milliways_bar | (no subject)

Alex...you were...that laugh...I could feel it. God, Alex...

And he doesn't know where it comes from, the sudden possessive anger that seizes him.

And those fucking things in the fucking dark can't fucking have you because you're mine.

I know. I just wanted to see if the door had changed at all. Was -- was that wrong?

He sighs, pulls away, licks at the wound.

No. No, I suppose not. But...mine...

And he's holding onto Alex as if for dear life.

Don't scare me, Alex. You were so hurt inside and I could feel it and I thought...I don't know what I thought but I was terrified. What startes this up? What got you upset?

He furrows his brow.

"I don't understand, Nick, I'm fine. I'm not upset. I was just talking to Richard and then I told him about the Black God's realm and I decided to see if they still wanted me back. He told me that people here would be sad if they took me back. He's a nice person for saying that. David said he wouldn't let them take me. I don't understand why you're so worried. I'm fine."

"We would be sad, too, Alex. And I won't let them take you. Neither would Nick."

He reaches over and touches Alex's shoulder as Eliie touches his cheek.

"We were worried because you seemed upset. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry, Alex."

He hangs his head.

"You didn't upset me, Richard. I liked talking with you. You're good for company. Why did you think I was upset?"

He blinks at them, looking confused.

He looks Alex in the eye.

"Alex? Alex, you're not well. I think I should take you upstairs for a while...and I'll come back down to get you something to eat after, all right?"

He blinks at Nick, tilting his head a little.

"I don't understand, Nick. I'm fine. Why do you think there's something wrong?"

"Um....Alex? Nick can feel everything you're feeling. It's part of the bloodlink."

Nick looks to Richard, then to Alex, and nods.

"Please...trust me? Perhaps...sleep it off a bit?"

He looks close to tears.

Alex? Alex, you're scaring me. Please. Please, Alex. I love you.

"I know he can feel everything, I wouldn't lie to him."

In the end, it's the tearfulness and the fact that it's Nick that clinches it.

"Sshh, Nick, please don't be upset, don't cry, I didn't mean to make you upset. I'll go up with you if you want me to, just don't be upset. It's okay. I love you."

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm so sorry, Alex. So sorry.

And he does cry then, burrowing his head in Alex's chest.

PAIN. MISERY. GUILT. TERROR.

And Nick has just enough control to block them from Alex but he just twitches in apology to the others, unable to help it.

David almost jumps out of his seat, and Eliie is touching Nick's cheek in a second as David gets a rather major nosebleed.

That's okay. Just... ow. Try and... not be so sad?

Richard is already wallowing in his own guilt and sorrow. This just tops it off. He stands and murmurs a quiet apology to them all and slinks off to the front door.

He wraps his arms around Nick, worried and confused and completely lost.

Nick, it's okay, I'm okay, I don't know what's wrong, what did I do?

He looks desperately at David, eyes widening when he sees the blood.

"David? I--I don't understand."

He's sitting with his tongue stuck out under his dripping nose.

"S'nothing. Minor... brain hemmoraging, I think."

He attempts a smile and just ends up with a bloody chin.

And Nick winces.

Sorry, David.

He pulls away to look up to Alex.

"Can I take you...to my apartment?"

Not home. This is home. Their room is home.

Richard walks quietly out the front door to New Orleans. (http://www.livejournal.com/community/thebigeasyways/16029.html)

Alex looks at Nick, nodding.

"Of course. Whatever... whatever you want. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

Nick looks like he half wants to punch something and half wants to punch himself. There's also a good part of him that looks like he wants to start crying again.

"No...no, Alex. Don't be sorry."

Just...

But he can't ask that. He can't do that himself...how could he ask Alex for it?

Just follow me...please...I want...I need you. In my bed. With me.

He stands and holds out his hand.

He nods, standing up and taking Nick's hand.

"I love you. Always and forever, just like I promised."

He looks up at them both, Eliie disappeared a while since, and sighs.

"Go, and feel better."

And he can't help it, can't help scooping up Alex and holding him tight and not letting go and walking to the front door like a deathmarch, eyes closed, using his other senses to guide him. He opens the door and walks into his bedroom and he doesn't cry because Alex doesn't need that anymore. He does put him on the bed and he does make love to Alex until Alex falls asleep.

Then he cries. Because there's not a damn thing he can do.