milliways_bar | (no subject)

*Bernard's at the usual table.

Coffee.

Newspaper.

A shocking lack of scars.*

"I love you too, Bernard."

And she kisses his (nonscarred!) cheek.

*He rolls his eyes, reddening.*

Shuddup.

"You should know that doesn't work."

What doesn't?

"Telling me to shut up."

Obviously.

"You're even hotter when you blush. No wonder you're gonna have three kids in so short a time."

*There is mild flailing.*

God, Faith! It's like Ophelia's humping my leg or something!

Faith lights up.

"Your sister? Aww, Bernard, I didn't know you thought of me like that!"

And the Barman is being hugged, exuberantly.

*He rolls his eyes*

You're a pest.

"Yes. But you love me!"

No.

I hate you.

"That one never works either."

*Head-table*