milliways_bar | (no subject)

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There's an especially annoyed Man in Black in the bar.

K strides from the Front Door straight to a booth, not missing a step as he calls out, "Bar, a bourbon and anything you have on Remelian heavy construction methods and materials specifications, please."

By the time he slides into the booth, a glass and two imposing manuals appear on the table with a slight *bamph*.

"Thank you, darlin'"

Next to these K puts down a PDA for note-taking and an odd device that, with a flick of the switch, creates a small hologram of New York's Guggenheim Museum. Except this one seems to have been screwed halfway into the ground.

K barely has the first manual open before he starts grumbling about "goddamn Remelian practical jokes."

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"Took out a space station." She replies without even blinking. "You'd think you'd notice them setting up for something like that." Yes, Ace has no problem carrying on two conversations at once. Even with the same person. Try talking to the Doctor when he gets worked up.

K nods, suitably impressed. "Good one."

"Took 'em thirty seconds. You'd think we'd have a contingency plan for this. I mean, *look* at the damn thing. Somebody was bound to screw it into the ground sooner or later."

"Got any aliens in your universe with ships shaped like Phillips screwdrivers?"

K probably means that as a joke. But then again, it never hurts to ask...

Ace frowns, considering the pictures.
"Are you sure the designer wasn't a... whazzit, Remelian? To be so convinient like that..." Ace doesn't believe in coincidence. She used to. Then it turned rabid and bit her in the butt.

K thinks about that.

"Frank Lloyd Wright? Hmmm. You could be on to something there, Ace."

"That'd also explain the porkpie hat."

"Hey, that space station. Anybody I would know? Maybe you did us a favor."

"Doubt it. It's very, very much in the future and possibly an alternative timeline."

Pause.

"But I think we did the cosmos a favor anyway. In several ways."

"Well, if you thought they had it coming, that's good enough for me."

K turns to another part of the manual.

"A hyper-torque generator with anti-grav capacity."

"Ahh, hell, now how'm I going to requisition something like that? I can tell already, the paperwork is going to kill me on this one."

"They were experimenting on kids." And that is more than enough reason for Ace.

"... Get one from the Bar?" She used to suggest getting on from the TARDIS, but she's been unable to use that suggestion for almost a year now.

A flash of anger crosses K's face. "Best reason *I* can think of."
----

"Hmmm. Bar? Any chance of that?"

No *bamph*. Instead a noise that sounds almost, but not quite, like a raspberry.

Beat.

"Figured as much." K turns to Ace and shrugs. "Worth a try."

"So what's next for you? Any new action coming round the next bend?"

"The Doctor needs help clearing off a few Cybermen. Ought to be interesting, anyway." In a 'gee I hope I don't die today' sort of way.

Ace's favorite.

"Well, you know what they say. Just take down more of them than they do of you."

"Never had to deal with robots much myself. Not yet, anyway. Used to think my VCR was possessed, but I guess that isn't the same thing."

"Guess I should meet this Doctor of yours sometime. Is he one of those "Doctor of Everything" types?"

Damn overachievers.

Ace?

Is very, very amused.

"He likes to think so, anyway. He's good at fixing things. I think he might actually hold a medical degree somewhere, but I'm really not sure about that one."

K smiles at Ace and shakes his head. "Ought to be interesting"

"You need any help with those cybermen, or do you have it covered?"

"I think we've got it. I've got plenty of spare change this time." Sure Ace knows there's more sophisticated methods.

Change works though.

"Good. Always glad to lend a hand if you need it, though."

"Hope I get a chance to hear how it goes. *When* you get back."

Because K has no doubt she will.

Of course she'll come back. In over nine hundred years only one companion has ever failed to come back, and she's no Aldric.
"I'll tell you all about it. You know. Just in case there's a Cyberman invasion of the bar or sommat." Call it an intra-agency conference, and maybe he'll get paid time for it.

See? K likes the way Ace thinks.

"Deal. And don't forget props. Maybe the head of the top cyberman or something. Always adds some good color for that After-Action Review."

See? Ace likes the way K thinks.

"Oh, definitely. Maybe one of their pets too. Disarmed and very dead, of course. Their pets are just as viscious as they are."

"Pets? What the hell kind of pets does a 'cyberman' have?"

"This like those damn Aibo robot mutts we had on my Earth a few years ago? Damn Baltians kept reprogramming them to leak acid on our fireplugs. Kept bursting all over the City."

"No showers in New York that entire month of August. It was *not* a pretty sight. Or smell."

"Well, there's the little electronic ones that look like rolly-pollys on steroids, and can kill you without much trouble... and then there's the mushroom things that are allergic to humans but'll eat you within a minute anyway..."

She really wasn't kidding. Her galaxy goes in for the brutally viscious types.

"I am definitely starting to understand your love of heavy explosives."

K looks back at the Guggenheim. "Well. I better get back and take care of this mess."

K pats Ace on the shoulder. "Best of luck, kid. I'll make sure to get back here soon to find out how it turned out."

"Hey, maybe I can swing you a visit on the TARDIS. Have fun unscrewing the building." She grins up at him cheerily.

Personally, she thinks the easiest solution would be to bomb the hell out of it and start over, but that's just her.

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