Very uneasy 3-pup post -- Sunday morning

[undead_radish_seller]

So here is what happened:

Wen Ning had been in the kitchen making noodles (as you do) on that cool machine they have here where you feed it the noodle dough, crank a handle, and it flattens and cuts the dough so nice mie strings come out, all ready to be dumped into the boiling water, or dried to use later. And while he had been turning the handle, happily thinking of all the nice dishes he'd make for his little village of twenty people all told,

in waltzed Jin Guangyao, took off his silly black hat, his gold-embroidered silk outer robe with the huge tacky peony emblem, tied back his sleeves, put on an apron that had a pattern of tiny peonies, clouds and bulls (really? really???) printed all over, and went about mixing some sauces. Only when he went to look for fresh ginger did he notice Wen Ning, who had kept absolutely still, not even having any breath to hold. The Jin bastard, however, just sighed, shook his head, and said, "Look, you can make your noodles over there, I can mix my sauces here, and we can ignore each other perfectly fine, as this is Milliways anyway, and a huge kitchen at that. Please, unfreeze."

This would have worked, except that about fifteen minutes later, Dr. Hannibal Lecter came in, and of course he knew both of them! He casually complemented Wen Ning on how good he looked in those new black robes, offered him an apron because you can never rely on your neatness to keep you clean while cooking, as that consideration seriously cramps your style, and then he turned right to bloody Lianfang-zun and told him that, honestly, he looked so much better without the hat, if he'd excuse such a rude remark, and that those sauces would actually go very well with the noodles, even though he personally would try soba with them, and then he had to explain to both of them what soba were,

and, in the end, that led to Dr. Lecter cooking dishes from the land of Wa (which, apparently, his paternal uncle's cultivation partner (or something??) had been from, so he knew all about it) with an uneasy young cultivator and a severely spooked fierce corpse assisting him and listening to him ramble on while he cooked and ordered them around ("In a historical Chinese setting, you can of course replace them with -- what, you have potatoes? Okay then? Just peel them, there's a good little zombie!"), all oblivious about the undercurrent of deep wariness between his two young helpers.

And this is what you are going to walk in on when you want something in the kitchen.


tinytag: jin guangyao
tinytag: wen ning

[[OOC: Say in your tag which of the three you want, or you might get all three...]]

Comments

[mogget_cat]

"Food for their curiosity," Yrael says with just as much ease. "What would happen if people from opposite sides in a conflict were put in a kitchen together, or if people from worlds that are similar but different in poignant and thought-provoking ways were to interact beyond the bounds of their time and place? What new divergence would their paths take? How would it change the future of their world?"

There are reasons Yrael and Hannibal are friends.

[cook_the_rude]

"And so," Dr. Lecter says, "here we are, to the great entertainment of whoever is watching this. They might be hoping that the fierce corpse and the young cultivator would enact a dramatic xianxia scene, but instead I am here, and we are cooking."

Jin Guangyao does rub his nose at the unease the idea of somebody watching him for entertainment elicits in him; then he realises what he has done, and gives a yelp.

"At one time, everybody from my world who came here was from a slightly different version of our reality, as everybody had taken the opportunity to change something about it, based on what they had learned here. It was very good to see; my friends are really fiendishly clever," Dr. Lecter says, sounding proud of these people. "All those different antler-shaped plans all paid off beautifully, and separately. It was a kaleidoscope of possible stories, none of them quite mine."

[mogget_cat]

Yrael smiles, purring with his eyes mostly closed. "Your cooking can be delightfully dramatic in its own right, Dr. Lecter."

He doesn't know about the Landlord, or xianxia, but he always enjoys it. Cooking is not a skill Yrael shares.

"A scant handful of people from my world have come here in the past since I made my home here. The current Abhorsen and the Abhorsen-in-waiting, the burgeoning Wallmaker prince, his friend, my sister... Apart from the young Wallmaker princeling, none have stayed, or returned."

And not through any of Yrael's doing, either.

