milliways_bar | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Logan. Bar. Coffee.

He went home recently. Didn't much like it, so he came back. Things are chaos at the Casablancas house and in Neptune in general, and normally Logan would be thrilled, but his playmate's too busy for him at the moment, and Veronica and Duncan are still super-lovey.

Miliways is a better place to be at the moment.

He's pleased to be here, and looking for a chat.

((OOC: On way to cafe for homeworking, but will be online most of the night.))

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"Killed him. Like he would have. One shot through the heart. He told me that."

"Not the same," Logan says, his voice flat. "He woudn't do that to himself. The guilt. They don't feel it."

Softly, after a moment, "There's still... blood... everywhere..."

Logan has no idea what to say or do. He frowns slightly, reaches out and touches Behrooz's shoulder lightly. "No. And yes."

He blinks a few times. Shifts. Finally looks up, and abruptly back down again.

"I..."

"I shouldn't - really, really shouldn't have..."

Logan shrugs. "Doesn't matter. It's done." His voice is hushed, solemn, as if he were speaking at a gravesite.

He rests his head in his hand, still realizing what he'd said.

Finally, in a more normal but still quiet voice, "Guess so."

Logan sighs with relief. Finally, he's back. He gives Behrooz a worrid frown. "You okay?" he asks. He'll sort through all of this later, but for now, it's not important.

He looks up again. Kind of.

"Yeah."

Beat.

"... are you?"

Logan gives him a fierce grin that doesn't have much humor in it. "Yeah. I'm not going to try jumping off any bridges any time soon."

Pause.

"At least, I don't think so. And that's about as good as it's gotten, lately."

After a moment, "... better to avoid it. When you have the choice."

"The bridges?" Logan asks drily. "Or the memories?"

"The dying," he says, a little bluntly.

Pause.

"And the other two."

Logan gives him a wry grin. "Excellent advice."

Beat.

"Before Miliways, I was on the bridge. After, I was still on the bridge, but fighting for my life. It's funny how things change, isn't it?"

Pause. Distantly, "Yeah. Funny."

Logan focuses on Behrooz again. "It was him or you, wasn't it?" he asks sharply. "One of you wasn't going to make it."

"No." His voice is edging colder. "Don't think that. It's not true."

Logan frowns. "What was it, then?"

"... couldn't have done anything. He tried to do it before but then - it was too late -"

"...I don't know."

"Does it matter?" Logan asks, and his voice is surprisingly gentle. "Really? Even if in that instance, it wasn't him or you, exactly, it had been before. Would have been again."

It always seems to be that way.

"He would've been arrested. It would've been..." Over? No. It wasn't even close to over.

So he skips that, skips to the important part. "It didn't fix anything. It didn't make anything right."

Logan nods. "I can see that," he says, and his tone is dry, but not unkind. "But I don't think -" He hesitates. This sort of thing isn't something he's really any good at, but he's going to try anyway.

"I don't think anything would be," he says softly. "Seeing my dad in jail, on trial, on the front page of every fucking newspaper in the country - that didn't make it right, either. It's not justice, not really. But it's the best I can ever get."

"You're not going to find any justice." His voice is soft, but not gentle. "What everyone wants is revenge."

Logan just nods. He's right, of course he is, that's what this is all about.

"That won't make it right either," he says, and he sounds defeated. "I don't think right is possible."

Behrooz doesn't say anything for a while.

Then, "I don't really know."