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"Free of charge counselling sessions free of charge!" Says one screeching Dalek as it floats down the stairs. "Free Horoscope and palm-reading, as well. Find emotional well-being despite your frail human psyches!"

Dalek is always botherable.

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"Daleks are not ridiculous! We are perfection!"

"All right," he says, and leans forward on the table, both elbows on the table top. One hand is spread out in the air as the other is curled save for the index finger, which hooks itself onto the other hands' fingers as he begins to count down his various points:

"For starters, the phrase 'Free of charge counsellings sessions free of charge' is redundant. If you were really perfection you'd a better grasp on language than most humans, if not all.

"Second, perfection implies intelligence, and intelligent people wouldn't waste their time on horoscopes and palm reading. Philosophy and psychology are far more interesting and complex--and in accurate, in my view.

"Thirdly, how the bloody hell does moisturizer work wonders on the mind? A being that is perfect would know moisturizer only works on the skin, and the only thing it does to the mind is make a person feel vainer than they already are."

"Physical wellbeing," Dalek almost snarls. "Leads to emotional wellbeing, human." Do not argue with the self-help books.

James rubs one of his hands against his forehead.

"You cannot compare the application of moisturizer with physical well being. You can add all the bloody moisturizer you want and still be in the worst physical shape."

"It's best to take little steps, at first."

"Little steps like taking a walk and drinking water instead of soda."

Hey, he's ex-military. You aren't ever going to get him to wax philosophical about the physical benefits of moisturizer.

"Do you not already do that?!" Dalek is outraged.

Bond lowers his hand and looks at the Dalek with a furrowed brow and narrowed eyes.

"You're not also ridiculous, you're also insane."

"That is an insult to the Daleks! You are an enemy of the Daleks!"

"Am I really? Do I get some sort of prize for that?"

"No."

James snaps his fingers. "Damn."

He was really expecting the Dalek to say something like "EXTERMINATION!!!"

Dalek does hate to disappoint, but sometimes it can't be avoided.

"All enemies of the Daleks are exterminated."

James looks positively giddy at the prospect. In the way that James can look positively giddy.

"I always wanted to be exterminated by a tin can!"

"My weapons aren't operational. It will need to be scheduled for another time!"

He frowns. "But what if I don't want to die another day?"

Mun profoundly apologizes for the BAD PUN.

"You do not have a choice, human!"

He sighs, much with the long-suffering.

"Fine. Let's compare schedules, then, shall we? Whenever you get yourself repaired, then we can pick a good time for me to kick it."

"I am forbidden from repairing myself," Sulkily.

:O

"You mean I'll never get to die? I am offended! That's false advertising."

"You should not be so eager!"

He gives the Dalek a stern salute. "Yes, Herr Dalek."

"I am pleased we agree."

Right.

He can think of nothing else to say. Which means he's about to go from 0 to bored in 60 seconds, and he--er, probably needs to move. So he pushes his chair back and stands.

"Well, Mr. Dalek, it was nice to be counseled and threatened by you, but I'm afraid I have to go. I sincerely hope we may have many more pleasant conversations like these in the time between now and my imminent death."

"Please come again." Cheerfully.