[hat_and_dimples]

"Why would a princeling make walls?" Jin Guangyao asks, loking for something, anything, that he can clean his face with before the capsaicin reaches a place that will really hurt.

"Magic," Dr. Lecter says, which is apparently the Milliways explanation for almost anything.

"Who is your sister?" Wen Ning asks. Sisters are important!

[mogget_cat]

"Wallmaker is his birthright, his title," murmurs the thing that isn't a cat, "he is the first in hundreds of years. A lifelong purpose to which to put his ingenuity and creativity for new, clever uses of Charter magic, a destiny that suits him much better than Abhorsen-in-Waiting. Or Prince, for that matter."

Yrael flicks an ear. "My sister who also found this place is Kibeth, the Walker, third of the Seven."

[undead_radish_seller]

"She is your older sister?" Wen Ning asks, because it is an important distinction. "My older sister has found this place, too. What kind of creature is she -- your sister, I mean. I know what kind of creature my sister is. She's human!"

Jin Guangyao giggles, despite he chili on his nose.

[mogget_cat]

"I suppose you could say she is my elder sister," he admits, after a moment of consideration, or of sniffing once more to make sure he hasn't missed any morsel of tuna. "She is a being like me, Free Magic tied to the Charter."

"Though she appears most often as a dog."

Probably something to do with her love for walks.

[undead_radish_seller]

"Oh, perhaps it's good she doesn't appear as that here right now," Wen Ning says.

Then, he suddenly clams up because Jin bloody Guangyao ist still there, rubbing at his nose with a dishcloth, but even so he totally doesn't need to know that Wei-gongzi, the dreaded Yiling Patriarch, is afraid of dogs!

"Who is cynophobic?" Dr. Lecter asks, casually.

[mogget_cat]

"And why?" The not'cat can't quite keep the dry derision from his tone. Dogs aren't dangerous! Just annoying. And smelly. And loud. And bossy.

"Kibeth can be other things, of course, but I also think it is good she is not here now."

This is his place, after all.

[undead_radish_seller]

"What else can she be?" Wen Ning asks, determined to get beyond his almost slip-of-tongue.

[mogget_cat]

"A righteous pain in the ass," Yrael replies, wrinkling his nose.

"Though she can take the form of anything she wishes, and anything in between."

[hat_and_dimples]

"So anything and anybody could be your elder sister, and then turn into a dog without a moment's notice," Jin Guangyao asks, putting down the cloth with which he'd tried to wipe the chili off his face.

Hannibal smiles. "This is Milliways. Anybody can probably be turned into a dog at a moment's notice. The Bar, Landlord, whatever, decides it is Everyone Is Dogs week, and woof, here we are."

[mogget_cat]

"Hannibal," Yrael half-yowls, ears back and looking like a cat that has smelled a lemon too close. "Why do you speak of such horrible things? If that happens, I will endeavor to sleep through it until the Landlord grows bored with their fun."

With the forge cats, on the roof.

Though Yrael is sure Hannibal would enjoy getting his fur ruffled by Will Graham.

"Kibeth rarely conceals herself in that way, at least," he adds, to Jin Guangyao's remark. "At a time long past, there was curry here that, if consumed, would switch one's consciousness into the body of someone else who had consumed it, and their consciousness into your body. It was a source of great confusion. More entertainment for the Landlord, I would assume."

[hat_and_dimples]

"That is something that can happen here?" Jin Guangyao says, horrified. "What if I want to go home but happen to have the wrong body?"

"Then you will have to go to Jinlintai as a cat, or a construct, or a lady -- no, not as a lady, that would be too bad and really dangerous. You would have to stay here until it's over," Wen Ning says.

In the company of Hannibal and Yrael, and placidly making noodles with that lovely machine, the Ghost General feels self-assured enough to shoot this serious jibe at the Jin bastard.

[mogget_cat]

Yrael streeeeetches, forepaws outstretched and eyes shut, which soon morphs into an arched-back stretch accompanied by a massive catty yawn. "You could go back in a different shape, though it would likely cause difficulty if you needed to explain. Most of the stranger of Milliways happenings can be waited out, however, or the way to correct them is known."

