(no subject)

[howmanynipples.livejournal.com]

Shadwell is lurking by the bar, trying to get some service in this heathen place.

He's really craving a nice cup of tea, but he'll settle for anything that doesn't feature the blood of virgins.



[OOC: If anyone would like to explain the "magical bar" concept for him, go right ahead-- but please can it only be the first person to tag? Love you all.]

Comments

[called_lioness]

"Are you trying to get something in particular?" Lucy asks, eyeing him a little.

[howmanynipples.livejournal.com]

Shadwell eyes her back.

She could well be a witch.

Then again, she could also work here.

Or those two COULD BE THE SAME THING.

"Aaaaye," he says, very slowly and suspiciously.

[called_lioness]

Of course she could be a witch. Any woman could be.

That makes them worthy of eyeing.

Lucy eyes him yet again. Eyeing squared, as it were. "Well...what do you want?"

[howmanynipples.livejournal.com]

And again, the eyeing is reciprocated.

Cubed, shall we say.

"Tea."

It's somewhere between a challenge and a threat.

[called_lioness]

Lucy's eyes decide there are better thing to look at than possibly deranged older men, and study Bar instead.

"Tea, please?"

And it appears.

[howmanynipples.livejournal.com]

He jumps back (which is more like a stagger with an energetic limp), eyes widening.

"Ye-- what manner o' thing is that?" he exclaims hoarsely, after several unprintable profanities.

[called_lioness]

"...Earl Grey?"

Maybe he's an herbal man.

[howmanynipples.livejournal.com]

His eyes narrow accusingly.

"Ye conjured it! Worked your foul witchcraft righ' under me own nose!"

[called_lioness]

Lucy...just stares.

"What?"

[faithful-slayer.livejournal.com]

Faith, temporarily oblivious to Shadwell's existance, walks up and orders a cup of coffee from Bar, then pats the wood and calls it 'Love' when the coffee appears.

This may appear somewhat barmy.

[howmanynipples.livejournal.com]

Shadwell boggles.

Finally!

That's a phenomenon, that, just try telling him it isn't.

He stomps forward, hand wielded menacingly.

"Stop yerself righ' there, ye handmaid o' Satan!"

[faithful-slayer.livejournal.com]

Faith blinks and turns, raising her eyebrows at him.

"Well, that's going a bit far. I've met him all of once."

[howmanynipples.livejournal.com]

"Y'only have ter meet 'im once to sign his book," Shadwell growls.

And anyway, he doesn't believe her. Everyone knows witches don't tell the truth. Otherwise, why would you have to torture it out of them?

Faith's coffee is being eyes as if it is about to grow tentacles and lunge for his throat.

[faithful-slayer.livejournal.com]

"I've certainly never done that," Faith says, amused, as she sips at her coffee.

"You must be new here."

[howmanynipples.livejournal.com]

The brazen hussy, gulpin' down her witches' brew right in front of him like she owns the place. Well ... well she doesn't.

"I see it wi' me own eyes," he growls. "The devil's draught in yer own hands!"

[faithful-slayer.livejournal.com]

"...what, the coffee? This isn't Lucifer's coffee. I've never had his."

[howmanynipples.livejournal.com]

He narrows his eyes.

Tough nut to crack, this one.

He'll have to disarm her with a clever line of questioning.

"How many nipples?"

[banished-to.livejournal.com]

Hel is many things.

Among them is hard to miss (fifteen feet tall, yes), and half dead.

Have at, Witch finder.

[howmanynipples.livejournal.com]

Well, the findin' of her isn't too hard.

It takes him a moment to collect his wits, however.*

"Back to the abyss wi' ye, hellspawn!" he exclaims, pointing an only-slightly-trembling finger.

[banished-to.livejournal.com]

She blinks down at him for several long, long seconds,

"I can't have children."

Is all she can think to say,

"And even if I did, I wouldn't be one of them."

[howmanynipples.livejournal.com]

That was a response that he had not been expecting.

He glowers uncomprehendingly, finger of righteous smiting drooping a little.

"... Ah don't mean ye should spawn," he says at last, lamely.

[banished-to.livejournal.com]

"But you said Helspawn."

She points out, reasonably,

"And I can't be Helspawn. Technically I'm Angurbodaspawn. Or Lokispawn, although that's probably just Slepnir."

[howmanynipples.livejournal.com]

"... 'Course ye can be hellspawn," he says after a moment of bafflement. His eyes narrow suspiciously. "Dunno 'bout any of them other places."

[banished-to.livejournal.com]

"Spawn means born of."

She says, glaring down at him,

"Those aren't places, they're people. My parents. And I am Hel."

[howmanynipples.livejournal.com]

It registers with him then that she is not just tall, but very, very tall.

He squints up at her.

"Ye don't ... look like a fetid abyss resounding wi' wailing an' gnashin' o' teeth."