Help Wanted

[henry-jones-jr.livejournal.com]

On his way upstairs Indy takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and tacks it to the noticeboard. There are sign-up sheets attached to the bottom.

Elephant Sitters Wanted Two people required to watch a tiny pet elephant while owners are out Short hours and good pay Please help! Our shoes depend on you! Apply to Mike and Indy below

Comments

[gil-whimple.livejournal.com]

Dear Messrs Mike and Indy,

If your shoes are in danger I'm happy to help out when I can, though if you can get a reliable full-time sitter that will be better. However, feel free to use the kitchen as back up. The tiny elephant would probably enjoy a change of scene, plus carrot peelings.

Also, Mr Indy, might I have a word with you at some time about career opportunities in the archaeological world? One of Ratty's babies has aspirations and I suggested he speak to an expert.

Yours,

Gil

[henry-jones-jr.livejournal.com]

Gil,

Thank you for your kind offer. We are indeed persevering to find full time help, but we will definitely take you up on the kitchen space for those emergency moments. That being said, Stampy is not passionate about normal elephant foods such as carrot peelings, primarily because Mike and Mel got her hooked on sugar and chocolate when we first took her in. We are trying to wean her onto a hay and vegetable diet now, but our efforts are being met with some resistance.

Regarding the career opportunities, I have a few ideas and would be happy to discuss them with you at your convenience. The world of archaeology is full of narrow ledges, small holes and tunnels impassable to normal-sized humans. I can see an intelligent rat being very useful in the field.

Yours,

Indy.

[slayer_fray]

I'm hurt. Hurt you haven't asked me to look after her.

- M

[mnt_mike]

It's all Indy's fault. Totally his fault. Not mine. Did I mention the part where this is Indy's fault?

-M

[henry-jones-jr.livejournal.com]

Indy scratches out Mike's purile note and writes one of his own.

Mel,

You do your fair share of watching Stampy for us already. We took it as a given that you would still be willing to sit in on her for some shifts. As cute as you are when you pout, please don't hurt us.

Love,

Indy (and Mike, probably)

[guppy_sandhu]

Guppy sees the notice and looks at his steadily increasing tab.

To Mr Mike and Mr Indy,
I would be happy to watch your elephant. Would it mind being in the company of a small magical flamingo? Because I've just gained one and I would have to keep an eye on her at the same time.
Guppy Sandhu

[henry-jones-jr.livejournal.com]

Dear Mr Sandhu,

Thank you for your kind offer. Unfortunately, Stampy's track record is rather poor with regard to interactions with birds of both a magical and non-magical nature. She ran foul of a sparrow shortly after we adopted her, and she has never been the same since. The sinister ducks on the lake have not helped matters, and it has now got to the point where she whimpers every time we have Kentucky Fried Chicken for supper. As such, we are cautious about leaving her under someone else's care in the company of any birds at this time.

However, we are diligently trying to work with her phobia and would like to introduce her to some amiable small birds in a controlled environment in the near future. Would it be possible to set up a 'play date' for our miniature creatures and see how they get along? We'd certainly appreciate it. Please let us know.

Regards,

Messrs Jones and Angelo.

[guppy_sandhu]

Guppy sees the note and scribbles a quick response.

Messrs Jones and Angelo,
I'm sure that would be fine. She's a bit wild, so you might want to wait a little while. At the moment she would be more likely to scare Stampy than encourage him. At the moment I'm teaching her to write so that we can communicate (she has trouble speaking but none understanding). When she can assure me that she will behave I'll get back to you!

Guppy

[half-giant.livejournal.com]

Hagrid sees the note and snorts - no one ever thinks to ask the animal expert.

"He pulls out a quill and writes: I kin do it fer free, if yeh don' mind me takin' out doors while I work in the gardens.

-Hagrid"

It doesn't occur to him that they might not know who he is.

[mnt_mike]

Dear Mister Hagrid
if that is indeed your real name.

We would be delighted to further discuss with you some arrangements in the realm of animal care and entertainment. Please bring the following to a joint committee meeting on the topic at hand.

- Resume
- List of Three References who have know you for at least five years, one of which can be Personal
- A rubber WallStreet Journal, which is preferred over a rubber Washington Post.

Please respond with suitable times and places for interview.
Good day to you sir.

Michael T. Angelo.

[half-giant.livejournal.com]

Dear Mr. Angelo,

I ain't sure what a rusume is, but Tonks, Ron Weasley, an' Harry Potter will all vouch fer me.

I teach Care of Magical Creatures at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry when I ain't bound to the bar.

I also ain't sure what Wall Street Journal or a Washington Post is, but I'll bring one if the Bar can provide one.

Any time you want to talk to me, and anywhere, I reckon. I work out in the gardens most days, so I'll be around.

Thanks?
Rubeus Hagrid
(my real name!)

[awesome_lilly]

Dear Naked Friends,
I'd be happy to take care of Stampy sometimes, she was totally cute. I can't do it on Thursdays, though, because a naked girl and a curious mini-elephant is totally not a good mix. And you don't have to pay me, just buy me a drink once in a while. Later, sais.

Lilly

[henry-jones-jr.livejournal.com]

Dear Lilly,

Thank you for that mental image. I shall never look at you or Stampy the same way ever again. However, if it's ok with Mike, I don't mind you looking after Stampy at all. We have Thursdays covered but there are several other evening and afternoon shifts still free. Just let us know when you are available.

Indy

[mnt_mike]

All but the following have been blackened out of Indy's response.
It now reads:


Dear Lilly,

Thank ...................... I shall .......look at you ............ same way .....................I don't mind you looking...........at all. We have Thursdays........... but there are several other evening and afternoon shifts ..................when you are available.

Indy