milliways_bar | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Life, it seems, had taken on some sort of routine, whether or not that routine was actually preferable. Stay at the... place they were staying at (certainly not home), go out for a few things but mostly patrol, go back. The bar had stopped inserting itself, and while he was grateful to not have to discuss things, he wasn't grateful for the absence.

But his routine had changed in the last few days, mostly because his father had decided he deserved some sort of break. He'd protested, and tried his best not to, but in the end got ushured off because his father was even more stubborn than he was. So it's been a lot less stressful, and now it seems that the bar is inserting itself once more.

Because instead of ending up where he wants to go, he ends up there instead.

He really has no idea if he's grateful or reluctant about it. He supposes he'll just have to decide after sitting here for awhile in a booth, and seeing who comes around.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I'm realizing," Connor says, "That if I'm only hurting myself in an attempt to make something easier for someone, there might be something wrong with that." Not in every situation, but. There were a few, yes.

"And I hate to say it, but I've been letting myself be hurt around you."

Okay. So he had to admit, he hadn't seen that one coming. He blinked, then blinked again. And he didn't exactly know what he did wrong, but he didn't need to in order to feel guilty. He hadn't realized that he had put Connor in such a position, after all.

"I... I'm sorry."

And that was the problem, wasn't it? He hadn't been filled in with nearly enough information -to- know. Things might be far different if he had been.

"No. I don't want you to be." That wasn't what he was looking for here. "I just..." How, exactly, to put this? "I didn't think it'd be this hard. And I need to know if I'm waiting around for something, or if I should just... move on. Accept friendship and nothing more."

It -was- a fair question.

It was. And it was something that Kyle had mulled around about for a good amount of time, when he wasn't off saving a planet or two.

"No, I do need to apologize. I know that I haven't been the easiest to figure out lately." With all the stuff he had been going through, he hadn't even known what the hell was going on with his life. But being brought back to Oa to train the recruits really helped him.

"I like you Connor. I really do. And I'm willing to give this a try. But I know that I won't be the best boyfriend, I can tell you that off the bat. I'll be busy, I get too emotionally involved with other people..." All mistakes he'd made in the past. And those things didn't just suddenly change.

"But...if you'll have me, I-I'd like that," he said with a sheepish expression.

That... had not been the response Connor had been expecting at all, and it showed. Not that he knew what he'd been expecting. Just... certainly not that.

""I... are you sure? I mean..." Why was he questioning it? Well, really, the fact was, the whole time he'd been worried about pushing him. So of course he'd be worried about it now. "...if you're not ready..."

Kyle had to laugh a bit at that response.

"What happened to the whole pushing for yourself thing, huh?" He asked playfully, hiding his insecurity that maybe Connor had changed his mind. And, well...honestly, he'd never be really ready. But he felt that this could really help him, and he did really like Connor.

Connor blinks, and shakes his head a bit. "A work in progress for a long while, I think." One couldn't achieve anything so easily as just saying they were going to, after all. Sadly.

"And well," He says, and smiles at Kyle, "I certainly haven't changed my mind." So yes, he did... want this. Very much.

"It'll...probably be kind of slow." Since Kyle's relationships had been rather slow anyway. He was always friends with them a while before they moved on.

And the whole thing with drunk Connor had been amusing, but definitely not slow. But he was going to go into denial of that right now.

That sort of thing was not his style, either, ~~despite what encounters with ghostly ladies might say to the contrary.~~ So.

"What's your definition of slow?" Just to establish that.

"Well," he said, thinking about it for a second. "I won't be around that much, like I said. It really depends on when I'm not teaching those rookies. And, well...nothing dramatic, yeah? Just taking it one step at a time."

"Dramatic?" Connor asks, his brow furrowing slightly. Considering the fact that he had, well, no experience... and what he'd observed for the most part hadn't been good examples, he's really not sure what to make of this.

"Um..." How to explain it. Because really, Kyle had been the dramatic one in the relationships, most of the time. So when asked what it was, he was at a loss of what to say.

"I don't how to explain. So...you'll know when it comes to it?" He tried.

Was that really a help? Not at all. But if it's all he can give, it's not like Connor can ask for more. But... "No... examples?"

Kyle really, really didn't want to give an example of what he had done that could be considered dramatic. Because...well, it'd been a while, but it still wasn't something he liked to think about.

"...No."

"Well," Connor says, "If I do something... dramatic, you might just have to let me know."

That was a little worrying, but he figures he shouldn't let himself worry about it. If he just acted normally, all shoudl be fine?

"I'll make sure to do that," he said with a sheepish expression, feeling bad that he couldn't be more specific without digging up painful memories.

"Then it'll be simple." Or at least, it seemed that way to Connor. "I've just... I've never done this before. So I might make mistakes."

"You always make mistakes," Kyle said with a wry smile. Because, really. You made mistakes no matter how many times you've gone through it.

"Well, I guess I'll find out." Which was... a really nice thought, really. Connor has to smile at that. He'd never really expect things to end up here... not at all.

"What? Are you happy to make mistakes?" Kyle asked, puzzled. Remember, he was the dense one!

"No," Connor says, "I'm happy to be involved in this at all. I can take mistakes along the way."

Kyle couldn't help from blushing a little, scratching the back of his neck. Connor made it sound so...big.

He made it sound big because it -was- a big thing, to him at least. But now he's really not sure what else to say. "So what... do we do now?"

"Um." Well...don't ask Kyle! Or something. "Anything else you want to talk about?"

"I think," Connor says, "That about covered it all."