milliways_bar | Entrance Post

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Entrance Post

Sometimes Milliways seems to attract very, very, VERY odd creatures.

This time is no exception.

When the front door opens it is into a strangly decorated and brightly colored living room/kitchen/notanentrancetoasecretlab. Standing there with its arm reached up is a little green dog with eyes that rarely seem to want to focus on one thing at a time. One odd thing to note is the very large zipper that seems to from the length of its body..not to mention the stitch marks down his head.

Its little pink tongue hangs out the side of its mouth a good long minute before he asks in an overly chipper and computerized-ishness voice.

"Where's meh tacos?"

Bar, meet GIR.

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A red virus looked at the little green dog.

"Tocos?" she asked an elegant golden claw at her unmoving and curious lips.

"Tacos. Meh tacos are missing.." Stepping inside Milliways he squeeks with every little hoped step. "Did yous eats meh tacos?"

The red virus is eye carefully, his head twisting from one side to the other and his eyes rolling around as he does it. She seeeeems nice so far. Zim wouldn't be pleased that people were in their fridge thou- oh look she's shiney!

Her head dropped to one side and her mask changed to one of sadness, with the wave of a golden and black clawed hand.

"I didn't eat your tacos," she said, "Why would I do that?"

The dog looked squishy. Hex poked it.

And it giggles! GIR hugs himself, his eyes making little happy sort of marks across his suit, and he giggles gleefully. "I..don't know. Because tacos are teh yummy yums?"

Being the good GIR unit that he is..and knowing how important it is to remain in disguise, the robot reaches up and removes the top part of his dog costume and pops his head open. He pulls out a muffin offering it to Hex before grabing one for himself. So much for keeping his important parts in.

"I didn't know master had a giiiirrrrrlfriend."

Hex laughed.

"Are you a user or a sprite," asks Hex taking the muffin and wondering if it was okay to eat. User food is bad for her.

She pokes the muffin.

"I am no ones girlfriend," she says, "I am Hexadecimal, chaos virus. Who is your master?"

Her face is now smiling much like the comedy mask of Greece.

"Oh."

Pausing GIR ponders for a moment before happily taking a bite of the muffin. He has no idea what a sprite or a user is but he has played games before. With chocolate all over his face he looks back up at Hex and smiles. "I'm a GIR. Has you seens meh piggeh? Or meh tacos?"

At the mention of his master the little robot looks around with large blue eyes hoping Zim wasn't in the bar. "Zim. He is gonna rain some dooooomiedoomiedooooom down."

If Hex had eyes she would be rolling them.

"Oh, him," she said almost loathingly, "I've met him."

Hex studies her claws and gives the muffin back.

Hex begin to laugh maniacally.

Oh the laugh makes GIR start to laugh as well. One of those sort of laughs that ends up with half his head hanging backwards in a evil way. He's learning well from Zim.

Then, suddenly with muffin in hand, GIR snaps to attention with his eyes glowing red. "GIR reporting for duty! Oh a muffin!" Instantly the eyes change back to blue and the new muffin is cramed into his mouth much like a squirrel.

Hex's face changes from kind to pure evil. There are teeth, big sharp teeth, lots of big sharp teeth; too many for the mouth of her mask. The mouth is smiling. Just as quickly, though, she changes back to a mask of serenity.

"My what a delightful little thing," she says tapping GIR on the top of the head, "What is your function?"

GIR stands there for a moment with his face covered in chocolate muffin. "I...don't know.." Then he starts to laugh again, looking around for another muffin inside of his noggin instead pulling out a stuffed piggy.

"Is meh piggeh!" squeezing the little stuffed big he sighs happily before offering him to Hex for inspection.

She took the piggy and looked at it. A cloud of viral energy enveloped the toy and it vanished.

Viral energy leaked out of GIRs head.

But...but...the piggy!

Sniffling as the pig vanishes he holds up a little hand wiping away a tear or two before finally speaking again. "I luved teh piggy...So..so young..so...piggeh.."

Hex's face changed to her sad face with pursed lips, and a blue tear at the corner of her eye.

"Check your head," she said nicely to the little robot that she was about to adopt and call her own. Well, if Scuzzy wasn't here something would have to do.

Poping open his head he finds the missing taco and...the piggy! There is much squeeing and joyfulness from the little robot in the dog suit.

"Is meh piggy! I luv you piggeh!" Squeesing the little stuffed animal he then looks to the taco. "I luv you taco!" Even the taco is huged and sends its contents down the front of his dog suit. Of course, GIR doesn't care and starts to lick it off.

Hex watched this activity and decided she liked the robot. He would be her minion and that was that.

When he was finished with the taco she picked him up.

"GIR you are mine now," she purred, "That little green thing doesn't even know how useful you are."

She cradled him like a baby.

He belonged to Zim..but..he could have two masters! Nothing was written in the books that said he couldn't! As he is cradled like a baby in Hex's arms he plays with the squeekie piggie making oinking noises and those of a plane. Because, really, GIR is like a child.

