milliways_bar | (no subject)

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The door to the Bar swings open, there's nothing unusual about this except for the fat, bald guy in his underpants that walks through it.

Homer glances around the Bar suspiciously while scratching his butt.

"Marge...When did we have Bar put into the bathroom?"

He looks over his shoulder waiting for Marge's reply but there's only a wall there now. He shrugs his shoulders and heads towards the Bar.

"Bartender? Anyone serving here?" He scratches his ass again and waits to see if a Bartender appears.

(OOC: Homer Simpson in da Bar. Come on people you know you've always wanted to play with Homer!)

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"It's one of those magic bar thingies," explains the woman - in black, with a tall pointed hat - who ambles up next to him with a friendly grin. "You just say what you wants and it gives it to you."

"Magic?!"

Homers brain immediately kicked into overdrive when he heard the word magic.

Behind the Bar stand a magician, not unlike Dumbledore from Harry Potter. Faeries flutter around while an endless river of Beer flows along the middle of the Bar.

"Mmmmmm, river of beer" siad in a soft tone while drool is running down his chin.

Perhaps not the wisest thing to say in front of a magic bar with a strange sense of humour.

Nanny doens't mind of course. She just pulls out a flask from under her skirts and holds it out to catch some of the beer that's now flowing out of the surface of the wood. Luckily, excess beer disappears as it gets further down the Bar, but there's still enough for the witch to fill up her flask happily.

"That's it," she says.

An excited little yelp escapes Homer before he plunges his lips into the icy cold beer. He slurps for a few minutes before having to stop for air.

"Stupid lungs" He shakes his fist in the direction of his lungs and then grins at the continuing river of beer.

He turns to the woman standing behind him. "Is this heaven?"

"Not by my takin' of the word," says Nanny, who's far too ladylike to drink directly from the river, gulping happily instead from the flask that she fills up regularly.

"On account of how I ain't dead. I'm sure I would of noticed that."

"Hmmmm" Homer eyes her suspiciously and then turns back to the Bar.

"So you can get anything you ask for?" he asks glancing back over his shoulder at her.

"Seems like," Nanny says cheerfully. "I ain't seen anyone ask for something they ain't got, yet."

Nanny herself has yet to ask for

anything

. People get her stuff.

"Wow!" A look of childlike wonderment fills up Homers face as he stares in awe at the Bar.

"You know what would go really well with a river of beer? A tree of doughnuts."

A few seconds after he says it a small tree begins to sprout from the Bar and lo and behold it brings forth doughnuts.

Nanny peers at the tree for a second. Particularly one of the doughnuts, which she proceeds to pluck curiously and take an experimental bit of.

"'Ere, these buns are a bit sticky, in't they?"

Homer of course already has at least 2 doughnuts wedged into his mouth so that when he replies it's in a flurry of doughnut crumbs.

"They're doughnuts, haven't you ever had a doughnut before?" He looks horrified at the thought of no doughnuts and quickly plucks 2 more from the tree incase it vanishes.

"Not that there's anything wrong with sitcky buns," Nanny adds thoughfully, and grins, mouth ful of doughnut. "Why've they got a hole in them?"

Homer considers her question for a moment while munching on yet more doughnut.

"I don't know" he answers deep in thought. "Why do they have a hole, maybe that's what makes them so tasty."

Nanny pulls the half eated doughnut away from her face and peers at it.

"Huh. What will they think of next?"

Bar has obviously had enough of the beer river and the doughnut tree. It disappears and is replaced with a bottle of Duff and a plate of doughnuts.

"Owwwww!" Homer is very disappointed he liked the river and the tree.

"I guess nothing so great could last forever." he quips wistfully.

Nanny can't say she's exactly happy about it either. Her source of free alcohol is gone and she can't exactly help herself to that bottle.

"Nothin' lasts forever," she reflects. "Though they usually last long enough, I finds."

Homer looks at the woman properly for the first time.

"Hey is it fancy dress?"

Any real witches that Homer has met have been all green and warty so he thinks that the woman must be in costume.

Nanny glances down at her dress, pulling out the skirt to look at it properly.

"Well, aren't you the flatterer? It ain't all that fancy."

Homer glances at his underpants suddenly feeling very self concious.

"Can this thing give me some pants?" He points in the direction of the Bar.

"Course she can," Nanny says. "She can give out anything, she can."

He turns to Bar.

"Pants please." In a very authoritive voice.

Bar, having the sense of humor that she does give Homer a large pair of flower power pants.

"What the..."

"Oooh," says Nanny, appreciatively. "Ain't they jolly?"

Homer pulls on the trousers and looks over his shoulder to see what they look like from behind.

"Do these make my butt look big?"

Nanny tilts her head critically, making a show of examining it.

"That's a very fine bottom," she says. "Looks just right."

Homer blushes and waves a hand in a very girly fashion.

"Oh stop, you're embarassing me."

A waistcoat (http://www.escapade.co.uk/ProductImages/Category_32/15697-c.jpg) to match the pants appears on the Bar and Homer puts it on.

Nanny snorts with laughter, and nods.

"Oh, that's very dashing," she says. "Not everyone can pull off them colours."