milliways_bar | (no subject)

(no subject)

Mike returns to the bar, having changed his ever present orange Hawaiian print shirt for something a little more subdued. You know, a blue one. Draped over one arm is a flowered wreath which appears to have been made with Two-Ply Facial Tissues. In the right light one can see that it has been sprayed with glitter. Placing the wreath down on the Bar, Mike sets about crafting the specials menu for the evening's Happy Hour in script is stylized, yet tasteful.

IN MEMORIAM
Lake Water
Rubber Duckie
The Vibrator

When the wreath is finally set in a place of prominence, Mike mixes himself a Rubber Duckie, and holds it aloft.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of Milliways. The Bar is now open. Let us drink to the memory of Senior Squeakins. May he delight those whom he meets, from now until the end of all things."

He downs the drink, and turns the now empty glass over, mouth down on the Bar.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Mmm. They never could get enough evidence to charge me for that, you know." She notes before sipping her loverly drink of non-specificness.

"That's because they were asking the wrong people. Me? I know everything."

"Everything?" Curious. Fear, turtle.

"Uh huh."

"What's the Dalek really planning?"

...

What? She wants to know!

"To um...you know...bake um....cookies...without the use of flower?"

Ace?

Cracks up.

When she calms down enough, she pinches the bridge of her nose, and does a passable Dalek impersonation.
"YOU! WILL! EAT! MY! COOKIES! EAT MY COOKIES! EAT MY COOKIES!"

She does not know this 'inside voice' you speak of.

"Old Mother Dalek should also point out that the cookies are delicious. Very important, that."

Mike has no idea what a Dalek is.
None what so ever.

"... Do green homocidal blobs have mothers?" They have creators, she knows that...

"I'm sure they do, somewhere."

"... That's really disturbing."

"What is disturbing to you, is someone elses face that only their mother could love...or something."

"... they don't have faces." They do have eyestalks. It helps to aim at them.

"So you can't love the faceless?"

"Not when they try to kill me with brainwashed little girls, no."

No, she's not kidding. Ace has been to some very strange places.

"I bet if they'd gotten more hugs growing up they wouldn't be trying to use the youth as a weapon."

"... I'm not hugging the Dalek."

"But you'll eat her tasty flourless cookies?"

"... It's. There are no him or her Daleks."

Pause.

"And no way in hell."

"Okay, this just begs the question....what's a dalek?"

"Homocidal short-tempered pepperpot alien that regularly attempts to take over Earth and/or Earth's colonies."

There's a description for you.

"Pepperpot? Seriously?"

"... They do look like pepperpots."

Mike giggles.

"It's just that...with your accent. They sound so terribly cute."

"..."

Ace has no words.

Cute and Daleks are words that should never, ever go together, not even with beer goggles.