milliways_bar | (no subject)

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A pirate walks into a bar.

Sounds like a funny joke, right? It's even funnier if you were paying attention and noticed that right before this pirate walked into the bar, it was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and brown jumpsuit.

Wash doesn't realise anything's amiss until he absently scratches his forehead. He stops. Then both hands are frantically groping at the bandanna tied around his head, and he looks down at himself and gapes at the outfit: boots, sword, vest, frilly shirt and all -- not to mention that his hair's suddenly grown at least a foot and a half. When he gives it a cautious tug, it's affirmed that no, this is not a wig.

"Oh, come on, how is this fair?" he complains to no one in particular. "I can't pull pranks on the ship anymore, but you can pull 'em on me?"

The Bar helpfully adds some earrings and a necklace.

"Gorrammit all to...."

And grumbling in both English and Mandarin, he shuffles toward his booth, costume clinking merrily with each step.

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Wash glares half-heartedly as he flops into his booth. He tries to untie the bandanna, but, naturally, it refuses to come off.

In the spirit of goodwill (and a closer look at that outfit), Ace orders up a bowl of blueberries and wanders over to Wash's booth.
"Arrr, matey." She growls at him, and then begins laughing again, clutching the bowl to her chest.

"Avast," he deadpans, and tries to extricate his newly-acquired sword from where it's poking him in the leg. "You know, if things like this keep up, I'm going to lose all of my hopes and dreams that things like 'mercy' and 'justice' actually exist in the 'verse. It'll be terrible. I may even start crying."

"Awwww..." She offers the blueberries. "But there's still dinosaurs." She's not touching the loss of mercy and justice.

He takes a few and pops them into his mouth. Fortunately? No gold teeth to be seen.

"See, now that I would have liked. Why couldn't I get a miniature living breathing dinosaur instead of hair that would probably make Inara turn green? I mean, look at this." Wash grabs a chunk of hair and holds up the ends of it, somehow managing to give the impression of flailing without actually, y'know, flailing.

Ace bites her lip, hard. It's the only way to keep from laughing again. As it is, she's having a rather hard time keeping a semi-straight face.

"...Please don't tell me you're going to do something like offer to braid it." A look of faint horror (well, more horror than what's already there) crosses his face.

Ace gives him a Look as she slides into the other side of the booth.
"Don't be daft. Can you see me braiding anything that isn't a fuse?" She asks, cheerily. Though there is that momentary urge to do just that once he suggested it.

"I don't know. Inara's always offering to braid Kaylee's hair, I figure it's one of those weird girl things." He smiles, teasing.

"I don't understand frippy females. They're a different species, I think." Ace delivers, deadpan.

"They do say aliens are among us," Wash answers, equally straight-faced.

Then, "Nothin' against Inara, she's great, really, but I don't get it either. Then again, Zoe's made me biased." A smile.

"Guess it's a good thing you married her then." Ace snarks as she grabs a handful of blueberries. Then, curious as always...
"Do other people from your ship come here? I know Zoe's been here, but anyone else?"

"Yeah, most of 'em, actually." Wash starts ticking off on his fingers. "Simon and River come in a lot, I've seen Kaylee a couple times, Jayne showed up a few days back," and wasn't that fun, his tone implies, "Inara's been coming here even longer'n I have, and I think Mal did once upon a time. So, yeah. Everybody except the Shepherd."

Ace reaches over the table and pokes her favorite pirate.
"And you haven't introduced me to any of them? Shame, flyboy." But she's grinning, so it can't be all bad.

"If they're here, and you're here, next time, introducing will happen." He grabs another few blueberries and pokes her right back for no particular reason.

"Gooaaaah!" Ace yelps as she's poked, and retreats with a handful of blueberries. Oh dear, Ace's ticklish secret is out!

Wow. That was quite a reaction. Wash blinks, then smirks.

"Aw, you're one of those squirmy people. That's so cute," he says, and immediately reaches to poke her again.

Ace pulls away, hopping up onto the seat back.
"Fiend. Piratey fiend." She informs him as she munches on her berries.

"Arrr," he replies. It's a much more convincing 'arr' that should be normal.

Ace raises an eyebrow at him, but (unwisely) decides not to move.
"Function following form there?" She asks, curious as always.

"Knowing my luck? I'm three minutes away from demanding random passerbys to walk the...whatever it is pirates are supposed to make you walk."

Ace snickers.
"I told you that you were a sneaky rebel... I just didn't expect you to take it to heart. You'll have to pillage the bar supplies of fruit to make it up to Zoe."

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