But he his curious. "Are ladies so unwelcome there?"

[undead_radish_seller]

"Far too welcome," Wen Ning says. "Their sect leader has a reputation, and a number of known bastards. And probably a greater number of unknown ones."

[hat_and_dimples]

"You are talking about my father!" Jin Guangyao says, all the more displeased because it's true, of course, and he himself is one of those bastards, and everybody knows and talks about it, even the miserable Wen remnants hiding out in the Burial Mounds.

He throws a jalapeno at Wen Ning, a gesture more dismissive or frustrated than aggressive.

[mogget_cat]

The not'cat listens politely enough, tail crooked slightly.

"... I suppose there are people who might frown on that behavior?" he allows, personally not seeing the point. "Though not so often, in my world. More often, it is wise to have insurance for the great bloodlines, against a world full of dangers."

Dangers with teeth, like the ones in the cat's slight smile. "The Clayr take lovers freely, and do not marry. And there are no records of who fathered the current king upon the previous queen - some unknown noble - but lucky for the kingdom that he did, for King Touchstone was the only one of that line who survived the Interregnum, following the crown prince's betrayal and murder of his family. The current Abhorsen-in-Waiting, in fact, is the daughter of the previous Abhorsen and a Clayr woman, and half-sister to the current Abhorsen."

All spoken quite frankly. The how of it hardly matters, so long as the bloodline continues.

"But yes, in this particular case, best you are not mistaken for anyone but who you are."

[hat_and_dimples]

"Glad as I am about the position I have gained," Jin Guangyao says, a bit stiffly, "there is a limit to how close I want to be to my father. I wouldn't want to come close to him in, say, the body of the Lady Sunshine."

Wen Ning shudders and throws the jalapeno back at the Jin bastard.

"That is a bit unpleasant," Hannibal says calmly, "but remember, Wen Ning, you started the subject. The idea of a familiar person engaging in transgressive behaviour while they are unable to recognise you is, fascinatingly, one of the oldest worries in the book of the human soul."

[mogget_cat]

"It does show up rather often in storytelling traditions, doesn't it?" Yrael mwrrs, considering. "Daughters deceiving their father while he is drunk; a brother unknowingly attracted to his long-lost twin sister; a son prophesied to kill his father and marry his mother, sent away to be raised elsewhere so that - irony of ironies - he doesn't recognize his parents at the crucial moment."

The wayward young Princeling's developing crush on his mother's half-sister was quickly quashed, thankfully.

[cook_the_rude]

"It is a spectre that creeps through human narrative tradition, and through our nightmares," Dr. Lecter muses, stirring the pan. "Even in my own tale -- we had to free Margot Verger from her intrusive brother Mason. She ended up marrying Alana, if you remember her?"

For 'free', read 'kill him with extreme prejudice'.

"That sounds very off-putting," Jin Guangyao says, offering Dr. Lecter the chilies he has cut up very finely; and Wen Ning nods in agreement, shuddering again. Compared to such tales, his own story is mostly blue skies and little bunny rabbits.

[mogget_cat]

"I do recall Alana," Yrael confirms, purring. She had given good scritches. "I had wondered how she had fared, after she shot you."

[cook_the_rude]

Hannibal chuckles.

"Differently, in each of our worlds," he says. "Our story had split into so many fragments. My Will, who fell in from the cliff with me, was not the same Will who was here before, either."

"So if I do a thing to change what happens with us," Jin Guangyao muses, "it might not even affect the next cultivator who comes here?"

[mogget_cat]

"That is right," answers the cat. "Or you may return home to find the people of your world you encountered here were not from your particular version of that world. You may have spoken with a different them - or shared a kitchen with a different timeline's Wen Ning."

[hat_and_dimples]

"Thank you," Jin Guangyao says. "I shall assume nothing when I next see Hanguang-jun, then. He and I had an interesting conversation here which I mean to continue when they come to Golden Koi Tower for my nephew's hundred day celebrations."