milliways_bar | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

There's an especially annoyed Man in Black in the bar.

K strides from the Front Door straight to a booth, not missing a step as he calls out, "Bar, a bourbon and anything you have on Remelian heavy construction methods and materials specifications, please."

By the time he slides into the booth, a glass and two imposing manuals appear on the table with a slight *bamph*.

"Thank you, darlin'"

Next to these K puts down a PDA for note-taking and an odd device that, with a flick of the switch, creates a small hologram of New York's Guggenheim Museum. Except this one seems to have been screwed halfway into the ground.

K barely has the first manual open before he starts grumbling about "goddamn Remelian practical jokes."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Max knows where that is.

Um, vaguely.

"... who cares about Remelian construction? You're not Remelian."

K glances up and gives the young man a Look.

"True enough, kid. But I *am* one of the guys who gets to clean up the mess after they've had a night on the town."

'Kid' is new. Max decides to go with 'rank pulling' for the first time in ... well. Possibly forever.

"And I am an unfortunate diplomat. Max Evans, otherwise known as Zan, king of Antar, which is in Sector Z9-Theta."

Yes, it is somewhere near Earth.

K switches gears, though the shift goes smooth as silk.

"My apologies, your highness," K makes a better-than-passing Antarian nod. Having a bad day, I'm afraid, but that's no excuse. No offense intended."

Actually K *still* looks annoyed, though certainly not about Max.

"Looks like you've been having fun."

Hey, it's Ace. Peering over his shoulder. When did she get back?

K wasn't planning to smile. But it's Ace, so there he is, smiling.

"Hey, kid, how are things? Blasted the hell out of anything lately?"

Of course, if Ace has, whatever it was probably deserved it.

"Not me. Alien race called the Remelians. Blow through town every few months to raise some hell." He points at the Guggenheim with his PDA stylus. "Their latest opus."

"Took out a space station." She replies without even blinking. "You'd think you'd notice them setting up for something like that." Yes, Ace has no problem carrying on two conversations at once. Even with the same person. Try talking to the Doctor when he gets worked up.

K nods, suitably impressed. "Good one."

"Took 'em thirty seconds. You'd think we'd have a contingency plan for this. I mean, *look* at the damn thing. Somebody was bound to screw it into the ground sooner or later."

"Got any aliens in your universe with ships shaped like Phillips screwdrivers?"

K probably means that as a joke. But then again, it never hurts to ask...

Ace frowns, considering the pictures.
"Are you sure the designer wasn't a... whazzit, Remelian? To be so convinient like that..." Ace doesn't believe in coincidence. She used to. Then it turned rabid and bit her in the butt.

K thinks about that.

"Frank Lloyd Wright? Hmmm. You could be on to something there, Ace."

"That'd also explain the porkpie hat."

"Hey, that space station. Anybody I would know? Maybe you did us a favor."

"Doubt it. It's very, very much in the future and possibly an alternative timeline."

Pause.

"But I think we did the cosmos a favor anyway. In several ways."

"Well, if you thought they had it coming, that's good enough for me."

K turns to another part of the manual.

"A hyper-torque generator with anti-grav capacity."

"Ahh, hell, now how'm I going to requisition something like that? I can tell already, the paperwork is going to kill me on this one."

"They were experimenting on kids." And that is more than enough reason for Ace.

"... Get one from the Bar?" She used to suggest getting on from the TARDIS, but she's been unable to use that suggestion for almost a year now.

A flash of anger crosses K's face. "Best reason *I* can think of."
----

"Hmmm. Bar? Any chance of that?"

No *bamph*. Instead a noise that sounds almost, but not quite, like a raspberry.

Beat.

"Figured as much." K turns to Ace and shrugs. "Worth a try."

"So what's next for you? Any new action coming round the next bend?"

"The Doctor needs help clearing off a few Cybermen. Ought to be interesting, anyway." In a 'gee I hope I don't die today' sort of way.

Ace's favorite.

"Well, you know what they say. Just take down more of them than they do of you."

"Never had to deal with robots much myself. Not yet, anyway. Used to think my VCR was possessed, but I guess that isn't the same thing."

"Guess I should meet this Doctor of yours sometime. Is he one of those "Doctor of Everything" types?"

Damn overachievers.

Ace?

Is very, very amused.

"He likes to think so, anyway. He's good at fixing things. I think he might actually hold a medical degree somewhere, but I'm really not sure about that one."

K smiles at Ace and shakes his head. "Ought to be interesting"

"You need any help with those cybermen, or do you have it covered?"

"I think we've got it. I've got plenty of spare change this time." Sure Ace knows there's more sophisticated methods.

Change works though.

"Good. Always glad to lend a hand if you need it, though."

"Hope I get a chance to hear how it goes. *When* you get back."

Because K has no doubt she will.

Of course she'll come back. In over nine hundred years only one companion has ever failed to come back, and she's no Aldric.
"I'll tell you all about it. You know. Just in case there's a Cyberman invasion of the bar or sommat." Call it an intra-agency conference, and maybe he'll get paid time for it.

See? K likes the way Ace thinks.

"Deal. And don't forget props. Maybe the head of the top cyberman or something. Always adds some good color for that After-Action Review."

