(no subject)

[flybywash]

A pirate walks into a bar.

Sounds like a funny joke, right? It's even funnier if you were paying attention and noticed that right before this pirate walked into the bar, it was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and brown jumpsuit.

Wash doesn't realise anything's amiss until he absently scratches his forehead. He stops. Then both hands are frantically groping at the bandanna tied around his head, and he looks down at himself and gapes at the outfit: boots, sword, vest, frilly shirt and all -- not to mention that his hair's suddenly grown at least a foot and a half. When he gives it a cautious tug, it's affirmed that no, this is not a wig.

"Oh, come on, how is this fair?" he complains to no one in particular. "I can't pull pranks on the ship anymore, but you can pull 'em on me?"

The Bar helpfully adds some earrings and a necklace.

"Gorrammit all to...."

And grumbling in both English and Mandarin, he shuffles toward his booth, costume clinking merrily with each step.

Comments

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

Poor, poor Ace. She's never going to get to breathe today. She takes one look at Wash and promptly collapses into a gigglefit on the bar.

[flybywash]

Wash glares half-heartedly as he flops into his booth. He tries to untie the bandanna, but, naturally, it refuses to come off.

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

In the spirit of goodwill (and a closer look at that outfit), Ace orders up a bowl of blueberries and wanders over to Wash's booth.
"Arrr, matey." She growls at him, and then begins laughing again, clutching the bowl to her chest.

[flybywash]

"Avast," he deadpans, and tries to extricate his newly-acquired sword from where it's poking him in the leg. "You know, if things like this keep up, I'm going to lose all of my hopes and dreams that things like 'mercy' and 'justice' actually exist in the 'verse. It'll be terrible. I may even start crying."

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

"Awwww..." She offers the blueberries. "But there's still dinosaurs." She's not touching the loss of mercy and justice.

[clumsy_auror]

*Tonks passes by....


....and does a double-take.*

Wash? What're you wearing?

[flybywash]

"I don't have the first ruttin' clue," he groans, in the middle of trying to tug off the earrings (which have pretty much adhered like super glue). "It's...what am I even supposed to be, a pirate? Like that crazy Jack guy? Ow," he adds as he pulls just a little too hard.

[clumsy_auror]

*Frowning, she gets out her wand and mutters a few spells, tapping him in various places.

No luck.*

It's not Talk Like a Pirate Day again, is it?

*She glances 'round the room, taking in the distinct lack of anyone else piratey. Then the realization dawns.*

Oh. But it is....

[flybywash]

"April Fools," he finishes with a groan. "Yeah. I know. This is the Bar's fault, isn't it? I mean, we got tiny elephants running around, maybe...."

Beat.

"Wait. There's an actual holiday called Talk Like a Pirate Day?"

[timsbooks.livejournal.com]

*There is a pirate chest on the bar with Wash's name on it. For some reason, it is wrapped with pink ribbon.*

[flybywash]

Wash, once he actually makes it over to the bar, eyes it skeptically.

After looking right, then left, he reaches out and gives the ribbon a tiny pull.

[timsbooks.livejournal.com]

*FOOM! Thats this muns new favorite word, FOOM. It's so descriptive! In this case, it describes the sound of thousands of plastic gold coins exploding upwards. Left in the box are a note and something weird.*

[flybywash]

"GYAH!"

Wash recoils as the coins go flying everywhere. A few catch him in the face, and he yelps again, trying to bat them away in self-defence. Once they seemed to have stopped, he edges back toward the bar and picks up one of them.

Nope, not real. Gŏushĭ.

Ready to run at any moment, he leans over and cautiously peers into the box.

[fairest1.livejournal.com]

*from over by the painting, Snow gives him a sympathetic nod*

[flybywash]

Wash rolls his eyes, shrugs, and shakes his head in reply. The earrings jingle cheerfully.

[fairest1.livejournal.com]

*Snow gestures down at the dress*

Bar can have an odd sense of humor at times. I've already gone through the pirate treatment.

[flybywash]

"And I'm all about inanimate objects having a sense of humour. Everybody should have a sense of humour. Helps keep things happy. But this is just unnecessarily cruel." A resigned tug at the bandanna. "Every April first, I get the lecture. 'No jokes today, Wash. I don't wanna wake up and find my entire bunk's been moved to the cargo hold again.' And then what happens?" A sigh, and, deadpanning, "Whatever happened to justice and mercy, I tell ya."

And then, he tilts his head. "...when were you a pirate?"

[nomorethesource.livejournal.com]

A hooded man approaches Wash. "Well, I'm glad to see I'm not the only one the Bar decided to dress up today... Unless you realy are a pirate?"

[flybywash]

"Only if it means I get to get drunk and throw people overboard while shouting dirty limericks or whatever it is pirates shout when they're throwing people overboard." Wash has moved on to trying to prise the rings off of his fingers, with just as much success as trying to get off everything else.

"So you're not supposed to be a...hooded person?"

[nomorethesource.livejournal.com]

Cole chuckles. "Well, at least that would be fun. I honestly have no idea who I'm supposed to be, but I have a feeling it's not a happy role."

[flybywash]

"You could be a Shepherd," he suggests. "Maybe not so much fun with the praying and the fasting, but at least it'd be happy."

He offers a hand. "Wash, most emphatically not pirate extraordinaire."

[honest-johns.livejournal.com]

When you've been trained as a gunslinger pretty much since you left the nursery, you learn very quickly to automatically notice things.

Like the fact that Wash's outfit has just changed utterly in the blink of an instant, as he stepped through the door. And that he's currently tugging at it as if it's fixed to his skin, rather than ordinary clothing.

Wash seems mildly disgruntled, but not actually worried. Still, it's rather inexplicable magic to Alain, and magical clothing that will not come off the skin is not a reassuring notion.

After a moment of consideration, he approaches the booth, mug in hand. "Hi, Wash."

Look, he's finally learning modern greetings.

[flybywash]

Wash, in the middle of untying and re-tying the boots, looks up.

"Hey, Alain," he says with a wry smile, and gives the laces an extra tug. "Long days and pleasant nights."

[honest-johns.livejournal.com]

He grins. "And may you have twice the number."

An eyebrow goes up. "Quite an outfit you have there, sai."

[flybywash]

Deadpan, "Yeah, figured it was time to give up my days of practicality and go for something that'll catch on the controls and make me trip over my own feet. Figured it'd add excitement."

He jerks a thumb toward the Bar. "It's all the Bar's fault. Should've seen it coming, really."