milliways_bar | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Jim has been rather enjoying spending weeks being moody and depressed in his suite, mainly because Sherlock's up there to make sure he's not actually all that moody and depressed. Bloody boyfriends, and their way of making life better. Jim would grump about that if he weren't pleased by it.

He's only in the bar now because his favourite distraction is asleep and anyway, they need food. Jim puts in a large order and, on a whim, asks for a current newspaper from their world. Bar provides an iPad with various headlines, and he scrolls through until he hits upon the news that NASA has discovered a solar system where life might have evolved.

He forgets about the food, and pretty much everything else for a while. Eventually he wanders over to the Window, still reading, and then just sits looking out at the explosions.

(The ice cream he bought will be melting all over the Bar at some point, so if anyone wants free food he's probably not going to object, or even notice.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Commitment with Ted. Which, depending on how things progress, might become an issue in the future. But she's not dwelling on it for now.

Besides, if she thought the kid was getting doe-eyed over her she'd stop it. Quickly.

"All right."

Jim will be entirely disappointed if she even contemplates commitment with Ted, but for entirely separate reasons that he will no doubt expand on if and when it becomes necessary.

'Just make sure you're careful, yes? Obviously he always is, but shit happens.'

He's well aware he's insulting her a bit by even saying it, but hopefully she'll be offended enough to be extra careful. That is another way in which he is not having his life ruined.

He's right; she's insulted.

"Do you really think I'd be going on like this while not taking care of things?"

'Of course not.'

He's not insulting her to that degree.

'But you don't need me to tell you the ways in which pills fail, or whatever it is you're using. I wouldn't bring it up, except if you do happen to mess up, it doesn't just affect you.'

Given how militant the kid is, he is not overly concerned. But he'd rather have this conversation now, than be faced with the alternative one at some other point.

Plus, she drinks. A lot. Which is fine and entirely her business, but throwing up can also render pills useless. He refuses to be stupid about this.

Wait, she's not just insulted. She's furious.

"Don't treat me like some backwoods fifteen year old who never had sex ed, clinging to the hope that it just won't happen to me. You think it's the last thing you want to deal with? It doesn't even compare to how I feel."

So there.

"Besides, you wouldn't even know about it if some miracle were to occur."

'I'm not treating you like that.'

He is not going to rise to this. He sounds bored, and doesn't uncurl.

'I'm talking to you because we're two adults, who do occasionally have sex. And I'm not telling you so that you remember not to make a mistake, I'm telling you so that if one did happen, you're not surprised at my reaction.'

He fixes his gaze on her. Not angry, but definitely cold.

'Having said that, if I ever discovered you got rid of anything without telling me first, I'll slit your throat myself.'

"You've made your point. Why you're doing it now is beyond me, but there it is."

There's a few minutes of silence while she lets herself simmer down.

"Have you talked about this with him? Having children, I mean."

Oddly, Sherlock seems the type who might want one. Just one.

He half-shrugs.

'It came to mind-'

...and then she continues, and he chokes.

'What?'

She'll continue some more.

"You and Sherlock. Children."

These are conversations that need to be had, Jim.

"There are ways it can be done."

'I know there are-'

Oh, wait.

He stops, and rolls his eyes.

'Nice try, darling. No doubt I deserved that, but don't expect an apology.'

"I don't, but I'm genuinely curious."

Her expression even confirms this.

"It seems something you'd both be intrigued by, a little version of yourselves to study."

'Do I look like I'm intrigued by the idea?'

He does not. He looks horrified. Of course it's something he's considered over the course of his life - he's considered everything - and the curiousity about what sort of child he'd produce is dampened by two things. The knowledge that any offspring of his would have a wretched life, tortured by their own brain; and his own desire to not leave any part of himself in a world he bloody hates. There is a reason he destroys everything.

'I wouldn't inflict life on anyone.'

Except himself, which is ironic in all the very worst ways.

Edited 2017-02-24 00:55 (UTC)

She mostly expected that answer. It's much the same for herself, really, except it's mostly out of fear she'd be a terrible mother. And she expects she would be.

"And what about him?"

Also ironically, Jim is sure that in some ways, he'd be an excellent father. In others, the very worst imaginable.

'How should I know?'

The horrible truth is dawning that - as Jim knows better than anyone - Sherlock has the biggest heart in the world, and would be a truly wonderful dad. But that's his problem, as far as Jim's concerned.

'It's not an issue. Jesus, we're only a few months past me almost killing him, I doubt this is ever going to come up.'

She has the benefit of having had a test run with Alexander and as far as she's concerned, she failed. She doesn't want to go through that again.

"If you don't know, then you don't know if it's an issue. You're never giving him up, so why not talk about it?"

His eyebrows raise.

'How would you know if I plan to give him up or not?'

Christ, is it that obvious? Of course it's true, but that's not the point.

She rolls her eyes in response.

"You do realize you practically swoon whenever he's mentioned, yes?"

And it's not just the honeymoon stage, either. Yes, it's that obvious.

'Oh fuck off, I do not.'

Though...there is a smile spreading that seems to be outside of his control. Just for a second or two.

...he shuts it down, and takes a second or two more to make sure it's not coming back.

'Whateveeeeeer, darling. He's delicious, and I don't care who knows it.'

Mainly because it is not going to stop him absolutely fucking his life up all over again. If it did, then there'd be a problem.

Edited 2017-02-24 01:19 (UTC)

Mmm hmm. Whatever yourself, Jim.

She won't point out that he's avoiding the question. There's little reason to pursue it.

Standing, she stretches and looks down at him.

"I should be off. I have a date to get to."

'And I have an existential crisis to deal with apparently, so thanks for that.'

He's clearly exaggerating. He does not expect this to be a big deal, and waves her off with a vague hand.

'Try and have fun. Just remember that he's probably doing his best. There's always a chance he'll improve.'

Jim is Ted's biggest fan, it seems.

"Shut up."

But it's fond.

'Make me.'

He pulls a face at her - also fond - and gets comfortable in his ball so he can watch the Window a while longer.

'See you at Mardi Gras, darling.'

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only