Happy Hour

[cottoncandypink]

Wilford is not riding out the tail end of a bad trip when he comes in today. Nor is he attempting to drown half the bar. But he did make an awfully big mess the last time he was in, so instead of the lunch he came in for today, he gets a napkin telling him to work off the costs of the clean-up instead.

All right then. If that's how things are going to be.

SPECIALS

Green Stuff
This Blue Shit
Whatever the Fuck That Thing Is

The bottles are all helpfully laid out on the bar, with their weird labels and contents that look varying degrees of radioactive. Or you can order off the specials menu, if you don't feel like potentially getting killed today.

[ooc: Open until the next Happy Hour post. Thread hopping encouraged.]

Comments

[wild_blueyonder]

HARK, A COMMOTION ABOVE!

Suddenly a big blue man falls... out of thin air, apparently, because even though he lands with assorted debris that includes ceiling tiles, dust, and a lovely overhead light globe there is no hole in the roof overhead to mark his entry.

Regardless, the pair of bar stools that cushion his fall are splintered to pieces, but the man in blue rises with no apparent injury.

"Whoopsi-doodle," says the man as he picks himself up off the floor.

Brushing himself off he turns to the bartender and asks, "Did you happen to catch the number on that cab?"

[cottoncandypink]

Huh. Well, that was new. Wilford looks up at the ceiling, though he's not really sure what he expects to see up there. Nor is he sure he should have expected anything, really.

"Uh, yeah. I think it was I-D-one-zero-T," he says, turning his attention to the debris now scattered on the floor.

He's not cleaning that up.

[wild_blueyonder]

"GREAT! Would you dial that for me? I need a ride to the pet store," he requests, looking down at the debris then swiping it aside with his foot so that he can pull up another stool and have a seat.

"I have a record player I need to return."

[cottoncandypink]

Wilford looks around, slowly and deliberately, at the bar around them. Does this guy not realise where he is?

"No can do, pal. You'll have to go back where you came from for that."

Idiot may not have been too far from the mark.

[wild_blueyonder]

"Ah, back where I came from... " the Tick repeats, going into a lull of deep thought.

His antennae droop and his expression goes blank before suddenly he snaps to again.

"So chum, while we wait on that cab how about a drink? I dig the hue of that blue-aid there." He points at one of the bottles and smiles.

[cottoncandypink]

Well, here's hoping this stuff isn't actually as bad as the bottle of green, even though it does steam ominously when Wilford pours it into a shot glass.

"You insured?" he asks as he slides the glass over.

[wild_blueyonder]

The Tick waits anxiously, making 'gimme hands' while watching Wilford pour and slide the glass over.

"Pretty." Lifting the glass he stares at it, enamored.

[cottoncandypink]

Wilford quickly caps off the bottle, before the fumes start making everyone sick.

"I wouldn't look at it too long. You might go blind," Wilford says helpfully.

He has no basis for this assumption, other than the fact that when he opened the bottle to initially check it out, the smell alone nearly knocked him on his ass.

[wild_blueyonder]

"It's so tiny," he coos at the shot glass, petting it a moment before finally tossing it back.

Smacking his lips, he grins, "Spicy."

Wait for it...

Cue panic. The Tick's expression and antennae switch to alarm and there is a great deal of flailing from the big dude in blue.

"Ew, EW, EW!"

Frantically he searches for something to wash that last drink down with, and what he seizes and starts to chug is the bottle of green.

[cottoncandypink]

Wilford... just takes a step back. A big step back, because he really should have seen this coming. He doesn't know why he didn't.

There are a few bottles of water behind the bar, and while he watches the man in blue chug the green stuff, he puts one of the bottles down for him.

"You all right, pal?" he asks.

[wild_blueyonder]

The bottle empties in seconds, and the Tick lowers it from his mouth with an 'AHHHH'.

"Groovy," he replies, giving Wilford a thumbs up.

For a moment all is swell and then, thumb still head up, the big blue bug of justice tips backwards and goes down, landing with a loud THUD!

[cottoncandypink]

"Fuck."

Wilford still hasn't figured out what he's supposed to do when this happens. Because it still surprises him when people actually take the stuff he puts on the bar.

So it's a very confused journalist standing behind the bar right now, looking around to see if there's some kind of instruction manual or something to tell him what to do in the event some idiot poisons themselves with the stuff behind the bar.

He comes up with nothing at all, so it's Plan B: He fills a pint glass with tap water and splashes it over the bar onto the giant bug man.

[wild_blueyonder]

The Tick awakens with a start and a sputtered, "WOAH YEAH!"

Springing back to his feet Tick bellies up to the bar once more, laying a forearm on the counter and leaning in close.

"If you don't mind, chum, I think I'll pass on the enchilada sauce."

[cottoncandypink]

"If you plan on dying, you want to do it on your side of the door?" Wilford requests. "Doing time for murder would put a crimp in my plans."

He moves the bottles away from the bug man, just in case he forgets that it's probably not actually for drinking.

[wild_blueyonder]

"Ho-ho! No plans as of yet, but I'll add it to the ol' To-Do sometime list," Tick promises.

"So, my fine bartenderly-man, anything you recommend?"

[cottoncandypink]

Well, that's good to hear. Wilford's done a good job at avoiding security lately, and he'd like to keep it that way for a while longer.

"A few things, yeah. What's your preference?"

There are a few drinks he tends to gravitate towards, but if this guy's more of a juice box with a straw kind of person, he might not like them.

[wild_blueyonder]

"Penguins!" he declares. "But I like the little guys, those emperors are so stuffy and rude."

[cottoncandypink]

Wilford blinks, completely unable to follow this non-sequitur.

"To drink," he says.

[wild_blueyonder]

"Oh, why didn't you say so?" he says with a tsk. "Blue stuff. The bluer the better."

He rests his forearms on the counter, drumming with his fingers expectantly.

"Barring that, the good stuff. Orange soda, if you please."

[cottoncandypink]

Wilford gives him a very brief glare which hopefully conveys just how thin the ice Mr Bug Man is skating on right now, before turning to find something blue. He finds something suitable in one of the fridges, and plonks it down on the bar.

"So what's the deal with the bug suit?" he asks, not sure if he really wants to know.

[wild_blueyonder]

Tick meets that glare with a cheerful, unawares smile.

His face lights up when he sees the drink, and proving he's learned nothing from the last few minutes he lifts the bottle and chugs it straight down.

He needs the hydration, though, as he's about to get to introductions.

"Bug suit? Why chum, I am the star-crossed voyager of virtue, the stalwart starman of all that is good, righteous and just. My might is dedicated to that cosmic calling of crime fighting. I am, The Tick!"

He ends with his voice raised and while striking a heroic pose.