(no subject)

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco was out back, toward the woods. Currently practicing creating a Patronus, but of course for somebody who's rarely truly happy, it's very difficult. Wearing his Persian styled wizard robes, better for the on-coming summer weather while he practiced.

Comments

[mogget_cat]

*The cat-shaped creature in a nearby tree watches the young wizard with curiosity.*

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco currently had his wand, and after attempting to focus on something good. Like when Potter got that lifetime ban from Quidditch.

"Expecto Patronum!" But there was only a faint haze with slight glow that emerged from his wand.

He cursed under his breath at that, getting increasingly frustrated.

[mogget_cat]

*The voice is... almost professorial in its pedantic tone.*

The memory's not good enough.

*The Patronus Charm was a point of interest for Yrael when he visited Hogwarts Library, some time ago. He had meant to follow up on it during the visit to the Wizarding Library in Amsterdam with Tom, but his pockets were getting full of shrunken book copies by the time he remembered.*

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco glanced up at the tone, and also the voice was familiar.

"Oh it's you, and thank you for stating the bloody obvious. If it was good enough, it would have worked." He sneered some.

[mogget_cat]

*The not'cat stretches, yawning and flexing its claws.*

Then why did you try it?

Or perhaps the memory was good enough, and it is the rememberer who is not.

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

"Because I thought it was good enough," Draco said with a very 'duh' tone to his voice.

"And I am good enough." He snarled, and almost went to threaten with a hex or a curse. But stopped himself in time. He schooled his face into a neutral expression again.

[mogget_cat]

If you say so, of course. *The cat grins at him, amused.*

A stronger memory, then, for your next attempt at getting it right.

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco exasperatedly said, "I know!"

He tried to concentrate on something better. Something happy. Why was it so hard?

Hmm... maybe spending holidays with his parents as a child? That certainly seemed happy. Hmmm... no. The times he's flying on a broom? Better...wait? Maybe that one? Cool breeze, sensation of flying...

"Expecto Patronum!" It didn't have a shape yet, but it was definitely brighter, and well, looked more like a well formed blob. Not as much like smoke or haze.

[mogget_cat]

*There is a sigh from the Bright Shiner in the tree.*

Serves me right for expecting you to get it right.

Come now, think! What is the best you have ever felt? Even I know mine.

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco's grey eyes narrowed a little, "What's that supposed to mean?"

But on the next part, he paused. The best. There seemed to be many. But moments where he was truly happy? Seriously? There were moments, but something tinged them. Maybe because he was taught to suppress his emotions, not be so obvious.

But happiness, pure joy? When?

"...I don't know." he quietly said.

[mogget_cat]

I have the moment in which I was the happiest I have ever been locked in my memory. Easy.

*He tilts his head.* Never had a moment when emotion has filled you and lifted you over every worry or care?

*The cat tuts, perhaps pityingly.*

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco continued thinking. When he had laughed? A real one, not one full of mockery and irony? Really smiled instead of just smirking, or putting on for show?

He blinked with some surprise.

"No."

[mogget_cat]

(ooc: Gonna be in and out for about half an hour more. Sorry for the delay.)

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

(ooc: np, about to eat some dinner anyway.)

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

Random has, over the past few days, started a habit of walking around the lake to smoke after supper.

Today is no different.

Except it is, because it means he stops in his tracks a good deal away from Draco.

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco was still busy practicing the Patronus Charm, still without much luck. The most he could get was faintly glowing smoke from out of the wand, but nothing like how it's supposed to see.

"Bugger!" He snarled under his breath.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

Good. That means Random gets a few seconds to take a calming breath or two, and maybe a step backwards or so.

So for now, he stays watching.

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco was likewise taking calming breaths, trying to concentrate. Find something happy.

"Expecto Patronum!" Hmmm... better, more glow, still not really much of a shape. But it was more promising.

As it faded, he then noticed somebody familiar a distance away. Random? What the Merlin did he want?

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

Nothing. Just to watch.

And offer;

"Is that what it's supposed to look like?"

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

"Yes," Draco said at first, and then admitted. ""

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

Cheerfully;

"But getting there, I'm sure. What are you having trouble with?"

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

"Nothing, just need to focus and concentrate," he loftily said, and tried again after a moment of concentrating. Testing out any memory that seemed happy.

But that attempt was even worse than the last.

"Sod it!" He yelled, and almost threw his wand to the ground. He stopped himself, and tried to calm down again.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"And breathe. Breathing is good."

Or so he's heard.

"Why are you getting angry over failure? There's no point. Just do it slowly and it'll come."

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

"Because I shouldn't fail! I can't. A Malfoy never fails." Draco said. It was aloud, but he was really talking to himself, berating himself.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Now that's just dumb."

Obviously.

"Success is getting up one more time than you fall down, and all that shit. What you need to do is find a thousand ways of trying that don't work, and then use what you're left with. It's the end result that people remember."