milliways_bar | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

A pirate walks into a bar.

Sounds like a funny joke, right? It's even funnier if you were paying attention and noticed that right before this pirate walked into the bar, it was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and brown jumpsuit.

Wash doesn't realise anything's amiss until he absently scratches his forehead. He stops. Then both hands are frantically groping at the bandanna tied around his head, and he looks down at himself and gapes at the outfit: boots, sword, vest, frilly shirt and all -- not to mention that his hair's suddenly grown at least a foot and a half. When he gives it a cautious tug, it's affirmed that no, this is not a wig.

"Oh, come on, how is this fair?" he complains to no one in particular. "I can't pull pranks on the ship anymore, but you can pull 'em on me?"

The Bar helpfully adds some earrings and a necklace.

"Gorrammit all to...."

And grumbling in both English and Mandarin, he shuffles toward his booth, costume clinking merrily with each step.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"April Fools," he finishes with a groan. "Yeah. I know. This is the Bar's fault, isn't it? I mean, we got tiny elephants running around, maybe...."

Beat.

"Wait. There's an actual holiday called Talk Like a Pirate Day?"

*she blinks*

Sure there is. Great fun. Chance to consume obscene amounts of run and swear inventively.

*an appraising look*

I have to admit, Wash, it's a good look for you.

"Uh. Thanks. Yeah, guess it sort of fits." He looks down at himself with a wry smile. "Rob from the rich, give to ourselves, knew somebody would catch on one of these days."

There's a knife sheath attached to his belt. Wash frowns at it little, and, cautiously, pulls out the dagger for a closer inspection.

"Wow. That's...pointy."

Ah.

*she touches her finger to the tip, lightly, and nods*

Yeah, indeed it is. Mind yourself, now, don't want to actually need an eyepatch.

"I don't know, I heard they give you an air of mystique."

He's still examining the knife. "Good thing Jayne's not here. He'd probably try to steal it and maybe use it on me and anyway, the last thing he needs is another thing to clean in increasingly disgusting ways at the kitchen table."

Gingerly, he sets it on the table far, far away from him, as if it's a bomb that'll go off if he moves it too suddenly.

*grinning, Tonks leans her hip against the table*

Who's Jayne? Another from your crew?

"Yeah." He scratches at the scruff of stubble that's formed on his jaw. "Found his way in here a coupla nights ago, matter of fact. Really big guy, has a thing for weapons, not so much of a thing for putting together an intelligent sentence. Kind of hard to miss."

Huh. Sounds interesting. I'll have to look him up next time he comes in.

*she grins*

I like the Serenity crew. You folks liven the place up.

...Not that it needs it, but still.

"Least we can do," he says with a laugh. "Spreading mischief and mayhem throughout the 'verse, or the end of the 'verse as the case may be. It's all right there the contract you sign when you set foot on that ship."

*Tonks laughs*

Y'know, it sounds like a pretty amazing way to live. I'm sure it has its ups and downs, literally, but you get to go so many places. Meet all sorts of different folk.

"Get shot at by all sorts of different folk, too," he agrees -- without any sort of rancour, though. It's a fact of life. "Yeah, honestly, there's not much I can imagine trading it for. Maybe not anything, short of, like...."

He drifts off a little. Seems like somebody's finally noticed a very new, very sparkly piece of jewelry that Tonks is wearing.

"...a really big diamond...is that new?"

Oh!

*She looks down at her hand, and then flushes, grinning.*

Yeah. Last Friday.

"Wŏ de mā. Never even seen Inara wear something like that." He's smiling, but more in response to the shiny. The significance of it as that kind of ring is completely lost on him.

*She's still rather pink.*

It's so lovely, isn't it? He had Aziraphael and Crowley pick it out, since he can't leave. I guess he hadn't meant to ask me for a while, yet, but then I sort of found the ring by accident, and...yeah.

The metaphorical lightbulb clicks on. Wash's jaw drops. "Wait. Bernard got you that? As...you mean as a proposing-marriage-thing?"

He really can't stop staring now. This is the kind of extravagence you only hear about on the Core: useless trinkets for rich folks with nothing better to spend their money on. But she's talking about it with a casualness that's almost disturbing; it strikes Wash that this might be like the fresh produce -- not so much of a rarity for these people -- and he reigns in some of the envy that's bubbled up. "Wow."

Then, a geniune grin as it really hits him. "Congratulations, Tonks! That's great."

*Her grin is so wide, the top of her head looks to be in danger of falling off.*

Thanks, Wash. We're really, really happy.

*She twists the ring idly; she's still getting used to its presence on her finger.*

Fondly, "'Course you are. And you will be for a lot longer." He leans in a little closer. "If Bernard ever needs husband tips, you know where to send him. Can't guarantee they'll actually work, but...."

*She nods seriously.*

I'll be sure to send him your way.

How long have you and Zoe been married, anyway?

"Coming up on five years now. Nearly as long as I've been on the ship -- hard to say which one's been the better ride." A soft smile.

*Tonks knows that smile. She feels it on her own face a hundred times a day.*

Did you know her before you joined the crew?

Wash shakes his head. "Nope. Hadn't so much as laid eyes on her until I got hired."

A sudden laugh at the memory. "In fact, she wouldn't even let Mal bring me on board 'til she'd frisked me that first time.

*She snickers.*

Why do I get the feeling you rather enjoyed that?

"I refuse to say anything that could incriminate me in any way."

Besides, that devious eyebrow waggle he's got going on is doing a fine job of incriminating him all on its own.

*Tonks grins slyly, still chuckling*

Uh-huh. I know your type. You're like Bernard -- both like take-charge sorts of women, don't you.

He laughs. "What can I say? It's reassuring. Hell of a lot more fun, too."