milliways_bar | (no subject)

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The circle of chairs is... not in the bar today, instead there's a sign.

LIFE SUPPORT
OUTSIDE TODAY, ON THE BEACH
FREE FOOD AND A CHAT
CAMPFIRE WITH MARSHMALLOWS

Out on the beach, there is a circle of deckchairs. It's too nice weather today to waste inside. There's also a yummy picnic, and a thermos of tea.

New? Confused? Problems here or at home?
Come and join them!

[ooc: Open until the next one in approx 1 1/2 months (There will be no LS in July due to the fair).
All tags will be picked up by at least one of the LS crew. Threadhopping encouraged! All welcome xx
ETA 23.30: Guppy-mun now heading to bed but will pick up any slows tomorrow]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"A bookshop. He wanted a bunch of encyclopaedias, for some reason." Bernard says.

He wouldn't have believed Wilford about the undead. But this girl looks serious.

"Do I need to carry garlic or something?"

"Oh, no, the vampires here generally don't attack people, as far as I know," Alana says, holding a hand up. "They'd get celled by Security, which, granted, isn't that much of a deterrent, but it is what it is. The vampire I know wants to keep his arrangements with people here so he gets fed, which precludes him from being violent with anyone else."

"Security? I didn't see a bouncer." Bernard says, taking another handful of marshmallows.

"And none of you think this is weird?"

Alana's smile crinkles up the corners of her eyes. "Of course it's weird, but you'd be surprised at how quickly you get use to it all. Some people even come from worlds with vampires in them, so they're used to that aspect, but there's always part of the bar that's odd," she says, chuckling. "And there are always members of Security around. They're just patrons like everyone else, and 'bouncer' is a great job description for them. They can put people in the cells, which are sentient and named Baby. No one can escape from Baby."

"'Nobody can escape from Baby'? Jesus, sounds like the title of a horror novel." Bernard says.

"Why don't they just throw you out the door like a regular bouncer?"

Alana laughs, a bright, surprised noise. "It does, doesn't it?" she says, ducking her head. "And they can't throw you out because there's no guarantee you won't come back. The bar is open to everyone, regardless of who they are in their world or what they do here."

"So they throw people in jail? Is that what happens to all those people in the world who go missing or claim to be abducted by aliens?"

Ugh, he needs a drink to deal with all this. Tea won't cut it. He pulls a hip flask out of his inside pocket and gives it a swig.

"People only stay in the cells from three days to a week, depending on how long the arresting Security member decides on," Alana says, not bothered by his drinking either. "Punishments are lax here. Did anyone tell you that time stops in your world while you're here? There's a welcome pamphlet that might interest you."

"Nobody told me anything. They were all extremely unhelpful, and I was concussed and intoxicated." Bernard says.

Which is his way of saying yes please he would like a pamphlet.

Alana stands, straightening her skirt. "Why don't we go back to the bar and get a welcome brochure? And I can answer any questions you might have after. Has anyone looked at you for your concussion?"

She starts leading the way back to the bar, her steps measured and sure in high heels on the grass.

"Yes, I think quite a few people looked at me and then had a good laugh." Bernard says.

He gets up and follows her.

"No, I meant someone professional," Alana says, shaking her head. "Did you want someone from the infirmary to take a look? I'm surprised you're ambulatory."

Bernard considers this. Yesterday he would have said no, because he needed to be gravely injured to avoid paying his taxes. However he now has a new accountant, so that makes concussion unnecessary.

"You have an infirmary in a pub?"

"Oh, yes," Alana says, smiling. "Though as I'm sure you've noticed, Milliways is no ordinary bar."

Their discussion takes them all the way to the bar, and Alana approaches the counter. "A pamphlet, please, if you would. Here you are, Bernard."

"Thanks. I think the concussion wore off though. This is just a hangover." Bernard says, looking at the pamphlet.

It certainly isn't an ordinary bar.

"Well, the bar has a variety of hangover cures from all over the universe, so I'm sure she'll have something for you," Alana says, and steps back to let him read.

Eventually, she speaks again. "Any questions?"

"In all honesty I don't know where to start." Bernard admits.

"Well, let's see," Alana says, tilting her head. "You didn't freak out when the pamphlet appeared, so I assume you know about Bar. You now know about Security and the infirmary--Dr. Guppy Sandhu is in charge of that, and X-23 is the head of Security. Dr. Sandhu also runs Life Support. There are rooms for rent upstairs, and, oh, do you know about the three rules now?"

"The three rules?"

[ooc: And I have to head off, sorry, slowtime ok?]

"No violence, no nudity, and no outside business," Alana says, counting them off on her fingers. "Violence is self-explanatory, but you can be nude on your own time with other consenting adults in the rooms upstairs. Outside business basically means grudges with people from your own world." [OOC: Sure, slowtimes are always okay! Thanks so much for tagging in!]

Bernard raises an eyebrow.

"You have to have a rule to stop people stripping off and having sex in the middle of the floor?"

"Well," Alana says, giving him a measured look, "there was an incident where exactly that happened, hence the rule."

"You can't be serious."

"But I am," Alana says, holding back a wince. "They'd had sex on the counter. The lady Bar--she's sentient, by the way--was not pleased."

"Jesus Christ." Bernard says.

"What do you mean the bar is 'sentient'?"