milliways_bar | (no subject)

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A pirate walks into a bar.

Sounds like a funny joke, right? It's even funnier if you were paying attention and noticed that right before this pirate walked into the bar, it was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and brown jumpsuit.

Wash doesn't realise anything's amiss until he absently scratches his forehead. He stops. Then both hands are frantically groping at the bandanna tied around his head, and he looks down at himself and gapes at the outfit: boots, sword, vest, frilly shirt and all -- not to mention that his hair's suddenly grown at least a foot and a half. When he gives it a cautious tug, it's affirmed that no, this is not a wig.

"Oh, come on, how is this fair?" he complains to no one in particular. "I can't pull pranks on the ship anymore, but you can pull 'em on me?"

The Bar helpfully adds some earrings and a necklace.

"Gorrammit all to...."

And grumbling in both English and Mandarin, he shuffles toward his booth, costume clinking merrily with each step.

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"A shepherd? Is that a form of preacher?"

He takes the hand with the one of his not spewing sparks. "Cole Turner. At least, when I'm not a hooded person."

He gives it a firm shake. "Yeah. Don't know if they really wear robes, but I'm sure some abbey does somewhere.

"So," he adds, leaning back against the booth, "where's your when and where?"

Cole shrugs. "I've seen plenty of sects that choose not to wear the robes."

"I'm from San Francisco, around the turn of the Millenium." Then, realizing that this is Milliways and that might not be enough information, "On Earth, and the millennium would be the 20th Century."

Another one. Not that this surprises him at all anymore, but the 'shepherd' comment had given him a little hope.

"Shiny. I'm from the twenty-sixth century myself." Wash tries to gather up the hair that's still swinging around his face and move it somewhere less troublesome. "So where's San Francisco?"

"Twenty-sixth century?" Then he starts. "I know it's not the biggest city in California, but I thought most people knew where San Fracisco is. You know, the Bay Area? Napa, Berkley, Golden Gate Bridge and all that?"

Wash shakes his head. "Heard of California, but not the rest of it."

For now, he's not going to say exactly why he hasn't heard of it. No use in bringing up Earth-That-Was two minutes into a conversation with a complete stranger.

Cole looks surprised. "I thought the Golden Gate Bridge would at least sound familiar. It's got to be one of the seven modern wonders or something. Where are you from?"

"Currently? Nowhere. Been living on a ship for the past six years." He smiles faintly. "Wasn't born on Earth, though."

"I assume you mean a starship then? Sounds like an interesting life."

"In every sense of the word," Wash agrees. "Fly around, see the stars, meet all sorts of different cultures, steal from those cultures, discover how those different cultures threaten you in new and exciting ways...." He grins.

Cole raises an eyebrow. "I thought you said you weren't a pirate." However, he can't help but laugh at the way Wash says it.

"I prefer to think of it as being a freelance wealth redistributor. Actually, if you want to get technical, I'm the one who drives the freelance wealth redisributors around so they can do their redistributing."

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