milliways_bar | (no subject)

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She can see him from her booth. He's sitting in the back, almost hiding, but from her booth, above the heads of other patrons, Jaina can see him. She can see him and she can feel him, but that feeling's only in the Force. Loud and clear in the Force, strong or maybe even stronger than any bond she's ever shared with Jace.

But Zekk's not in her mind. He's not there reading her thoughts and being her and her being him and he's gone. The mindmeld's gone.

Gone and there and Jaina keeps watching him, not touching the mug of ale in front of her.

It hurts. A lot.

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Jag slides into the booth next to her with a large slice of ryshcate on a plate and two forks, apparently oblivious to the brooding. He is celebrating!

"I beat it today," he says with a smile. "The Battle of Endor. With every class of ship from the X-wings to the Executor herself."

"Congratulations," Jaina answers dryly, eying the ryshcate and her husband momentarily before turning back to staring at Zekk.

And moping. She never thought she'd think this, but it vapin' sucks not to have him in her mind anymore.

He slides a fork over to her, as well as the cake. But not before taking a bite himself.

After a moment, he notices where she's looking and who she's looking at. Jag raises an eyebrow and waves his fork in Zekk's direction. "So what's he done this time?"

"Nothing," Jaina says with a sigh and shakes her head. "Kriffing nothing. And if he did, I wouldn't know."

Maybe if he was angry or guilty enough, she'd sense it through the Force. But it's still not the same. Not what she had gotten used to.

This is cause for a frown. And another glance at Zekk.

"What do you mean, you wouldn't know?"

"Except through the Force, I can't sense him, Jagged."

She blinks and steals another look towards Zekk, who's eyes meet hers momentarily before she looks back down at the table.

""

"The meld?"

He looks at her a moment, then back over at Zekk. Then at Jaina again, and he's half-smiling and half-shocked and something inside him wants to grin and shout and twirl her around the room-- but he sees the pain on her face and realizes how hard this must be for her.

It is with much difficulty that he manages to keep most of the elation out of his voice and sound appropriately comforting as he slips an arm around her shoulder.

"They said it would fade with time... when did you realize it was gone?"

"Yesterday? Today? Somepoint in between," she whispers, leaning in to his arm.

It's not the same as having someone in your mind, but it's comfort. It's human comfort and he's her husband she loves him.

"I can feel him. In the Force. And I know he feels me, but it's..."

"He's still here, Jaina." The muscles in his jaw clench for just a moment, a spasm of jealousy that he tries to ignore. His arm tightens around her possessively. "I'm here."

Jag knows it's unfair and childish and wrong, but times like these he wishes the tall, dark Jedi was dead. Or at least that he'd never formed that bond with Jaina. Or was just out of the picture completely. It would make things so much easier.

She feels his arm tighten around her and it doesn't take the Force to know why. Normally, she likes it when he acts like this, because it makes her feel important and loved.

But tonight, right now, she just wants to hear another voice in her head. Jaina doesn't want to be alone and it feels like it, even with him here. It's just not the same tonight.

She places a hand on his cheek and looks up at him, smiling faintly. "I know you are. You've always been here for me. Thank you."

It's still not the same.

"You do the same for me," he replies, smiling slightly. Jag hopes that this is a sign of her mood lifting. Perhaps a change of subject would help with that too.

He looks at the wall where the door ought to be. Reminding her that they're both still Bound is probably not the best thing to bring up just now.

Cake and ale are not exactly good points for conversation jumps either. Kriff.

Maybe just sitting here and holding her will be enough for now.

Jaina nods and leans against him again, giving him a tight squeeze. ""

And then, there's that part of her that's happy that it is gone. Because no meld means privacy again. And it means she can really be just her again.

"I know."

He won't say that he's sorry it's gone, because he's not, but he doesn't like to see her this upset. Maybe with time, it'll fade away and she'll get used to just being Jaina again. He hopes.

She sighs again and shuts her eyes, as if it would make any difference.

No. Nothing. Zekk's still only present through the Force and she can't hear anyone else in her mind.

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