Hex enjoyed this for 10 seconds and poofs the robot and herself outside. Then she drops him to the ground and picks her way into the forest.

She would make a bad mother, but she doesn't care.

" GIR," she shouts.

"Oh look! A squirrel!" Skiping after the little fleeing creature for a moment he turns back to Hex, already impersonating the little fuzzy thing.

However when Hex calls for him he stops, eyes going read and his jet-feet kicking him in to catch up with her. "Yes, my master!"

"Go find a rabbit," she said, "A nice red furry rabbit."

Hex looked evil. But she hand plans for the rabbit.

Saluting GIR stands still for the longest of moment before his eyes go from being red back to blue. "Now?"

He saw a fuzzy. He liked teh fuzzy.

Crow's at the bar trying to wash Cave Dwellers out of his mind using pancakes. The bad dubbing plus the incredibly wooden acting directly to the camera had him a bit cranky.

Then there was the new 'bot talking about tacos. Tacos or pancakes, the newest dilemma! "Hey lil guy! Want some pancakes instead?"

GIR turns his head over to where Crow is sitting at and at the mention of pancakes the little green dog runs into the room squeeking with each step. "Waffles? Waffleswaffleswaaaaffffllleeeesss!"

Like any good minding minion the dog head slides off revealing the wacky little robot under it. One who struggles for a moment to get up on the stool before ploping down beside of Crow. "I like meh waffles."

"Nooo, not 'waffles', pancakes. Say it with me, paaaan-caaaakes." Crow shares out some of the syrupy cakes onto a plate for GIR.

"Neat costume!" Muffled by another sticky forkful.

Taking a moment the insane little robot watches the pancakes for a moment before grabing a pancake and placing it on his face. It slides down admist a heap of laughter before he licks his own face clean. "I like teh pancakes! No waffles? TACO-PAN-WAFFLECAKES!"

Costume? "Is not Haaallloowwwweeeen yet. 's my Earthling disguise. I'm a mongoose dog."

Crow giggles. A lot. He hasn't got a tongue, so GIR's antics are fascinating. Then he gets an idea. "Here, draw lines on your pancakes to make 'em look like waffles!" Crow promptly does just that, cross-hatching the last one on his plate as artistically as he could.

Again talking with his mouth full, he asks, "Earthling? Are you an alien?" Followed by spoooky sounds.

Pause.

A very long pause.

"Oh look!" GIR says as he pops his head open and pulls out a little squeekie piggy toy. "A piggeh! I luv u piggeh."

Some way of trying to describe he is infact an alien robot whose master is planing on destroying the human race.

Crow's next thought: A piggy!

"A piggy! How cute! Who's a cute piggy? You are!" Here he degenerates into shusazusahoo-type babytalk.

And there is much giggling coming from the little dog costumed robot. Yes..yes he would make the golden one forget he was an alien robot! Muhahah!

Watching the metal one with the piggy for a moment he again pops his head open and pulls out a muffin. Nothing better started the day than tacos, waffles, or muffins with piggies.

Consider the golden one suitably distracted by the piggy.

He does see the appearance of the muffin, though. "Whoah, you're like the TARDIS, aren't you? You got Batman's utility belt in there too?"

GIR opens his mouth wide and takes a chunk out of the huge chocolate muffin getting the frosting everywhere over his face. "Umm...a moose?" Which is true. He got rid of that pesky navigation system Zim had installed just for the moose.

Then, as if suddenly remembering he had a polite function, the little droid grins. "I'm GIR."

"Gir? Like a growl? That's an awesome name for a robot. Like a hunter, right?" Crow drifts off for a moment, imagining a hunt-bot.

"Oh, I'm Crow T. Robot. I live on a satellite."

"I live in a secret underground lab disguised by a house in a typical human neighborhood."

Pause.

"A satellite of doom?" GIR can only hope so. "And no. No growl- only when meh tacos are teh missing. Master doesn't like tacos. I blame the mongooses."

"Well, it's kind of a doomy satellite, at least for us," Crow confides. "Hey, you don't have two dopey human scientists living in your secret underground lab, do you?"

GASP! How did he know about Zim's robot Earthing parents!

"Oh you mean the humanish parent thingies?" the little robot says between bites of muffin. "No."

Crow could totally see Dr. Forrester and Frank raising this little 'bot as their own. GIR would have two daddies!

"Probably a different underground secret lab, then. You watch movies?"

"I luv teh movies and the Scary Monkey show!" To even show how much he likes said TV show he stands on his seat and does the Scary Monkey dance. It's quite comical, really, to watch the little crazy robot to the dance.

"I luv that show!"

Crow laughs with delight. "Hey, you're good, kid! You should have your own show, or go on Carson or something!"

GIR stops, tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. "Carson who?" Ploping back onto his seat the droid grabs another pancake and proceeds to make a smilie face with it.

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