milliways_bar | (no subject)

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After Bart -- Thad, really, but Tim didn't know that -- had left, Tim had been left alone in the corner booth. He was trying to maintain a semblance of normality. He had...work to do. And he didn't feel like going back to the Tower to do it, since he knew Kon was there doing his homework.

He needed to calm down. To...think logically.

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"It's...just..." What if Kon had seen him as a failure because he couldn't even protect his own father? He didn't even want to consider that possibility, ever. It was hard enough to deal with the prospect of his father's death and Kon's words without connecting them together.

"And...what do you mean weird?" Tim hadn't been around Bart lately, after all.

"I don't know. Just... weird." Kon couldn't place his finger on anything specific, it was just... a feeling.

"And it's just what?"

"I haven't really spent much time with Bart lately, to be truthful." So he didn't really have anything to work with.

"Just..." No, he shouldn't go there. The mere thought made him sick. "Nothing. Nevermind."

"No." Kon says firmly. "Tell me."

It seemed like Tim wasn't going to say anything more for a few moments, but the fact that he hadn't tried to escape Kon's grip said something.

"Bart...was saying how sorry he was. For...my father. And that he thought we'd come to Milliways because I hadn't wanted to deal with that and your...attitude." He still wasn't saying it directly. He didn't want to.

"For... your father." Had something happened to Tim's father? No, this was supposed to be about the future. So something... was going to happen...

"What happened to your father?"

Why is he dreading this answer?

There was silence again, but this time longer. Tim was struggling with himself. It seemed like...like if he said it, that it might hold more truth than it actually had. It hadn't happened yet. It might not ever happen. But the thought alone frightened Tim to know end. In the end, he was just a boy like anyone else.

"He said...he died," he choked out, finally, trying to control his voice.

And Kon just... he has no idea what to say to this. He wishes he knew. He wishes he was one of those guys who could fix things with just a few words, and make it so Tim didn't have to worry about this at all.

But he couldn't. He couldn't, and in trying he'd probably mess things up further, but he had to try anyway.

"A -possibility-. There's many of them, like you said. And now that you know... you can prevent it."

"But how? He doesn't even know what I do." And he knew that he was putting his father in danger without his father knowing it. It came with the job. If someone found out who Robin was, they could easily go for Jack Drake to cripple Robin.

"And...just, the idea alone." He stopped, taking a shaky breath. "It scares me so much, Kon..." His voice was barely a whisper.

Kon lets go of Tim's wrist, only to grab his hand instead and squeeze it reassuringly. "Yeah, I know. But it's -not- going to happen."

Tim squeezed his eyes closed behind his mask lenses, trying to keep himself and his emotions under control. He had already lost his mother and seen comrades fall. He didn't want to lose his father, too.

"I can only hope so, Kon."

"But... but you -can't- worry about it, you know?" Kon says quietly. "I mean, stuff like that is always a possibility in our business. There's no way to -help- it. It's no less or more real just 'cuz Bart said it."

And was that really going to help? Maybe he should just shut his mouth...

"But you can't live any differently cuz it -might- happen, because then you'll never be able to properly spend time with him. You'll be too stressed."

"But Kon, it's one thing to know logically that it might happen...and another when someone says that they've seen it happen." And Tim didn't know if he was strong enough to handle the situation if his father ever died because of him.

"...But you're right. I mean, I really should follow my own advice. It might not happen, you know?" He said with a strained smile.

"Yeah, but Bart also said he'd seen you and Cassie... yeah." Which, okay, was really really different, but? Still something that was supposedly 'true' for the future. "You can keep the possibility in mind, yeah, and work to prevent it. But don't kill yourself with worry."

And. Well. "And you're not alone, either."

At that, Tim finally looked at Kon and smiled. He hadn't told him about his suspicions in the end, but perhaps it was better that way. It might never happen, after all.

"Thanks."

"Yeah." Kon smiles faintly back. "Just... don't -forget- that last part, okay? I know it's easy sometimes, but..."

"I'll...try not to." And indeed he would. Really, Kon was his best friend. Even with his paranoia, he knew that.

"I'll remind you if I have to." He has ways.

Now things were started to feel more normal.

"Should I be scared?" He quipped.

"Depends on what scares you." Kon's relieved to see Tim joking again.

"Well, in that case...I don't think I should be scared at all," he said with a faint smirk. It was always easier to change the subject and not think about his issues.

Normally, Kon would insist on Tim not going into denial, but he doesn't -want- Tim to focus on this. He wants him to forget.

"I suppose you think you know everything up my sleeve, huh?"

"Is there something I'm missing that you'd like to inform me of?" Tim asked with a brow raise. Just like normal. Well, on the surface, anyway.

"Missing? Yes. Inform you of?" Kon pretends to be deeply pondering this. "Hmm, maybe someday."

"I'm deeply devastated that you aren't willing to tell me. Really," Tim deadpanned. "Because it's not like I'm the world's greatest detective's sidekick, you know."

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mini-supes.livejournal.com - 2005-03-22 03:50 (UTC) - Expand

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