorations, including tinsel, lights, and even a doll-sized tree with ornaments and little presents underneath.

(This whole thing makes him feel ridiculous and even a little physically sick, but he feels obligated to do what he can, and this is all he can think of at the moment.)

Seimei rather solemnly offers a gingerbread cookie and some eggnog at the shrine. He steps back, bows twice, claps twice, and then bows again.

This has no immediate effect that he can discern. Perhaps he should try a different offering.

Comments

[herr_bookman]

Autor's been observing Seimei since he started setting up the shrine, and now the boy's curiosity drives him to approach. "Seimei-san? What on earth are you doing?"

[yinyangwizard]

"Nothing useful, apparently." Seimei sighs. Then, remembering his manners, he turns to Autor and bows. "I apologize, Autor-san. I did not mean to be rude, but I am not at all sure how to deal with these elves, and it is all very frustrating."

[herr_bookman]

"Ah, you were trying to make the elves go away?" Autor says, nodding his approval. "I don't blame you. They are a nuisance. I wish I knew how to make them disappear, but alas, all I know is that if you're naughty, more show up."

[yinyangwizard]

Seimei nods. "That is why destroying them or attempting to banish them is out of the question. So I am trying to propitiate them - or the entity they represent - instead."

He's not having much luck, though.

[herr_bookman]

"Well, I think they represent Father Christmas, so a shrine isn't the best way to go about pleasing him," Autor says, tilting his head as he gazes at the mini-Christmas scene. "You did well in trying. I'm sorry it didn't work. Maybe we can try something else?"

[yinyangwizard]

"I am open to suggestions, Autor-san."

Seimei is not sure how best to propitiate Father Christmas - or his servants.

[herr_bookman]

Autor rubs the back of his head. "Unfortunately, I have no ideas. Maybe a different offering at the shrine would work. I've already sent a note to Father Christmas asking him what the point to all of this is, so I suppose we'll just have to wait on a response."

[yinyangwizard]

"If you hear back from the august Father Christmas, please let me know," Seimei says. "Although...I am not sure that these elves have anything to do with him, or at least the particular version of him that visits Milliways."

If Father Christmas is responsible for the elves, one hopes he will not make a habit of this sort of thing.

[herr_bookman]

"What makes you unsure?" Autor says, furrowing his brow. "These are Christmas elves after all. Aren't they?"

[yinyangwizard]

"Yes, but there is no guarantee that they are Father Christmas' elves," Seimei says. "There are many different universes out there, and probably many different versions of Father Christmas and his servants."

[herr_bookman]

"All right, that's a fair point," Autor says, shaking his head. "If they have nothing to do with him, he might not know why they're here. So we're back to square one. Should we ask Bar?"

[yinyangwizard]

Seimei casts a sidelong glance in Bar's direction. "She could probably tell us where they come from and how to get rid of them. Whether she will is another matter entirely."

He has not had good luck with asking Bar questions about magic. Or rather, with her answering them.

[herr_bookman]

Autor lifts one stiff shoulder in a half-shrug. "We can always try it," he says, walking over to the bar. "Hey, Bar, do you mind letting us know why the elves are here and how to get rid of them?"

A napkin appears. It says, No dice.

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric comes down the stairs, a long fur coat wrapped around himself. He looks better than he did the last time they spoke. His eyes less shadowed, his face less gaunt. He still looks tired and cold but more together.

"Seimei?"

[yinyangwizard]

Seimei looks up. "Ah, Sinric-san! I am glad to see you are looking better." It certainly cheers him up.

[thewidewideworld]

"That I am, my dear friend. Although the manner of it might be considered cheating by some."

He kneels down with something like his old grace. "May I ask what you're doing?"

[yinyangwizard]

"Cheating is fine, as long as you are not selling your soul or hurting anyone," Seimei says. "As for myself, I am trying to propitiate these elf dolls that are infesting the bar, so that they will go away. Or at least stop making more of themselves." Seimei frowns at his ridiculous little shrine. "I am not really making any progress on that front."

[thewidewideworld]

"No harm but fleetingly to myself. And no debt that could cost me later." He assures, picking up one of the elves. He touches it gently, smoothing the little red tunic with a hum. "They seem quite sweet to me. Are they causing so very much trouble?"

He sets it down with care, arranging the little hat to look it's best.

A moment later, that one is gone.

[yinyangwizard]

Seimei blinks. "Hm. You have just accomplished by accident what I have tried and failed to do on purpose."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric looks confused. "I'm not certain what I did."

[yinyangwizard]

"You satisfied the spirit of the elf doll, and then it went away."

Seimei looks around the bar, at other elf dolls sitting on tables and chairs.

"I have been going about this all wrong, I think."

[thewidewideworld]

"By admiring it's manner of dress?" He asks, still confused.

[yinyangwizard]

"Perhaps. Or straightening it up a bit. I have noticed that if someone is disrespectful to them, or in front of them, then another one appears. If someone destroys one, as I have seen certain frustrated individuals do, it results in four more appearing."

Wilford made quite a lot of new ones with his sniper rifle spree last week.

[thewidewideworld]

"Perhaps by showing them respect and courtesy, they are appeased?"

He selects one of the many elves and bows to it, speaking formal words of welcome and respect he learned in the Sinese court.

[yinyangwizard]

After a moment's pause, the elf doll disappears.

"Aha! I think I understand now," Seimei says. "Thank you, Sinric-san. This is a most fortunate discovery!"