milliways_bar | (no subject)

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[Out of Milliways, and into Twin Peaks: Dale Cooper isn't above a little minor subterfuge. And neither is Audrey Horne.]

Cooper sticks his head into the bar, and follows it. There's a copy of the Twin Peaks Gazette under his arm.

When he settles at the bar and unfolds it, the lead story is about a -- get this -- campaign rally. For Jerry Horne. In the sheriff's campaign.

Apparently Jerry Horne is making campaign promises. One of them -- so the headline screams -- is A FISH IN EVERY PERCOLATOR.

Something that Special Agent Dale Cooper, FBI, is wondering --

How in god's name is an abomination like that an incentive to vote for Jerry Horne?

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*He had just been walking by, on his way to get supper from Bar, even. The headline is hard to not notice.*

*idly* I'd vote for him.

Uh, says Cooper's face.

"On those grounds alone?"

*Yrael shrugs, looking over towards Bar and wondering if he should have his salmon grilled or fresh, tonight.* Why not? I would vote, and if he won I would start collecting percolators, and then make sure he kept his promise.

"Have you ever had coffee brewed with a fish?"

Not yet. But who said I would be putting coffee in there with the fish? *Yrael grins.* The promise did not say A FISH IN EVERY PERCOLATOR, WITH YOUR COFFEE. I shall keep my percolators empty.

I do not drink coffee that often, anyway.

Well. It's official. Yrael would not fit in well in Twin Peaks.

We here at home are sure that Yrael is heartbroken.

"Couldn't you just have the fish without the percolators?"

*He's lying about the coffee, anyway. He had a bet on with Meg for a long time about how she would never catch him drinking coffee. Since, he's always told others that he doesn't like coffee. He prefers tea. Er... sometimes his tea looks and smells a lot like coffee, yes. Ahem.*

Yes, but normally I do not find people gauranteeing me fish. If the percolators are necessary, I will get them so I might receive free fish.

"Perhaps fortunately, under the laws of the State of Washington, you can't vote for Mr. Horne." Just a little dry.

*He tilts his head, sitting on the barstool next to Cooper.*

What would I need to be able to vote?

"Residency. And to register."

The only elections Cooper has missed are those held while he was out of the country. And even then he managed to get absentee ballots for a few of them.

How does one prove residency? *Registering would be no problem... perhaps. Of course, getting to Twin Peaks would be the main trouble.*

"Documentation of various sorts." Cooper eyes him. "You're not thinking about moving to Twin Peaks?"

I am not sure. It may not be worth the effort.

*One can always trust Yrael to ask the important questions.* What kind of fish can one find there, in percolators and out?

"You'd have to ask a fisherman," says Cooper. "Salmon, in season. Trout of various kinds. I'm not too familiar."

*Yrael smiles, thoughtfully.* Chinook, Coho, Pink, Brown, Rainbow, Cut-throat, maybe others. Any perch? Pike? Brim?

*The smile grows slightly.* Where would I find a fisherman who would know?

"...possibly. There's a man who comes in here every now and then -- his name is Harry S. Truman. He'd know a lot better than I would."

*He blinks. He's read something of a vague overview of Earth history, and he knows that name.*

Harry S. Truman?

"Named for the president," says Cooper. "He has a deer's head mounted on his wall with a sign saying -- " Illustrated with hand gestures. " -- THE BUCK STOPPED HERE."

*Yrael gives that eyes-closed, quiet exhale of a laugh that says quite plainly, "That's sad, man."*

How will I know him if I see him?

"He'll be wearing a badge, probably," Cooper says. "He's the county sheriff, and a veteran fisherman."

He hasn't forgotten -- when things slow down, Harry said they'd take a day and go fishing. Cooper is looking forward to it.

Ah.

*There is a thoughtful pause.* If the man promising the fish wins, and I am unable to collect on the promise as I did not vote, may I have your fish?

Cooper could say something to that.

He could say several somethings.

He will not.

"If you'd like."

Cooper is not a fan of Jerry Horne.

*Yrael beams brightly.* Thank you.

"With any luck you'll have to go elsewhere for your fish." Cooper sends a dark look at the newspaper.

You do not plan on voting for the man promising fish, then.

For what reasons?

*Doesn't Dale like fish? How can he not like fish?? It's fish!*