milliways_bar | (no subject)

(no subject)

Wash. Booth.

Very nice (unopened) bottle of rum and assortment of spices.

Milkshake, newspaper, French toast.

Insert verbs as necessary and have at.

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"...Vegas?"

Cue the eyebrows.

Cue the wicked grin.

"That's where we're kidnapping Mal to, for his birthday. It'll be a lovely surprise, don't you think?"

"...if I knew what Vegas was, I'm sure I'd be saying, 'yes, Lilly, of course, it'll be a thrilling and exciting birthday worth remembering for years to come.'" Beat. "Wait, isn't that some city on Earth-That-Was?"

Lilly nods, still grinning.

"It is the party city of Earth-That-Was. Themed hotels, casinos, bars, strip clubs, resorts, all in the middle of the desert. Non-stop action, people, lights, music... it's the best."

This?

This is Wash going 'ooooh' like a ten-year-old.

"This means no midget strippers too, right?" he asks hopefully.

Lilly mentally crosses a certain bar off her list.

"I guess not... but it'll still be so much fun! Trust me, you all are going to have a total blast."

"Yeah, I hereby put forth a very emphatic veto on midget strippers," he says, and holds up both hands. "And does this mean I don't have to get him a present, either? Because, you know, trip to a dead planet...."

"You could offer to buy him a lapdance?" Lilly suggests hopefully.

"I mean, it's during a trip to Earth-That-Was. So it's a historical lapdance, really, and thus educational and a perfect present for him."

"Meanwhile, as far as birthday presents go for me, I want some of this astounding logic you keep bringing up when I least expect it."

Wash grins and takes a sip of his milkshake.

Lilly grins right back at him.

"Any time, Wash. I'm pretty much always living according to the Book of Lilly Logic, after all."

"So what other wisdom can you care to impart?"

Lilly thinks for a minute.

"Dating guys who are never without their gunbelts can occasionally be a real pain," she says finally. "Please tell me Zoe de-holsters when she's on the ship."

"Only when it counts."

Is that a smirk? Naaah. Couldn't be.

Anyway, it's gone pretty fast as he blinks, briefly taken aback. "Wait wait wait. Did you just imply that you're dating one of the gunslingers?"

Lilly grins.

"I may have, yeah."

A lingering pause.

"Okay, this is where you fill up the silence with elaborating..." Wash prompts, spinning his fork around in his own version of a gunslinger's fingertwirl.

Lilly's still smiling.

"I'm dating Alain, Wash. Did you want more details? Because I'll give them to you, but I have a feeling it's pretty noticeable when you blush."

Brightly, "No, the elaborating can end right there, xièxie."

And he kneads his forehead with the pads of his fingers. "Hey, I am perfectly capable of disguising a blush when I want to. Of course, it involves spending a couple hours in the sun, first....Is Vegas sunny?" he asks suddenly. "Should I be bringing things to help with the not getting sunburned?"

Lilly laughs.

"Vegas is in the middle of the desert. It's one of the sunniest cities on the planet. Coat yourself in sunblock, stay indoors for a good part of the day, and you might not end up permanently sunburnt."

An overexaggerated sigh. "I could've been born on a planet with a nice view," Wash says mournfully, "but no."

He slurps up some milkshake.

"Life is hard," Lilly says sympathetically.

"But I think you'll find Vegas to have some pretty impressive views anyway. Not the least being at some of the nicer strip clubs."

Wash eyes her.

"My wife is probably going to be along on this trip," he points out.

"We'll be going to male strip clubs too," Lilly points out.

"That's not as reassuring as you might think."

"Really?" Lilly asks, innocent like a kitten.

"Because I didn't mean for that to be reassuring at all."

Like a kitten on CRACK, sure.

A little weakly, Wash says, "Oh, good. Just so, you know, we're in the same sector here."

He's not blushing, though. As Lilly herself pointed out, you'd know if he was blushing.

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