See? Ace likes the way K thinks.

"Oh, definitely. Maybe one of their pets too. Disarmed and very dead, of course. Their pets are just as viscious as they are."

"Pets? What the hell kind of pets does a 'cyberman' have?"

"This like those damn Aibo robot mutts we had on my Earth a few years ago? Damn Baltians kept reprogramming them to leak acid on our fireplugs. Kept bursting all over the City."

"No showers in New York that entire month of August. It was *not* a pretty sight. Or smell."

"Well, there's the little electronic ones that look like rolly-pollys on steroids, and can kill you without much trouble... and then there's the mushroom things that are allergic to humans but'll eat you within a minute anyway..."

She really wasn't kidding. Her galaxy goes in for the brutally viscious types.

"I am definitely starting to understand your love of heavy explosives."

K looks back at the Guggenheim. "Well. I better get back and take care of this mess."

K pats Ace on the shoulder. "Best of luck, kid. I'll make sure to get back here soon to find out how it turned out."

"Hey, maybe I can swing you a visit on the TARDIS. Have fun unscrewing the building." She grins up at him cheerily.

Personally, she thinks the easiest solution would be to bomb the hell out of it and start over, but that's just her.

A mermaid wanders by in her newly modified Dendromys. She recognizes the grumpy MIB agent and is about to call a greeting...

...until she sees and recognizes the hologram.

"Mother have mercy! What happened to the Guggenheim?!"

"Hey Naraht. Sorry to hear about the mermaid thing. Hope that's doing all right by you."

He blinks at the Dendromys. "Nice piece of work."

K looks back at the holo. "Ahh. Remelians. They blow through Manhattan every few months. Probably thought this was funny as hell."

Is that a delighted twinkle in Naraht's eye? I do believe it is.

"Doing quite all right," she says. "But thank you for your concern."

She fondly pats the vehicle. "Ray and I built the orginal, but Ray modified it for my current form himself. Me and welding don't quite go together right now."

She favors the holo with a jaundiced eye. "On one level, I can sort of see that...but to risk damaging all that art?! It's obscene."

"Well, so's their sense of humor, if you ask me."

"Guess we should have seen it coming someday, but there you are. And now Ace has me wondering if Frank Lloyd Wright was a Remelian himself and set this up. Can't imagine them thinking that far ahead though."

"So how long is this fin thing going to last?"

Naraht rolls around in the water so that her back is against the side of the tank and she stretches her arms along the rim.

"Truely great practical jokers think ahead," she says. "I have it on good authroity that the people who pulled one on Lt. Commander Peck recently had it in process for half a year. But, you're right, that is one hell of a lot of lead time."

She shrugs. "Until Raven looks at me and sees that all the bugs are dead. And we have no real good estimate of how long that will take."

"Raven, huh? This his idea?"

"Well, whatever works, I guess."

"By the way--. Uh, mind if I ask you a personal question? About Horta physiology?" He taps the PDA in front of him. "Trying to update MiB records."

"It was far better than the alternative," Naraht says. "The First Mother paid me a visit. She doesn't show up for a backed up acid gland."

She smiles slightly. "I don't mind in the least, K. Ask away."

"Well, it's sort of tied to that first Mother thing."

"The way I understand it, you didn't expect to be female? How's that work?"

"It's a matter of probability," she says, pushing a stray lock of hair out of her eyes. "I might have told you before that Horta don't develop gender until the end of our cycle.

"Well, when we do engender, it's not the roughtly 50/50 ratio that many humanoids have." She snorts. "It's more like 1 to 999,999,999."

Ok, even K will blink at that.

"So, hold on a second. Does that mean you might take over her spot some day?"

She closes her eyes tightly. "If Random wasn't blowing vapor with his prediction and if the fact that I have apparently defaulted to a female form twice means that either physiologically or psychologically I tend that way, then yes, I will be come a Mother if not the Mother. Some of our most distant memories tell that, if Horta population falls, more than one will be engendered and we did have a rather severe pre-hatch population drop in my generation."

Her eyes open with a slightly haunted look. "But, if that is the case, I do not look forward to it."

K hestitates, seeing that look in her eyes.

"All right. Naraht, you have every right to tell me, as a friend, to go to hell with this next question. No apology needed."

"But why aren't you looking forward to that? Wouldn't it be an honor?"

Of course, K knows perfectly well that most honors don't come without a heavy price.

"It is...but to be the only one left of my generation," she sighs. "The males die after mating, you see. Then having to guard, raise and to some extent govern the next by myself..."

She shakes her head. "I don't think I'm up to that particular challenge."

A sad smile creeps across her face. "At least I have 49,000 years to try to get ready if that is the case, but still.."

...

That's a heavy price, all right.

"Well, yeah, you've certainly got some time to get a head start. That's a burden to bear, though, Naraht, no lie."

"Sort of makes you wonder, doesn't it, if that might be why Bar brought you here? Maybe this place could be a refuge. At least, you know it's going to be around 'til then."

"Just a thought anyway."

"Somehow I doubt this is standard Mother training," she says with dark humor. "But...perhaps you're right."

She smiles at him. "Thanks, K."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only