milliways_bar | (no subject)

"Night before last, and you wouldn't believe-" He scowls. "Waitaminute. How do I know you're you?"

Daniel, despite the lingering shock, smirks. "I'd believe just about anything, Jack. And...what year is it, for you?"

Jack opens and closes his mouth a few times. Yeah, that smirk is Daniel's alright.

He makes vague gestures in the air. "Either 2005 or 30 000 BC. You know how it is."

Daniel smiles. Widely. Like an idiot. "Same time as me, then, or close. Good. People get brought here from different times, you know." Still with the smiling. "I can't believe you're here. I was hoping you'd show up sometime, but...it's good to see you."

"You too Danny Boy." Jack smiles back, wonkily. He's not good with emotion, and he searches for a way out. "Do you want a beer?"

"Sure." Daniel pauses, mischief suddenly in his eyes. "Have you met Bar yet?"

"Bar?" Jack can just hear the capital letter. He points to the bar. "That? I shot it."

Daniel stares. "...you shot her?"

Jack has the grace to look slightly embarrassed. "It shot back. Harder. And I was tryin' to hit my evil twin at the time."

"...oh, God, Jack." Daniel shakes his head, standing. "In that case, I'll go get the beer...and apologize to her. Not it, her. Profusely. You idiot."

This last is said without rancor. At least, without a lot of it.

Jack decides not to mention that he's also severely insulted a waitrat by speaking to it v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y so that it would understand his order. And he can't for the life of him remember which of them it was.

"I'm just sayin', it's not my fault if I'm not quite used to aliens making mini-mes out of me..."

"Hey," he perks up. "It's a woman? I'll order then, she'll forgive me."

Daniel might, if he were so inclined, say "D'oh" in response to that. However, he is not so inclined. Instead, he gives Jack a Look, arching his brows over his glasses. "She might. She might not. Safer to let me plead your case...what did you shoot her with, anyway?"

Jack crumbles under The Look. He mumbles, "I zatted her."

Fear The Look. It silences Jack when no other Looks can. Except Teal'c's Looks, but then, Teal'c's Looks can silence just about anybody. "You zatted...well, better than using a P-90, I guess." He sighs, his expression long-suffering. "Just...stay here. I'll get drinks."

He goes over to the bar, ordering beers and apologizing profusely for Jack's "Shoot first, think later" mentality. Bar sulks a little, but eventually produces a bottle for each of them, which Daniel takes back to the table.

Jack takes 'Stay here,' to mean 'Stay here and try not to do anything stupid that could cause an inter-galactic war,' and he does just that.

He takes his Guinness, and examines it through the glass bottle. "It's not green, is it?"

Actually, Daniel meant 'Stay here and try not to do anything stupid that could get you locked up or summarily Wiped Out Of Existence', but you say potato.

In response to Jack's question, he shrugs, taking a sip of his own not-green, not-Guiness beer. "If it is, you deserve it."

Jack knocks it back anyway. Hell, it tasted okay when it was green last time. He thinks it's patriotic.

"So, I met a pretty little lady called Eris the other night..."

"...oh." Daniel blushes. Profoundly. "That's...good?"

Jack grins. "You dog you. What is it, a girl on every other planet now?"

"...Jack, you didn't say that to her, did you?"

He actually can't remember. "I...might have." He's afraid he'll get the Look again.

Daniel does not give him the Look this time. Instead, he drops his head to the table and proceeds to bang it there repeatedly.

"Hey, hey, Daniel, I'm sorry." He goes to put his hand on Daniel's shoulder but thinks better of it. It might just get bitten off.
"She...ah...seemed to take it well?"

"Daniel, does not banging your head on the table tend to hurt?"

Yes, Martouf is there -he's always there. He's dead. He can't *be* anywhere else.

Daniel raises his head and gives Martouf a slightly tamer version of The Look. "Not as much as talking to Jack. Remind me again why I wanted him to show up here?"

Rude? Maybe a little.